Confident, but also very shy sometimes

[Jonson]

Here's something that I wanted to talk about. 

The thing is that I often feel weird when I go to a party, an event or when I have to talk to some girls that i do or do not know. 

But, at school, for example I'm super confident and I can talk to anyone (i'm the most confident in my class, i'm also very funny) . Maybe because i already know them well. They understand me well and i understand them too, so we have a very cool chemistry between us. I love my classmates. 

It feels like my confidence changes so much, depending on the environment and the people. 

For example : I was a bit drunk the other night and went to a club with two friends of mine, i met a girl and i even danced with her. It was ok, but then today I met her again and (she probably expected me to be charismatic and cool like i was in the club) . I don't know why but my confidence level dropped af and i could barely say something, it was awkward.

I also noticed that when I feel awkward, speaking becomes very hard.  It feels like my mouth-muscles are very tensed and I have a very bad pronunciation. 

The reason may also be that i'm tired.

I also feel shitty when i have to talk to people who i'm not compatible with. 

Right now i'm at a techno party, sitting in a corner lol :)) 

I don't feel bad, just tired and not understood. 

 Thanks in advance for your patience ???? 

Hope you have an amazing day

 

. 

Edited February 17, 2018 by Jonson

[Shin]

Do you fap, watch porn ?

[NoSelfSelf]

@Jonson Because you want to prove your worth to someone hey girl im cool is not being cool,do you try to impress your classmates i think you dont...

[Jonson]

@Shin   yes i do, like ... daily, i was on  nofap for 14 days until a week ago though, it was cool

@NoSelfSelf

45 minutes ago, Shin said:

 

[aurum]

10 hours ago, Jonson said:

It feels like my confidence changes so much, depending on the environment and the people. 

Yes, that's how 99% of people live their life. Their confidence depends on the environment around them.

One of the reasons I loved doing cold approach pickup was that it forces you to detach from that. You have to be able to go to a brand new city, to a venue you've never been, sober, with no friends, girls rejecting you and still walk around like you own the place.

It's serious emotional warfare.

Ultimately, what I've come to believe at this point in my life though is that confidence doesn't come from you. It comes from being connected to your spiritual essence. That part of you that's eternal, unchanging and knows none of this is that serious.

If you don't meditate, get on that asap. It will massively help with this.

[egoeimai]

@Jonson it okay, all things u described are cool and very normal. Don't try to change them, embrace them. 

[Staples]

That temperament is not unreasonable. It's okay to not be totally open to strangers you know.

Find good advice that will help you not feel as uncomfortable as you feel now. Don't feel like you need to change your behaviour, but try and improve how you react emotionally to social situations.

[Leightonm]

You seem very emotionally intelligent. You're aware of your emotions as they arise, and analyzing them. You understand yourself. It's not that important for others to understand you imo. 

You should have a laugh at the way you operate as an organism. It's interesting and beautiful. 

☮️