On The Verge Of Giving Up

[Natasha]

@99th_monkey Is this a temporary get-away to get some space? Hey, you can stay with @Pinocchio in Netherlands  Hugs

[the_monkey_is_dead]

temporary . but Europe is out for now,

[99th_monkey]

to give up on something is to imply its something worth clinging to in the first place. to suffer in having to give something up is an absurd notion that goes against life fundamentally. nothing is there to give up in the first place. why stew in the struggle of it?

there is an acceptance of the world as it is otherwise it woudnt be. To hold an opinion over it or anything is like a child crying for snack after it just ate lunch. arrogant, selfish and ....young....

theres no fault, its impossible. its a shaky concept to say the least given how much of our world is dictated by the ones that came before us. But still those ones before are important but deserve no more then a tip of the hat and a wag of the finger. "you survived, but I'm confused"

drink the Kool-Aid or slap the cup. playing middle ground works until it doesn't work anymore.  

pendulating doesn't work either, er well.. it does, until it doesn't anymore... the opposite of now, doesn't make NOT now.  it just kills time.

 

everything ends, and therefore starts. everything passes, everything fades and moves on, or seems to. so what is it that doesnt?

we're all in this together, no matter what. we live side by side and hand in hand no matter what. we see and hear and smell and taste and touch together no matter what.

 

I love you all and am so grateful and .... just fucking in awe, I mean seriously what the fuck  

 

 

[99th_monkey]

to walk a path of others is a fun party trick

the longer the harder the better it feels

drink the beer, smoke the smoke

walk into the desert, because its the only way

eat the mushroom and meet the devil

be still and meet the gods

who side are you on?

in a perfect river both banks flow the same towards the center

curve the river ad throw I rocks as you see fit

it doesn't matter, the water is the same

thorns give rise to roses

whos fragrance rings of its ultimate demise

 

 

 

[99th_monkey]

spent the day down by the lake

as per usual the diamonds greet smiling

the song bird sounds so sweet 

and the wine is a little bitter

and why is the backspace my best friend

nap when all there is napping

 

[99th_monkey]

Daughter: Daddy? Where do people come from?

Daddy: That's a very good question. What do you think?

Daughter: I think we come from outer space.

Daddy: Like aliens?

Daughter: No, like in an egg, floating around, waiting for a mommy to have a baby.

Daddy: Do you remember floating around in outer space?

Daughter: No, but i think we all do it, we're like baby gods in eggs floating around waiting for a brain to jump into.

 

 

[Natasha]

8 hours ago, 99th_monkey said:

Daughter: Daddy? Where do people come from?

Daddy: That's a very good question. What do you think?

Daughter: I think we come from outer space.

Daddy: Like aliens?

Daughter: No, like in an egg, floating around, waiting for a mommy to have a baby.

Daddy: Do you remember floating around in outer space?

Daughter: No, but i think we all do it, we're like baby gods in eggs floating around waiting for a brain to jump into.

 

 

Very sweet 

[99th_monkey]

she has her moments

[99th_monkey]

all the relationships are starting to fade.

turning black and fizzling off

like a candle going out,

nothing but smoke and wind and fragrance

the spice has left and the sweet remains 

a bitterness that does not stay, says hi

but can be painted and made to last 

life moving on and the painting stays crying

locked in eternally spinning wheel

covered by fog

i stumble

and tumble

and roll

beat up by the very wheel ive run on

until it stops

please let it stop 

life shows me the way but i continue on my own

forgetting and remembering

perceiving and conceiving

is there nothing for me in this place?

take my hand and guide me i beg

but there's only one there

the one i run from

staring at me waiting for me to move.

God help me

 

 

 

[99th_monkey]

"Our Lady Of Electric Light"

Clutch
 

They close the curtain
To hide from the dawn
The Rock-Ola's fire
Burns on and on

Have no fear the dark of night
She walks before us, our lady of electric lights

She enters the bar room
And lifts her veil
With a voice like running water
She tells them her tale

The patrons all break down at the sight
Standing in the presence of our lady of electric lights

Tiny plastic sabers
Piled high to my knees
Though the war rages on
I still find no enemies

They draw back the curtain
Are blinded by the dawn
And the shining Rock-Ola
Spins on and on

Now I know I can no longer fight
And I run into the arms of our lady of electric lights
Now I know I can no longer fight
And I run into the arms of our lady of electric lights

 

[Natasha]

@99th_monkey There is a poetry thread in Consciousness forum started the other day by Piotr. Your stuff is very good, more people would see and read it if you posted on there too  

[99th_monkey]

thank you @Natasha

[99th_monkey]

A storm cloud all around me

every movement is a lightning bolt 

light, thunder, energy

all pulling away  from what is not the cloud

or so it seems

a dull light at the rim draws me near

pulling away from the center, 

i cry and scream.

so beautiful is the pain i cant look away

a lighthouse so bright shows me the way

the fruit are so big but have no juice.

a new day has come

 

[99th_monkey]

mind had relaxed for the couple of weeks

time was taken, love was lost and expressed.

sadness came for a visit and left

many visitors come to this house

the door is shut but never locked

and no one stays

except today

my friend of the day is that strapping young lad.

so quiet and deceitful

i buzz with envy and desire for what isn't here 

why wont he leave?

Why so quiet?

Just sitting. 

IN MY CHAIR!!!

how dare he.

i drink more wine and fall asleep

 

[99th_monkey]

Had a first real bad mind attack in a long while.  Has this massive empty, lonely just nasty feeling. like i was completely alone, no one "gets me" thoughts and all kinds of bull-shit. 

i dont know if it has to do with this things birthday being tomorrow, and back in "Mikes popular" days it was always been a big deal. 

party time

now its just another day (nothing new though been that way for a few years now)

But i think this business of keeping  my yap shut around  here may have taken its toll on the "ME". Its no secret the expressions are at a minimum here but they can get out. 

something knows deep inside that this is a normal attack. the loneliness thingy. The "ME" has felt lonely for a VERY long time. nice comfy that one is. Usually leads to doing something stupid, like drinking alot working on the cars, going to the bar, finding some thingy to flirt with, and get in trouble, distractions like that. 

So its a little different now. Little older little wiser. Help comes, theres no need to go out and looking for distractions anymore. (theres enough here already)

Me thinks a trip to the lake is in order for this old soul.

much love!

[99th_monkey]

eeeehhhhh i fucked it up nevermind

Edited June 10, 2016 by 99th_monkey
imma dope

[Natasha]

Happy Bithday, @99th_monkey !! 

 

[99th_monkey]

hardy har har, thanks @Natasha, your lucky i like you lol

[99th_monkey]

 

[abrakamowse]

@99th_monkey  Did you try listening to your inner voice?