Trip Report: LSD

[Alexandru]

Dosage: ± 350 µg

Trip Report:

 A thought crossed my mind that I should do some LSD, and this is what I did. I have done psychedelics before on multiple occasions, every time by my self without any trip sitters, always in a safe environment and in I`ve had some juicy insights about life from all perspectives which really helped me to grow a lot as a human being. Everything felt like I am blessed and that I have my "angel" next to me, my dark mind being cleared all the time by a form of deep wisdom on a level of intensity that I almost cried sometimes. 

 This trip was the best and the worse so far. It was the best because I felt like I have reached another level of understanding and I have seen the "unknown" or better said, I had an idea about what is the potential of these drugs and where they can take you. For the first time I felt like everything was collapsing around me in terms of beliefs. I couldn`t grasp the idea that there are so many things which are hidden in the dark that I don`t know about, and that there is a completely new territory, something which is too complex and advanced to be understood by my small naïve mind.  I then started to recall some of  Leo`s videos such as "brains do not exist" and "life is a dream" and this is when things got "bad". I fully acknowledge that even though it makes perfect sense what Leo says, I couldn`t get it and then I started to become very curious because I wanted to understand, to feel and to fully integrate these ideas. My curiosity turned out to be very threatening for my own existence because I kept saying to my mind "you have to die" and this is when I got scarred. I know in theory that the ego has to die, therefore your whole existence feels threatened, but it felt so different for me in that moment. I thought that I am going crazy and I was very confused to the point that I started to conduct some research on the internet about enlightenment and what this "you have to die" really means. My research hasn`t been very successful because I kept going from a website to another from an idea to another and then things got really scary. I felt like every website and idea was meant to be there for me and that with the use of psychedelics I am somehow given a key which allows me to have access to all this information. By the time I looked at all these websites and ideas, the effects of LSD were diminishing, hence my "suicidal thoughts" were vanishing as well. 

  Right now, I feel like this experience has given a good kick to my Ego, but in the same time I feel like my lack of knowledge could`ve killed me because somehow I misunderstood what "death" really means. For a moment I believed that I physically need to kill myself to escape this reality and that that was the only way. 

Key learnings:

• Do not underestimate the power of psychedelics;
• Life is unpredictable and as much as you think in are in control, sometimes, is just the way it is.
• Do more research before tripping again. Find out more about Ego death (curiosity killed the cat).

 

Edited February 14, 2018 by Alexandru

[Nahm]

@Alexandru Take ownership of your ‘suicidal thinking’ so you can then realize it for what it is, and let it go. No one is talking about physical suicide but you. One the last mindfucks, is that it is a dream, and psychedelics are in the dream, waiting  until you’re ready to let go of the delusion. It’s a pradox, without direct experience, just like everything else. It initially appears that reality is real, or you, and psychedelics are just drugs which cause hallucinations. LMAO. Paradigms are funny. 

You could justifiably say, when I am truly ready to experience my source directly, that’s why I put the psychedelics here. Takes balls to die though. Great progress. 

 

[Alexandru]

@Nahm

2 hours ago, Nahm said:

You could justifiably say, when I am truly ready to experience my source directly, that’s why I put the psychedelics here. Takes balls to die though. Great progress. 

 

Great advice, thanks! Hopefully in the future I won't hesitate and I`ll let go of all resistance so I can experience the source :).

[Nahm]

@Alexandru Thank you. Enjoy the great reveal as it unfolds! You only get to go through it once, so precious!

[Vingger]

You waste the trip on that cycle, however this experiences make you mature,,

now you learned how your ego fools you with thoughts, next time it won't be so easy,

you want experience truth so do this research before you start

[Alexandru]

@Vingger

1 hour ago, Vingger said:

You waste the trip on that cycle, however this experiences make you mature,,

 

What do you mean by that? Can you be more explicit when you say "that cycle", please?

[Vingger]

1 hour ago, Alexandru said:

@Vingger

What do you mean by that? Can you be more explicit when you say "that cycle", please?

By identifying with that patterns of thoughts or contemplating certain low vibrational state, 

Quote

 I couldn`t grasp the idea that there are so many things which are hidden in the dark that I don`t know about

Meditate on this, If the truth is true, it must be present here and now

Quote

Nothing is hidden

 

Edited February 14, 2018 by Vingger

[Alexandru]

@Vingger

It makes more sense now. Thanks a lot!