Practical guide to a life in solitude!

[MarkusSweden]

I received a PM from a person here earlier today, and he said..

.."Hey, I have a feeling that we somehow understand each other intuitively, without talking much."

That is really how it goes, even if you go along very well, to a point where you understand the other intuitively without talking much, there is really no good argument why keeping a close relationship.

Not to mention those you don't go along well with. Then it's absolutely no point to keep a relationship going. 

I have had many closed friends, and had a long period where I use to be very popular, I like people and have always been very interested in them. But I don't see the benefits with relationships anymore. Even as a popular person, that becomes very draining at some point, it doesn't lead anywhere. 

I'm not saying I like to live in a cave, I love to be social in a spontaneous way that happens wherever you are. Often taking to strangers is very fruitful. Also speaking to coworkers and colleagues at my sport activities. But other then that. I can't see the point. 

Don't have any interests in family life really. And my parents think I dislike them. I don't, I just can't see the point. Small talks and pointless dinner meetings. 

Friendships is a youth thing to me. Like in the movie "stand by me". My god, I loved friendships back then. But as an adult I don't feel to share my life with any other then my girlfriend(whom I like to change from time to time) 

Having said this, I still have plenty of relationships that I like to end, including family ties, they are good people, so how to end it without feeling bad conscience?

Any of you living the way I like to live. Or maybe some of you have some tips to share? 

 

 

Edited February 20, 2018 by MarkusSweden

[egoeimai]

Awful. Goodbye. 

[Max_V]

@egoeimai Lately your posts seem like you are frustrated or annoyed. Is there anything I can do for you?

[MarkusSweden]

7 minutes ago, Max_V said:

@egoeimai Lately your posts seem like you are frustrated or annoyed. Is there anything I can do for you?

+1 rep

[HII]

1 hour ago, MarkusSweden said:

Having said this, I still have plenty of relationships that I like to end, including family ties, they are good people, so how to end it without feeling bad conscience?

Any of you living the way I like to live. Or maybe some of you have some tips to share? 

The reason you want to cut off family ties is because you don't see the point and it distracts you from other things in which you see more of a point, am I reading you correctly?

I feel similar about my family. Whenever they ask me to meet them, I would much much rather do something else that seems way more important to me. So what I'm trying out at the moment is to just tell them that I feel like I don't have time, because I feel the need to take care of other things and I also tell them what these things are. Works well so far, we'll see how it goes.

[MarkusSweden]

12 minutes ago, HII said:

The reason you want to cut off family ties is because you don't see the point and it distracts you from other things in which you see more of a point, am I reading you correctly?

I feel similar about my family. Whenever they ask me to meet them, I would much much rather do something else that seems way more important to me. So what I'm trying out at the moment is to just tell them that I feel like I don't have time, because I feel the need to take care of other things and I also tell them what these things are. Works well so far, we'll see how it goes.

You get what I meant! I almost feel less creative when I meet my family. They are great, but very materialistic and traditional. They can't understand anything but the conventional way to live life. 

I love contemplating, , listening to music, reading poetry, exercising(running mostly), meeting a girlfriend(I never have one night stands, and I faithful, but I love to exchange them quite frequently, I like the process of getting to know a new women), meditating(happens automatically to me when ever I'm alone) 

I can't stand small talks, talks about practical stuff, talks about work or gadgets. It just suck my creative energy away. I'm also very sensitive to social atmospheres, I like it to be VERY pleasant when ever I'm in a social context.

I like to make sure everyone feels good. And that is quite stressful to have that responsibility when you suppose to talk about things you don't bother about. 

I can't understand why anyone like to socialise unless you talk about existential stuff or share love/humor and friendly bulling. 

 

Edited February 20, 2018 by MarkusSweden

[Pramit]

36 minutes ago, MarkusSweden said:

I like to make sure everyone feels good. And that is quite stressful to have that responsibility when you suppose to talk about things you don't bother about. 

 

why do you take on that responsibility? 

37 minutes ago, MarkusSweden said:

I can't understand why anyone like to socialise unless you talk about existential stuff or share love/humor and friendly bulling. 

 

friendly bullying? although i think love/humour is the main component of many 'friendship', it is based on some dynamic that utilizes that. 

[MarkusSweden]

1 minute ago, Pramit said:

why do you take on that responsibility? 

 

I'm just a happy person, and I like to be that in social contexts as well. A group is not happy(real happiness) unless all members feel comfort and happiness.  

[UDT]

You are everything. Everything is you. See the flaws of others within you. Love them because they cannot be in any other way. Stop differentiating yourself from the rest of existence. Your ego is the problem. Dissatisfaction occurs when you have a gap between perceived and expected reality. The truth however is that there is only one unchangeable reality. Be at peace with it.

[Pramit]

21 minutes ago, MarkusSweden said:

I'm just a happy person, and I like to be that in social contexts as well. A group is not happy(real happiness) unless all members feel comfort and happiness.  

Sometimes you can't make one person happy without making another person(or many others) unhappy. For eg, if i want to talk about philosophy in a group that just wants to talk about that food item they ate 2 days ago. There is nothing you can do to make me happy there, I would just have to leave. But I might stay along for my own reasons. May be I want to observe some people and how they behave. What will you do then? Will I have to force myself to be happy just so I can convince you that I am happy? Sometimes trying to help other people can be a real hindrance to them.

[MarkusSweden]

1 minute ago, Pramit said:

Sometimes you can't make one person happy without making another person(or many others) unhappy. For eg, if i want to talk about philosophy in a group that just wants to talk about that food item they ate 2 days ago. There is nothing you can do to make me happy there, I would just have to leave. But I might stay along for my own reasons. May be I want to observe some people and how they behave. What will you do then? Will I have to force myself to be happy just so I can convince you that I am happy? Sometimes trying to help other people can be a real hindrance to them.

Both marked statements are true! Guess that's why I don't enjoy having relationships and come together in groups. It's lovely to spend time with a friend or a girlfriend just the two of us.

But I'm not sentimental in a way that I have to keep a particular friend/girlfriend for ever, or even for long time. If you like the other person, if their is truly love and respect it's much easier to leave them when life changes.

Because you have that person inside of you anyway. The culture you build up will never leave, even if you leave the person. 

Strangely, long term relationship that wasn't true love and understanding is much harder to break, seem like a paradox, but that's how it is! Perhaps the truth surface that there never was a "real" relation that hurts. I dunno, it's strange. 

Being in groups we can never avoid, but if you don't know the people that well, it's a smother ride I think. You don't care that much. 

 

 

[taleen]

 I agree with you, Socializing with people is always fun.

But having a close friend is also usefull, you can help them when they are tight on the cash, they will also help you at the same aspect.

And having a boyfriend that gets you and never hurts you makes you avoid feeling "socially awkward".

And i personally feel a void inside me whenever am single, i think i might be able to bare but it is nice to fill that vood.

[egoeimai]

3 hours ago, Max_V said:

@egoeimai Lately your posts seem like you are frustrated or annoyed. Is there anything I can do for you?

Yes, absolutely and thank you. 

@MarkusSweden is making fun of me, mocking me, and its frustrating because I apologized for my behavior (I didn't know sth about him) and he ignored me. 

[Shin]

1 minute ago, egoeimai said:

Yes, absolutely and thank you. 

@MarkusSweden is making fun of me, mocking me, and its frustrating because I apologized for my behavior (I didn't know sth about him) and he ignored me. 

Block him then.

[egoeimai]

2 minutes ago, Shin said:

Block him then.

I already did that. But I did that after apologizing to him and tried to keep in touch w/ him. I send him a bunch of messages but he ignored me. Anyway. 

Ok @MarkusSweden I'm done with it now that you answered. We all know your previous identity now and we dont have to pretend like we don't. Its not my business anyway. Sorry if you feel like I'm  mocking you, but I'm not gonna apologize for my eating habits or mood swings. If you wanna know, thats not the case. You can assume whatever you like about me, you don't know me or sth so I'm not even mad about that part. I don't like your sarcasm, but hey, you do you!  No worries. 

Nuff drama. 

Take care, bye.

 

 

[Shin]

9 minutes ago, MarkusSweden said:

@egoeimai Actually that's you mocking me, claiming I'm some former member and saying that I'm awful!

But that's ok, I know that irregular periods comes with bad diet and heavy mood swings as a result. You'll soon be a happy girl again!  

I'm kind to everyone that is kind to me. 

And I like you, even if you don't think so. I like the mocking part as well, but if you don't like it, just drop it, and I'll do so too.  

Hum dude, that's sexist ...

You can treat women how you want in your house, but this is a public forum, so stop that shit.

It was already pretty lame when you said women should just cook and take care of the children (culutural opinion, that's understandable), but saying a girl can't interact properly when she has her period is going way too far.

Edited February 20, 2018 by Shin

[Lorcan]

In response to your question. 

You could become a lone wanderer/bard.

This is my own personal suggestion as an example.

Bring with you a rucksack and put in it what you need to survive. Aside from food. Water and staying warm, especially at night time may be a problem. Deck your bag out with survival gear. It would help if there was some way you could offer value to people. Buy a harmonica, learn how to play it. Play it for money. Go on adventure without rest. See what happens. I doubt doing it will kill you. As long as you keep warm and can access water.

[MarkusSweden]

@egoeimai U2, take care! I dig you, you have integrity!

[Lorcan]

Self deception is notably at work here in this thread. Aha.

[Charlotte]

1 hour ago, Shin said:

Hum dude, that's sexist ...

You can treat women how you want in your house, but this is a public forum, so stop that shit.

It was already pretty lame when you said women should just cook and take care of the children (culutural opinion, that's understandable), but saying a girl can't interact properly when she has her period is going way too far.

+1 rep