Ego's toddler tantrums?

[perlita]

I've noticed that my ego has been acting up lately since my meditation practice got more consistent. Right after a very good session the other day I was overtaken by pretty powerful negative emotions (about my own ambitions and goals, so pure ego) and had a screaming tantrum pretty much like my 2 year old daughter.  To the point that I couldn't "observe it", I became completely unconscious. What the hell is it? Does it have anything to do with meditation? 

Edited February 13, 2018 by perlita

[snowleopard]

@perlita  Shadow stuff coming into the light, pleading to be set free. The more light, the more it will be exposed. Resistance is futile. Who is that 'toddler'? That hidden self-identity? Investigate ... Let it be heard ... Then it can be kissed goodbye.

[Nahm]

@perlita It hurts when we become aware of it, but then the awareness later fills us with love. Try to think of anger and even the temp departure of mindfulness as really great, actually, because that is your proof you’re doing the work, that’s the proof you’re becoming more aware. It is a process and it is worth it. Very important not to go back and beat up on yourself too. Huge importance. The anger, or blow out, served it’s purpose. Don’t relive it and beat up on yourself. That has to be clearly seen as unnecessary suffering. You are as deserving and your worth is no less than everyone else. 

Also, might seem counterintuitive because we sometimes culturally equate crying / sadness to “bad” emotions, but, I suggest, cry every chance you get. It’s purifying expodited. Google the benefits of crying. ALl kinds of mental and physical benefits, and it speeds up the overall “path” too. 

And posting it here, open and honest, actively looking into it, being focused on resolving it, I hope you’re feeling good about that. You should.