who am i?

[Patang]

ok, i'll tell you who i am, but it's a secret, not one should not know about it. remember, don't tell anyone.

here it is.... i am an agent doing my stuff on behalf of the enlightenment. my job is to recruit human beings on their way to enlightenment, and speed up the process a bit. this is my shift now, and this is what i do.

the reason for doing that is because of a clash between two human civilizations is about to happen. all the enlightened beings will be considered as mutants, and from then all hell break loose.

so, behave yourself and follow me to back to enlightenment.

p.s. leo is an agent too.... and so are all the rest of known enlightened human beings except maybe a few. i use leo's forums as a platform, a recruitment bureau for candidates ready for a journey back to enlightenment (just don't tell leo).

ok, I've already said too much.

Edited February 12, 2018 by Patang

[Patang]

follow...my...path...to...enlightenment 

[Joseph Maynor]

 

[Natasha]

@Mighty Mouse It's easy, repeat these words - Abracadabra PATANG!! - and you are enlightened! 

Edited February 11, 2018 by Natasha

[Patang]

1 minute ago, Mighty Mouse said:

I don't get it... I don't feel like a mutant... can you teach me how to become one?

you, on this side, are not feeling mutant and not to be considered as one just yet, but soon you will be. just follow...my...path...to...enlightenment 

[Patang]

 but back to business... soon you will be considered as a mutant, before all hell break loose. so, you're not safe, harry up... and follow...my...path...to...enlightenment 

[Vingger]

All what you saying is true, even this mutant called Leo raped me several times and get infected with his shining crazy enlightened powers

my grandmother can't walk anymore

[Patang]

6 minutes ago, Vingger said:

All what you saying is true, even this mutant called Leo raped me several times and get infected with his shining crazy enlightened powers

my grandmother can't walk anymore

that was a GOOD laugh, thank you. live long and prosper

 

[Heart of Space]

I'll follow your path as long as you leave a trail of gram rocks of coke and naked hookers like Hansel and Gretel.  I'll be short on your tail to enlightenment.

[Nahm]

@Patang but how can we be sure you’re not a double agent? I followed a double once and was convinced I was enlighetend! @Heart of Space There’s always going to be coke and whores on the path, you don’t have to request it anymore, it’s just a given. I suspect @Mighty Mouse has been triple agent all along. Just a heads up. 

[Patang]

some gets it ahhh.... two recruits so far, maybe three and counting...

@Nahm i really can be a double agent, this is why you have to check your enlightenment status from time to time.
@Heart of Space You get all the loot thrown along the enlightenment path.

[Dodo]

I was a mutant before, now I realised I'm not that! Neti neti hellsyeah

[Patang]

so, is that all? a handful of human beings as candidates? i have patience, but the question is, do you have patience after all you've been told?

ok ... if i've already taken off my camouflage uniform, and now that I've been exposed, I'll tell you the rest.

to be more precise, i am a two star general in the enlightened army, who serves in the human resources department, recruitment section. the situation is desperate, and i, in person, enlisted to recruit candidates for a journey back to enlightenment.

this is my very first shift, i registered to leo's forums and start mingling with some of you. at first in a clumsy way, but soon my moves became smooth and harmonic while i hovers effortlessly, except for a few minor lapses, dancing with anyone who cares to make a step forward. some of you started to dance among yourselves.

as for my human condition status, i just broke my ankle of the left leg last week, when my motorcycle fell on it, that was after i registered to the forums  and just before i was about to move to a distant place and change my life environment, to start in new normal human job. my ankle was plastered, and i can't make the move just yet. now, i have all the time in the world, to continue recruiting human beings.

so, am i enjoying myself? it's depends. some times i'm sick of pure boredom, using the same enlightenment cliche labels, and getting over and over again, the same dreamers crap, but otherwise, i'm fine. thanks for caring.

If you're looking for proof of all this, it is found in the way i conducted. it is all in black pixels floating on whitish background, stored inside a huge computer data storage. so, go and see for yourself. leo does not need proof, since he serves as an agent himself (as mentioned earlier). he can't tell you otherwise, because no one would believe him. this story my friends can't be contradicted, for the key lies in the hand of one who can't use it. it is a perfect paradox.

so, i've already started a new recruit cycle, hopefully, it will harvests more recruits next time.

Edited February 14, 2018 by Patang