Nervousness/Anxiety when meeting strangers

[Shin]

9 minutes ago, Charlotte said:

I get you now. Thanks for clarifying that. I've taken another perspective on it... It's an illusion anyway! From now on, when I get into a social situation, I'm going to view these people as just an extension of myself, which they are. 

Ahah, if you do that, you'll gonna smile for no reason, and they'll start to think you're making fun of them  

Which will increase your anxiety ... 

Edited February 12, 2018 by Shin

[Charlotte]

2 minutes ago, Shin said:

Ahah, if you do that, you'll gonna smile for no reason, and they'll start to think you're making fun of them  

Which will increase your anxiety ... 

I smile for no reason anyway, nothing new there then ?

 

I'm also going to concentrate more on the breath, I'm starting to realize the power of the breath, something I've naively overlooked for many years, only now am I seeing the true power. 

This morning, I noticed a stranded car with passenger stuck in the snow, I pulled over and offered help, she claimed a highways officer had already tried to push the car out with no luck, "I'll try" I said, I focused on my breath and pushed the car back out onto the road. Afterwards I noticed my heartbeat had risen quite significantly and I was shaking from the adrenaline, I took deep, slow mindful breaths and slowly returned to a place of calm. I'm learning 

[Shin]

38 minutes ago, Charlotte said:

I smile for no reason anyway, nothing new there then ?

 

I'm also going to concentrate more on the breath, I'm starting to realize the power of the breath, something I've naively overlooked for many years, only now am I seeing the true power. 

This morning, I noticed a stranded car with passenger stuck in the snow, I pulled over and offered help, she claimed a highways officer had already tried to push the car out with no luck, "I'll try" I said, I focused on my breath and pushed the car back out onto the road. Afterwards I noticed my heartbeat had risen quite significantly and I was shaking from the adrenaline, I took deep, slow mindful breaths and slowly returned to a place of calm. I'm learning 

Ohhhhhhhh

Now I know how you look ...

 

 

@Charlotte Better not fuck with you, relatively and literally lol

@Charlotte I need proofs now ... 

Edited February 12, 2018 by Shin

[Charlotte]

9 minutes ago, Shin said:

Ohhhhhhhh

Now I know how you look ...

 

No it's definitely more on the lines of...

 

[Charlotte]

Hahaha only joking ???

[Hardkill]

On 2/12/2018 at 2:02 AM, Charlotte said:

Hahaha only joking ???

Do you have swag?

[Charlotte]

On 18/02/2018 at 1:14 AM, Hardkill said:

Do you have swag?

What do you mean? 

[John Iverson]

On 2/11/2018 at 5:54 AM, Charlotte said:

Today, I met my partner's friends for the first time. I watched my reactions closely...

*Sweaty palms

*Ripping bits of tissue up whilst sitting in company

*Shaking a leg

*Faster heartbeat

*Forgetting what I'm saying, not being aware of what I'm saying and talking to fast

Your probably thinking "This is normal" , thing is, why is it we get nervous when meeting strangers? Is it the thoughts we are having? I don't like my reactions to be honest, I don't feel calm and grounded and to me, it's a type of suffering, emotionally drained by the end of it.

I would love to be able to take control of this issue.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated ❤️

Let go that thought and just don't identify..

[Ether]

On 11/02/2018 at 4:39 AM, Charlotte said:

Sorry, self image. 

Yeah, all that time.

Thank you for the link 

congrats, go and check Noah Elkrief's video on social anxiety, it might help you

[Charlotte]

@John Iverson @Ether Cheers dude's ?♥️

[John Iverson]

5 hours ago, Charlotte said:

@John Iverson @Ether Cheers dude's ?♥️

Cheeeeers ???????????!!!! HAHAHAHA

[Charlotte]

7 hours ago, John Iverson said:

Cheeeeers ???????????!!!! HAHAHAHA

Typical British thank you 

[Guest Quanty]

Learn to be a superconductor, focus 100% on your breath and yourself. 

[Buddha Jackson]

@Charlotte Yes! Essentially we are all just one big family there is nothing to be anxious of when we see other people that way!

[Charlotte]

Thanks for replying guys. 

I melted my anxiety away 

5 hours ago, Buddha Jackson said:

@Charlotte Yes! Essentially we are all just one big family there is nothing to be anxious of when we see other people that way!

Lovely comment ❤️

[John Iverson]

3 hours ago, Charlotte said:

Thanks for replying guys. 

I melted my anxiety away 

Lovely comment ❤️

For you,  i will be Glad to reply

[Charlotte]

@John Iverson ❤️ Much love little one ❤️

[Space]

On 10/02/2018 at 9:54 PM, Charlotte said:

Today, I met my partner's friends for the first time. I watched my reactions closely...

*Sweaty palms

*Ripping bits of tissue up whilst sitting in company

*Shaking a leg

*Faster heartbeat

*Forgetting what I'm saying, not being aware of what I'm saying and talking to fast

Your probably thinking "This is normal" , thing is, why is it we get nervous when meeting strangers? Is it the thoughts we are having? I don't like my reactions to be honest, I don't feel calm and grounded and to me, it's a type of suffering, emotionally drained by the end of it.

I would love to be able to take control of this issue.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated ❤️

Only way to overcome social anxiety is to expose yourself to more, preferably uncomfortable, social situations. If you spent the next month talking to a group of strangers one-on-one every single day then I guarantee you would not have the problems you describe. I have very similar issues at the moment, but thats just because I spend most of the time on my own or with close friends and family. I rarely meet new people, so when I do the social anxiety goes through the roof. But I know that it's not a fixed or permanent characteristic. It fluctuates depending on the amount of practise I have. So it'll be the same for you. It just takes work and effort to overcome it. 

In the mean time, here's a interesting article/video with some useful and practical advice for people with social anxiety. Starts at around 30:43 https://www.personalpowermeditation.com/social-anxiety-advice-from-scott-adams/
 

[Ether]

On 10/05/2018 at 3:20 AM, Buddha Jackson said:

@Charlotte Yes! Essentially we are all just one big family there is nothing to be anxious of when we see other people that way!

Nope! We can just get insulted or murdered!!!

[Faceless]

Could be the ever so common...

 

Thought has constructed a self image to bring about a sense of psychological security. Only thought is afraid of that image being destroyed by others “not meeting that self imposed image in a way that validates that image.” 

 

The self constantly wants to feel secure. So it creates a certain image to capture and maintain psychological order. Only when an image is created to do so there is an instant defensive mechanism as a result...So every encounter in relationship becomes defensive. “A movement of fear which then seeks to escape that very happening” 

Because you are always trying to protect yourself you come to a position as not even wanting to get involved with social interactions at all. Anxiety/stress and so on. 

 

If we create an image to validate ourselves we also create the chance of that image being destroyed. So to create and image to secure oneself invites the chance of insecurity arising as well. For example, to invite pleasure “security” is to invite pain/suffering “insecurity”.....These two are really one and the same. 

 

Key is to not create any image to psychologically secure oneself. If no image is created no image can be destroyed.

Therfore no fear/stress/anxiety in social situations. 

Edited May 13, 2018 by Faceless