What to do in dark night of the soul?

[nightrider1435]

4 hours ago, Buba said:

Ok. I feel incomplete because I have not got enlightened yet. But I dont want to feel like that. What if I never get enlightened, like millions of people in this journey. My life then will be a misery. But I want to enjoy the life. To marry. To have kids.

@Buba You said that you don't want enlightenment yet here you're saying you feel incomplete, what do you want? The mediation is doing its thing, showing you what your not, and its no walk in the park.

 

On 2/13/2018 at 9:09 PM, Buba said:

I meditated for several months and got depersonalization/derealization. I was seeing around through a tunnel. As If I was two - one who talks, walks and one who observes. I did not like this. Has it ever happened to you? Do enlightened people see around like this?

 You have to go find yourself. Mediation will shine light on this. Are you living a life you want to live? You can enjoy life, marry, have kids, you can have all of that. Its all here right now. 

[Martin123]

9 hours ago, Buba said:

The problem is the idea enlightenment became an obsession. I think about every second. This is not healthy.

I understand. And you´re quite right on that.
However the fact that you dont like being obsessed with enlightenment and being aware of self-destructive patterns doesn´t stop you from nurturing honoring respecting and loving the one who is going through all this.

May you be blessed with love and peace. <3

[Buba]

So after dark night of the soul I quit meditation. The Dark Night alleviated but did not disappear. 2 months ago I resumed meditation, but instead of 20 minutes I started doing it 8 minutes, with hope to avoid dark night. But it showed up again. Cant sleep, eat properly, as if my heart wants to stop, tremendous fear, confusion and etc. I never do self-inquiry, only meditation, total relaxation and living in the now. How do you go to work and function in dark night?

Is there a phase in spiritual path when this horror is left behind? I did not start to meditate to find the Truth. I just wanted to be happy, because I suffered from depression and obsessive compulsive disorder, borderline personality disorder for more than 12 years. The only reason which pushes me forward in spiritual path despite dark night is I am suffering anyway even before starting this journey.

[YaMayka]

I found this tips interesting and quite practical, so I will share with you in case you might think so too:

 

https://kirantrace.com/blog/the-abyss-of-emptiness/

[cetus]

@Buba Sounds like you could have latent fears hidden in your subconscious. Have you ever considered seeing a hypnotist?

[Buba]

1 minute ago, cetus56 said:

@Buba Sounds like you could have latent fears hidden in your subconscious. Have you ever considered seeing a hypnotist?

I may consider it. I thought it was dark night which happens to all seekers.

[cetus]

3 minutes ago, Buba said:

I thought it was dark night which happens to all seekers.

@Buba Yes to some extent but not usually to this degree or for this long. And you say it happens after only 8 min. of meditation.

[Buba]

15 minutes ago, cetus56 said:

@Buba Yes to some extent but not usually to this degree or for this long. And you say it happens after only 8 min. of meditation.

Yes. 8 minutes of meditation, or total relaxation. And I start not to feel like myself, I start to disappear and feel fear.

[cetus]

1 minute ago, Buba said:

, I start to disappear and feel fear.

@Buba Dark night of the soul is only a label for the fear that the imaginary ego creates. Both are illusions. When you say "I start to disappear" what you are really refering to is trancending the illusion of the ego.

3 hours ago, Buba said:

I did not start to meditate to find the Truth. I just wanted to be happy

Happiness is also an illusion of the ego. There is only truth-liberation from the illusion that ego creates.

[Barry J]

20 minutes ago, Buba said:

Yes. 8 minutes of meditation, or total relaxation. And I start not to feel like myself, I start to disappear and feel fear.

Man up. Take the plunge. Do it. Or stop meditating and go back to your normal life

[Buba]

6 minutes ago, cetus56 said:

@Buba Dark night of the soul is only a label for the fear that the imaginary ego creates. Both are illusions. When you say "I start to disappear" what you are really refering to is trancending the illusion of the ego.

But during this phase some people commit suicide.

Quote

Happiness is also an illusion of the ego. There is only truth-liberation from the illusion that ego creates.

This is depressive

[cetus]

Just now, Buba said:

This is depressive

That's the ego!!!

[Buba]

2 minutes ago, Barry J said:

Man up. Take the plunge. Do it. Or stop meditating and go back to your normal life

I am afraid of becoming mentally crippled.

3 minutes ago, cetus56 said:

That's the ego!!!

Why is meditation recommended as a practice to be happy?

[cetus]

@Buba Understand this is only an internet forum so don't take anything said here as being professional advise. If you think you may need professional advise please see a professional.

[cetus]

11 minutes ago, Buba said:

Why is meditation recommended as a practice to be happy?

@Buba Who told you that? If anything maybe contentment but contentment comes from freedom from the ego's enslavement. This is why we meditate. Liberation.

[Buba]

8 minutes ago, cetus56 said:

@Buba Understand this is only an internet forum so don't take anything said here as being professional advise. If you think you may need professional advise please see a professional.

I have been seeing psychotherapists and taking antidepressants for more than 5 years. And they did not work. 

 

6 minutes ago, cetus56 said:

@Buba Who told you that? 

News

[cetus]

4 minutes ago, Buba said:

I have been seeing psychotherapists and taking antidepressants for more than 5 years. And they did not work

@Buba Have you talked to them about this? Meditation that is. 

[Buba]

3 minutes ago, cetus56 said:

@Buba Have you talked to them about this? Meditation that is. 

Yes I have. I told them my brain still makes me depressed despite there is no reason for depression. My brain is irrational and does not care arguments. That is why I decided not to think instead of thinking right. Thinking right did not help me.

[Buba]

20 minutes ago, cetus56 said:

@Buba Who told you that? If anything maybe contentment but contentment comes from freedom from the ego's enslavement. This is why we meditate. Liberation.

I read comments of people who become immensely depressed after finding truth.

[cetus]

1 minute ago, Buba said:

That is why I decided not to think instead of thinking right. Thinking right did not help me.

There is no right way to think. That is illusion also. And believe me, there are plenty of ppl walking around believing they are thinking right and deeply buried in their illusion of themselves.