How to handle intense jealousy?

[Faceless]

@OnceMoreBeing aware of the fact without escaping becomes its own action. 

Then inquire into why one is jealous

Edited February 10, 2018 by Faceless

[OnceMore]

@Faceless But I know why I am jealous: because he has what I want. And he got it easy, whereas I'm finding it hard.

But knowing why I am jealous still isn't getting rid of any jealousy. I think it's actually increasing the feelings of jealousy...

[Nahm]

@OnceMore Just a left field question, but is your brother into any instructors, motivational speakers, law of attraction teachers, etc?    Also, how did this job fall into his lap? Did he apply for it? DId he know someone on the ‘inside’? DId he network his way in?

[OnceMore]

@Nahm Nope, he's never been in to any instructors or motivational speakers or whatever. I've tried many times to get him interested because I'd thought it would help him when he was unemployed but he's always rejected the idea or the need for this type of stuff. 

So the job came to him like this: His girlfriend wanted him to get a real job, because as I've said, he's never worked and has just been lazying around. 

She told him to go for this particular job that they're offering to young people post high school without college degrees in particular. 

He got his girlfriend and her relatives who are successful to write his CV (which a lot of was fabricated) and to do the online tests for him, because he didn't have the skills himself to pass those tests. 

He got on to the next stage for the job which was the interview. He's a good looking and confident and extroverted guy so of course he aced the interview. Then they gave him the job. 

[Faceless]

10 minutes ago, OnceMore said:

@Faceless But I know why I am jealous: because he has what I want. And he got it easy, whereas I'm finding it hard.

But knowing why I am jealous still isn't getting rid of any jealousy. I think it's actually increasing the feelings of jealousy...

Your comparing yourself ‘measuring’. 

Dont try and get rid of jealousy, ‘you’ can’t. 

Why are you measuring or comparing?

what is the motive? 

Why do you want what he has? 

 

Edited February 10, 2018 by Faceless

[OnceMore]

6 minutes ago, Faceless said:

Why are you measuring or comparing?

what is the motive? 

 

Those are questions I've never considered...

I don't know why I'm measuring or comparing. I feel like it was just a natural gut reaction to this particular news. If I had the choice to not compare, I would choose that 100 times out of 100. 

What is the motive for this measuring or comparing? I have no idea. It obviously doesn't serve me. Just makes me feel like shit and makes me create topics like this. 

Why do I want what he has? Because I know it'll make me happier. They are all levels on Maslow's hierarchy that need to be filled. 

What do you think? 

Edited February 10, 2018 by OnceMore

[Faceless]

9 minutes ago, OnceMore said:

Those are questions I've never considered...

I don't know why I'm measuring or comparing. I feel like it was just a natural gut reaction to this particular news. If I had the choice to not compare, I would choose that 100 times out of 100. 

What is the motive for this measuring or comparing? I have no idea. It obviously doesn't serve me. Just makes me feel like shit and makes me create topics like this. 

Why do I want what he has? Because I know it'll make me happier. They are all levels on Maslow's hierarchy that need to be filled. 

What do you think? 

That is the function of Thought/the self, to measure/compare....

No I don’t get involved with concepts, theory’s, philosophy’s. 

I deal with real facts ‘ what is actually happening’ not what should be

just pay attention to this jealousy. Doesn’t rationalize it or condemn it. Just let it do what it does. But be aware of that movement. For now ??

 

Edited February 10, 2018 by Faceless

[Deep]

54 minutes ago, OnceMore said:

He got his girlfriend and her relatives who are successful to write his CV (which a lot of was fabricated) and to do the online tests for him, because he didn't have the skills himself to pass those tests. 

That's what manipulative people do and you said he's not manipulative at all? 

[Jamie Universe]

Usually whenever a problem like this comes up for me, I just start screaming at myself for being jealous over such stupid stuff. Not saying this will work for you, but you need have your argument against your monkey mind, and it needs to convince you enough so that you can just scream those facts at the jealous part of your mind. 

For me, my self-argument is that jealousy is completely useless, self-tormenting machine, that exists because the monkey mind is unhappy it doesn't have what it wants. Just like how worrying before presenting something, is completely useless because your going to go up on stage anyway, and you can either feel like this, or more confident.

But honestly no guarantees. Also Leo has videos on jealousy.

[Key Elements]

5 hours ago, OnceMore said:

@Key Elements Or it may not backfire and he'll continue to coast and fly through life with no problems like he already has been, while I'm gonna have to grind my way to get anywhere near the pay he is getting. Or like I'm gonna have to grind my way to perhaps have even just a small opportunity to try to improve myself so a girl might be interested in me getting to know her. etc. 

 

I'm saying backfire because "looks" can only go so far. If he doesn't gain the skill for that position, no one wants their company to be run down. Once you get a job in a professional setting, you may see this happen, or the ppl you meet along the way will tell you. The employer will say to the unqualified person, "You're not really cut out for this." And then they get laid off or fired.

Anyway, the point is, like I was saying, your life is about you. The person who has it together knows how to make the wise decisions for his own life. The both of you are young and have a long way to go. You can't really say what are the results -- just try to make wise decisions. He's your brother. He's family. I hope the both of you end up working as a team, learn from each other, and help each other through life, instead of just being jealous and negative and splitting up for just that reason.