My thoughts and reflections into my own projections

[MisterMan]

One of the video's Leo released recently was about getting triggered by trying to show other people what they are doing wrong. Or more accurately what you think they are doing wrong. 

I should add that I think there is a lot of merit in the allowing of getting carried away objectively with your own illusions to properly understand them and then to let go. Other wise how do you know what you are holding onto to let go of?  

Personally speaking It couldn't have been a better topic for me. It is something i have been doingn for quite a while, and i was really struggling with it even though i still knew somewhere it was not the best approach to life as i know it, as i feel it.

This is a particular insight i saw into what i thought was the cause of this persons poor actions and treatment of others.
This person was a gay man that was a close friend to my partner but his behaviour was just not on. They lived together, he helped her out of an abusive relationship where he practically helped her heal. Then he became mentally abusive as she didn't meet his standards even though she would constantly stress of not wanting to upset him.

However, if she did anything that he thought was offensive, He would hark on  "How dare you!. You're not a good person, i mean otherwise you wouldn't say or do that right?"

Knowing full well her psychological profile and exploiting her to be more effective.

"after everything i've done for you etc.."    Then he would proceed with the intention to offend and upset. He wanted her to behave a certain way and anything less would have his complete and utter attention as he would let you know! Which was allll the time.

I won't say more than that, it was an abusive relationship which she has told me she wasn't the first one he has pushed away with this behavior, it's a cycle at this point and he is 40.

So upon seeing that. I started to look into why he does that and where it comes from?

It doesn't take a genius to figure that out seeing how even now there is still a large and vocal number of people opposing homosexuality. At it's core it about being different, so this extends to the majority of the population. Myself included, which i will get to.

But I digress, you begin to see the same behaviors enacted by the victims. 

People who have a problem with homosexuality or any one different for that matter feel as if they are under threat. That their existence is a threat to who they are! And they react angrily and say things like.

"it's not normal"

"You should be the like that! Be like this! Be how i want you to be"

He took on the very same behaviours he himself was victim too!

"Don't be like this! I'm offended! Be how i want you to be or i will make you suffer!" 

Now whenever i get upset at someone that sounds real familiar. They didn't abide by my personal standards regardless of how right or wrong i am. Wether i act or not is irrelevant as the intention inward is always spiteful, angry at them for being like that to me. I mean just be the way i want you to be so i can feel good about myself. If not it's your fault right?

I was a victim of bullying as i had a large assortment of ticks and sounds, weird faces, neck stretching, groans, blinks, face jerks while moaning.
It was hard. But i can see that how i was treated.  The interpretations of the experiences i have had have created my own set of filters i apply to life.

And with the the help those filters I project exactly the the same reaction i accused him of. 

Beautiful, I should start my own forum and charge a million dollars and people would pay. Bloody brilliant! Too good for this game! Next! 

 So now that i know a part of the illusion of the self i can begin the real work. Embrace the parts i don't have the courage to accept  and stop passing them onto others as a diversion. Being afraid because the judgements i place on others i also place on myself.  

I can now kill it, with love. Kill me with love. 






 

 

 

 

Edited February 14, 2018 by MisterMan

[How to be wise]

@MisterMan Confusion is the only suffering. If you were clear, you wouldn’t have a problem with anything. Try writing down some of the problems you have and observing them in your mind for a while. This is the bridge that will lead from confusion to clear mindedness. 

[MisterMan]

 

@How to be wise Confusion? Damn it. I was going for insightful.  

One last question, as this post was an extension of the work you suggested to me. I find myself when doing this work hanging myself on whatever new insights i may have found. How can you clear your mind when your mind looks for dependance on anything? Especially insights. 

Thank you.

Edited February 19, 2018 by MisterMan

[How to be wise]

@MisterMan don’t clear anything. If you’re mind shows you some insights observe them and learn from them until they leave you, not the other way round. 

Remember, when you’re observing your problems, focus on those images and videos in your mind that would normally cause you so much suffering. Let those negative emotions come up as you observe. If you do this long enough, you will receive insights that will quite literally blow your mind. After a while, watching those images and videos will be very pleasant. Why? Because all the thoughts that made you hate that situation will be clarified and understood as not being true. The best thing about this is, if that situation you’re observing happens to you in real life, you will not suffer any emotional pain. You will have completely resolved that situation. This is how you get true emotional mastery. 

[Faceless]

1 hour ago, How to be wise said:

Remember, when you’re observing your problems

There are only ‘thoughts’ which u call problems. The more the entity ‘the you’ identifies these problems as being seperate from the entity itself then more conflict is to come. Where there is division there is inevitably contradiction, confusion, and conflict. 

Maybe ask yourself is there actually a division between me and my thoughts or are there just thoughts in which I am a manifestation of.

worth a try ?

[dorg]

6 hours ago, Faceless said:

There are only ‘thoughts’ which u call problems. The more the entity ‘the you’ identifies these problems as being seperate from the entity itself then more conflict is to come. Where there is division there is inevitably contradiction, confusion, and conflict. 

Maybe ask yourself is there actually a division between me and my thoughts or are there just thoughts in which I am a manifestation of.

@Faceless Thank you for these words of wisdom.

[Faceless]

@dorg ??Thank you