How much can someone with Asperger's Syndrome improve their game?

[Hardkill]

I know I keep bringing this problem up regarding my social and seduction skills with women, but I still keep thinking about this problem and I am still not confident and hopeful enough about my ability to improve significantly with women and even people in general. Sure, I might be able to get a few lays here and there if I consistently cold approached about 30-40 girls a week. Yeah, I probably would be able to find a woman would be mediocre to me if I just decided to "settle." Hell, to be honest, there have been a few times in my life where I was given the opportunity to be in a relationship with a girl who I was not physically attracted to. However, not only do I not want to settle for someone who would be so-so to me, but I am aware of how big of a mistake that would be if I did that. Also, I am not sure that I ever be able to be gain enough skill to the point where I will be able to keep a woman I am truly attracted to for long.  

I know that many dating coaches have mentioned that they have helped a number of clients who have Asperger's or Autism succeed with women, albeit took them longer to achieve than the average person. However, I don't always trust these coaches because there's always a good chance that they could be lying to people like me just as a used car salesman would say just about anything to a naive customer to make a sale. In fact, I've become increasingly skeptical about what most PUA coaches and dating experts say because I've feel like I've tried all kinds of advice out there with all sorts of girls in all types of venues and hardly any of it has worked, in my opinion. 

Plus, I am concerned about my ability to read body language, facial expressions, and tonality properly. I am concerned that I may make a girl feel uncomfortable to the point where she trying to signal to me to leave, but I am not taking that hint and so I end up inadvertently harassing her. I used to believe that I finally got it down to the average person's level. However, there have been a few times where I've gotten kicked out of bars, malls, and gyms because I somehow made some of the girls in each of those places feel too uncomfortable around me and never got the hint from any of them beforehand that I was doing so. For example, the manager of my previous gym that I got kicked out of told me what happened when they a couple of complaints about my approaches towards certain women and said that I made them somehow uncomfortable. I got kicked out of a bar one time because I was called out for making a bartender uncomfortable by staring at her. I got kicked out of a mall before because the security said that they received a few complaints from women who claimed that I harassed even when I being very respectful to each of the women there and never followed them when they walked away from me. I was never even told by any of the women themselves at the mall beforehand to leave them alone or "fuck off". 

So, if anyone could please give a brutally honest opinion about my prospects in improvement my sex, dating, and social life I would appreciate it. I am trying to be realistic and don't want to needlessly raise my hopes up. 

[Girzo]

I have a four step formula to ramp up your skills to ungodly levels. It's a secret so powerful, that it could be missused in the wrong hands. It goes like this:

1. Stop making totally ridiculous threads on Actualized.org and distracting yourself.
2. Start taking action and talk to girls.
3. !!!MOST IMPORTANT!!! Fucking analyze your mistakes!
   • Ask yourself what you've done well.
   • What not so well.
   • What can you do better.
   • And try to avoid your mistakes next time!
   • That's how you learn, there's no other way. To know how to swim you need to get in water. No coaching in front of computer will ever show you how it feels to swim.
   • Do this check-up after you finnish every day you do game.
   • Do this every time until you feel you don't need it anymore. Like a training wheels in the bike.
4. REPEAT STEPS FROM 2. TO 4.

If you will still insist that nothing works for you and you have tried everything, then I have got a thing for you that you haven't tried yet. Do a pick-up retreat. Go on a 10 day vacation to some big city and game all day. You will be on a whole another level after that. You can watch Leo's video on doing solo-retreats to prepare for that correctly.

Basically every technique used to progress on a spiritual journey can help with learning other skills when applied correctly.

Back to your question, I don't know anyone with autism, but my best friend has Tourette's and has a girlfriend, so I don't see how that could interfere.

[Wad Morld]

Hi, I consider myself to be in the autistic spectrum. I have no experience with women so don't take me as an authority, but i want to share what i have learnt so far:
First of all, cold approach is not a good way to meet women. Sure, it might get you used to talking to women and improve a little your skills, but it's extremely straining and requires a lot of time and energy, not to mention that the success rate is very low (depending on how attractive you are). You also run into many problems such as being seen as a weirdo and running out of women in your town. It actually is weird, no one does it, normal people don't approach women randomly like that, at least as far as i know.

The truth is that women choose men (this is what some of the top players will tell you, not pua) and they choose you based on several factors like looks, status and their personal preferences (some women like intellectual men, some women  like men with a perfect ass, some women like men with hairy chest). If a woman likes you she will let you know by giving you eye contact, then you can approach her and have very low chance of rejection. That saves you all the time and energy that you would have used to cold approach. By the way, the woman that "says yes" afer you cold approach 50 other women, was already choosing you.

From an evolutionary standpoint, women want a man with power who can protect them. Looks and status are a manifestation of that power.

Looks = height, muscles, face, your style

Status = your job, your car, your social circle, your skills, your money

I consider looks to be a part of status: they combine together in giving a particular perception of yourself. Everything contributes to this perception: looks, status, the way you walk, the way you speak, your smell, your hygiene, your general knowledge, your possessions, your life experiences, the quality of your clothes, your ambitions, your fears, your weaknesses your strengths, the tidiness of your bedroom. Then you have the personal preferences and you can't do anything about that. Some women just don't like Brad Pitt. Again, women choose.

In other words you must think like a businessman and make yourself as perfect as you can.

You should also lie a little, to hide your weaknesses (NEVER reveal your weaknesses) and to make her feel important (with compliments that you don't necessarily feel). I stress this because some aspies tend to be honest and hate lying. Truth and honesty must not be important for you in this case. What's important is getting what you want (the woman).

 

Now let's get to the Asperger part of the issue.

I identify two main components that stem from being in the autistic spectrum and those are:

- Lack of skills (social, physical of whatever)

- Wanting to life a particular lifestyle (loner or introvert, for example)

We aspies need to learn scientifically what neurotypicals learn instinctively.

Neurotypicals are like sponges, meaning that they absorbe whatever they experience. We don't, therefore we have to study to compensate.

Observe people, try to see how they move, how fast they walk, how they act with their partner, what words they use, how they dress, what kind of physical contact they have and how long it lasts, stuff like that. You need to study all these things in a conscious way and try to understand the reason behind these behaviours. The best thing to do would be to get a mentor and ask him to show you and make you practice all these things. It could be a parent, a friend, or someone on the Internet (it's not optimal though). Once you'll learn all these skills, they might start to make sense to you and they'll become easier for you to perform, just like playing a musical instrument: humans are not born musicians, but with practice we can do wonders.

You can always improve, but it depends on how much you actually want to: do you like women? do you like physical contact? do you see yourself in a relationship? do you like people? because all these things will impact your results. I realized that i have some of these issues, my lifestyle is not compatible with women, so maybe i'm better off alone, at least for now. The best thing would be to find a woman that suit my lifestyle, but that would be extremely rare.

If you do things the right way you will always improve. My final advice is to just talk to a normal person in real life (father, friend, relative, therapist), they are much more likely to be more successfull with women than many PUAs on the internet.

Again, i have little to no experience with women so don't take my advice too seriously.

Hope this helps, cheers

 

 

 

 

[Spiral]

I would advise you ask someone with Aspergers who obtained great abilities with the ladies. 

Looking at getting nice posture and walk technique and go for the bad boy kind style is probably the most suitable for you. Picking topic and reacting accordingly to her answers is probably the tricky thing. So being neglectful can come in hand. I mean you don’t have to answer her questions and instead talk about something else. 

Maybe have a friend you can practice on and she’ll tell you what you did wrong.

 

[Hardkill]

7 hours ago, Girzo said:

I have a four step formula to ramp up your skills to ungodly levels. It's a secret so powerful, that it could be missused in the wrong hands. It goes like this:

1. Stop making totally ridiculous threads on Actualized.org and distracting yourself.
2. Start taking action and talk to girls.
3. !!!MOST IMPORTANT!!! Fucking analyze your mistakes!
   • Ask yourself what you've done well.
   • What not so well.
   • What can you do better.
   • And try to avoid your mistakes next time!
   • That's how you learn, there's no other way. To know how to swim you need to get in water. No coaching in front of computer will ever show you how it feels to swim.
   • Do this check-up after you finnish every day you do game.
   • Do this every time until you feel you don't need it anymore. Like a training wheels in the bike.
4. REPEAT STEPS FROM 2. TO 4.

If you will still insist that nothing works for you and you have tried everything, then I have got a thing for you that you haven't tried yet. Do a pick-up retreat. Go on a 10 day vacation to some big city and game all day. You will be on a whole another level after that. You can watch Leo's video on doing solo-retreats to prepare for that correctly.

Basically every technique used to progress on a spiritual journey can help with learning other skills when applied correctly.

Back to your question, I don't know anyone with autism, but my best friend has Tourette's and has a girlfriend, so I don't see how that could interfere.

I do agree that in general within any sort of skill, you still need to start taking consistent massive action with talking to girls and everything else you said in there, Girzo. However, having Asperger's or Autism can pose serious limitations on my ability to learn social skills. I am actually not sure anymore if I am really ready to cold approach women because now I don't know if I have enough basic social skills to practice effectively on women without getting into any trouble. What if I get reported for harassment even when I didn't mean to harass a girl all because I didn't properly read her non-verbal cues. 

Regarding Tourette's syndrome, that of course has always been considered as a social stigma, and can you make come off as being somewhat weird. However, I don't that that negatively effect's one's social, sex, and dating life as much as Asperger's because if someone with Tourette's syndrome knows how to be aware of other's people non-verbals like a normal person can and can act normal around others besides having the sporadic tics then he can still fit in with others if he works at it. He can just explain to new meet he meets that he has Tourette's and the vast majority of people will be very understanding of it. I actually knew someone in my undergrad years who had Tourette's syndrome. I first met him during my Freshman year and he seemed to be a very funny, confident, and cool guy even around a lot of other people in our dorm and elsewhere on campus. A couple of years later I coincidentally became his suite mate in a new dorm during my junior year, and he was still a very likable guy. He would often bring a group of regular guys and girls in his dorm to chat with. I didn't know that he actually had Tourette's syndrome until about a week after I began my junior year when he mentioned it to me and showed me the kind of twitches he tends to make on his face when it accidentally happens.

However, when someone like me has Asperger's they usually get judged by certain people for sometimes being too annoying even when we don't mean to and I just trying to have a good time or not what to do or say when a person looks bored or saying a joke that was uncalled for. 

[Hardkill]

3 hours ago, Spiral said:

I would advise you ask someone with Aspergers who obtained great abilities with the ladies. 

Looking at getting nice posture and walk technique and go for the bad boy kind style is probably the most suitable for you. Picking topic and reacting accordingly to her answers is probably the tricky thing. So being neglectful can come in hand. I mean you don’t have to answer her questions and instead talk about something else. 

Maybe have a friend you can practice on and she’ll tell you what you did wrong.

 

I've tried finding someone who is a reformed Aspie and learned how to overcome it especially when dealing with women, but I still have had no luck.

[Hardkill]

I wonder what Aurum and Leo would say about this.

[Hardkill]

Why haven’t Leo or any of the moderators answered here?

[Shroomdoctor]

@Hardkill

On 11.2.2018 at 1:59 PM, Girzo said:

1. Stop making totally ridiculous threads on Actualized.org and distracting yourself.

That is why.

[d0ornokey]

tylerrsd has aspergers 

[Hardkill]

8 hours ago, d0ornokey said:

tylerrsd has aspergers 

Really? Where did he mention that he was officially diagnosed with it?

[d0ornokey]

I think he mentions it in this video. After this, watch his long walk to freedom

Btw, It's not a question of whether a can or can't, because you can as long as you're a human being (malleable brain able to change its habits)

It's about whether you will put in the work 

[Hardkill]

On 2/14/2018 at 0:31 AM, d0ornokey said:

I think he mentions it in this video. After this, watch his long walk to freedom

Btw, It's not a question of whether a can or can't, because you can as long as you're a human being (malleable brain able to change its habits)

It's about whether you will put in the work 

Oh yeah, I saw this video already at least 3 times. Technically, he didn’t say that he has Aspergers. He said that he had major depression and a lack A LOT of social experience, as he has always been naturally more of an introvert. 

I’ve been trying to find someone here on this forum to tell me how to properly practice pickup as an Aspie, but so far I’ve had no such luck.

[Wad Morld]

Cold approach is bullshit. It doesn't make you better at attracting women. A woman either likes you or she doesn't. If she likes you, she will let you know. If you approach a woman that shows you signs of interest and you act not too weird, you should have 99% chances to get her.

What makes you more attractive is not the "experience of doing thousands of approaches", but it's your looks, your status, your social skills, your charisma, basically anything that shows that you are a man that can protect her.

The few times i went out partying i had some women sit next to my seat, or take my hands to dance. I didn't have to do or say anything to attract them, they already liked me because of the way i looked and carried myself.

You could approach a thousand a women and not get any result, because none of these women weren't choosing you, while i could just show up,  approach a girl that is choosing me and sleep with her.

So, give women something to choose.

There isn't a particular way that you have to practice "pickup". Being aspie you have to acquire the common sense, behaviours and social skills of normal people , you know, the people that you see everyday on the street, some of them get more women than pick up artists.

And i know that i shouldn't be giving advice if i don't get women, but that's because i have physical problems that make it hard for me to go out and issues about my sexuality. But this is the truth of the game that i learnt from the real players: women do the choosing.

 

 

[Girzo]

@Wad Morld Yes that true that man should choose a woman that chooses him too, but I think you go too far in putting accent on looks, status and charisma. There's still a lot to improve beside that, it's your confidence, sense of humour and being okay with sex, for example. 

You see, you have said "I went out partying" and nail the point here. @Hardkill 's weakness is that he is not getting enough exposure to women, that's what he needs to fix. Almost all of us who struggle with geting girlfriend need to fix.

Hey @Hardkill, if you really believe that Asperger is a problem, why won't you look out for a girl with this syndrome. She for sure wouldn't mind anything connected with that disorder, because she would be very similar to you.

16 hours ago, Hardkill said:

I’ve been trying to find someone here on this forum to tell me how to properly practice pickup as an Aspie, but so far I’ve had no such luck.

Personally I think there's no difference. I have never been diagnosed with Asperger, but I struggle with all the same things as you do. But good luck, maybe one day you will find your perfect piece of advice.

[Lynnel]

@Hardkill  I've thought this over quite a few times and autism/asperger seems to be on a "spiritual" level just a very low level of awareness. It feels like a lack of consciousness. I'd bet good money that psychedelics would help for those issues immensely.

+ Typical advice : do not shit where you eat - don't to pick up at the gym !!

 

[Hardkill]

9 hours ago, brovakhiin said:

@Wad Morld Oh dear. I smell the victimising in your posts from a mile away and it makes me sad. Also, honesty and vulnerability is actually more attractive that tryharding and faking, fyi. Shows you're confident in your self and dgaf

Not really sure why you're dropping these long, pretty posts when you yourself say you have next to no experience with women.

Cold approach is fantastic and will grow you in all areas of life

Not acting like a victim can be easier said than done. It's can very tricky to distinguished between what we can and cannot do. Even I still have trouble discerning what I am truly capable of. Hell, even Leo has declared that he has always been more pessimistic than optimistic to a degree. Your perception can be your reality to a degree; however, at the end of the day reality is reality whether you like it or not.

[Hardkill]

12 hours ago, brovakhiin said:

@Wad Morld Oh dear. I smell the victimising in your posts from a mile away and it makes me sad. Also, honesty and vulnerability is actually more attractive that tryharding and faking, fyi. Shows you're confident in your self and dgaf

Not really sure why you're dropping these long, pretty posts when you yourself say you have next to no experience with women.

Cold approach is fantastic and will grow you in all areas of life

Do u have Asperger's?

[Epiphany_Inspired]

@Hardkill I'm not going to tell you how to improve your "game" because I don't think women should be played or hunted, or whatever game refers to...but, I will try my best to help you... You deserve to hold out for somebody rad, just as you suggested

It does happen, so you have hope: I had an incredible boyfriend  (multi-year relationship) with asperger's... There were limitations, but it was awesome....  He had only experienced 2 other girlfriends his whole life/ he was in his 40's and he could only handle me (or any other humans), 2-3 days per week max...... Sure, there are usually some things to work through... Your new lady will need a willingness to take that adventure with you, let her know it's worth it

I also had a crush with asperger's that decide he couldn't date me because I was not on the spectrum...and he felt it would be too hard for me (he made this choice on my behalf, against our mutual desire)... I know I've done it, I could have handled the dificulties....make sure you don't close yourself off because you think aspergers will get in your way... Be truly open  

Anyway...The common thread with both of these guys was their incredible talent and inventiveness... Do you have a special skill? If so, that may "say" more than any lines , etc could ever... There are YouTube video's about looking vs staring, and you could figure out the suble expressions etc as you get to know someone that is willing to accept your awesome self.... Best wishes! 

[d0ornokey]

On 2/15/2018 at 10:04 PM, Hardkill said:

Technically, he didn’t say that he has Aspergers

He does say it though, I've heard it over 20x. I can't remember which videos though, I've watched nearly all of them 

Tyler had the same excuses you do now, just that he went balls deep regardless and came out victorious 

Post on the RSD forum, im sure they can point you to the right video 

Edited February 19, 2018 by d0ornokey