Help guys :(

[Toby]

It's normal. I don't find a video right now but Gangaji describes something like that. Dropping through thoughts and emotions just before you drop right through some essential experience there might be some deadness. So everything is fine.

[Charlotte]

42 minutes ago, Shin said:

I don't even know if you even exist, or anything for that matter, this is so fucked up.

Cheers @Shin ?

[Hsinav]

Just go with the flow and see what happens, what´s for sure is that nobody knows. You can take anything! (well, you have to )

Last year I´v found your posts interesting, It takes some degree of "depression" to be interesting I think. 

[cetus]

 

On 2/6/2018 at 1:16 PM, Shin said:

I don't even know if you even exist, or anything for that matter, this is so fucked up.

@Shin I'm sure you've had a dream and became aware you were dreaming. Your doing that again while fully awake.  

[Viking]

im clearly not qualified to say anything but there are words that my mind can produce that might make you understand stuff:

• what does that disinterest feel like?
• you could take some psychedelics if you use them sometimes, serotonin and stuff
• "interest" is a feeling that is caused by rubricizing (putting labels). you first think about whether you should do something, then you have interest/disinterest. that means that you do have thoughts no? if you'd do something without thoughts I guess it wouldnt matter if you had or didnt have interest.
• maybe youve become directly conscious that nothing matters but not yet that the "not mattering" doesnt matter.

[cirkussmile]

Have you seen glimpses of Truth in the past?

We go from everything to nothing but that is still duality. Don't get stuck "on the other side". When everything and nothing becomes one then you can't be depressed.

[dorg]

1 hour ago, Shin said:

I don't even know if you even exist, or anything for that matter, this is so fucked up.

Not knowing is a good sign

[LastThursday]

A journey is not a journey without change, look out of the window and enjoy the scenery. Before you were interested, now you're disinterested, next you're...

[dorg]

2 hours ago, Shin said:

It's not like there was negative thoughts, it's total silence, but there is like a total disinterest in anything.

"Total disinterest" could be phrased as "total allowance or acceptance", or even "surrender".

Maybe no negative thoughts, but that fact that there is depression shows that there is 'an attitude' (still) in place.

[Torkys]

The fact that you think this is a problem means that you still resist. Resistance and disinterest are different things. But what do a bunch of symbols even mean?

Allow everything. Surrender. Resisting will just worsen your situation.

Good, @Shin, good, let the depression flow through you!

Stay strong, my friend!

Edited February 6, 2018 by Torkys

[Dodo]

@Shin 

 

[Shin]

1 hour ago, cetus56 said:

 

@Shin I'm sure you've had a dream and became aware you where dreaming. Your doing that again while fully awake.  

Yes but sometimes when you know you are having a lucid dream, and the dream doesn't stop, and you want to awake,

It can turn into a, I don't the word but something like a traumatic experience, because you know it isn't real but still can't do anything.

Hopefully I know that if you let go the dream can be quiet nice or at least not unpleasant.

But I don't know how to let go, if it was that easy I would have done it, or I just want to suffer more, which would be sick but at this point It wouldn't surprise me.

[cirkussmile]

Who knows it isn't real?

[cetus]

32 minutes ago, Shin said:

Yes but sometimes when you know you are having a lucid dream, and the dream doesn't stop, and you want to awake,

It can turn into a, I don't the word but something like a traumatic experience, because you know it isn't real but still can't do anything.

Hopefully I know that if you let go the dream can be quiet nice or at least not unpleasant.

But I don't know how to let go, if it was that easy I would have done it, or I just want to suffer more, which would be sick but at this point It wouldn't surprise me.

@Shin Since your already here with your eyes wide open why not just sit back and enjoy this dreamscape of a reality. I'm sure there are plenty more where this one came from.

[nightrider1435]

@Shin Start of the dark night of the soul possibly? Everything becomes uninteresting because the universe wants you to keep turning inwards. Have you had any major glimpses?

You're waking up, no doubt in my mind based on what you're saying here. When I reached this point that's when my mind really started to kick and scream, its becoming exposed to what really is. When duality really starts to dissolve your kinda just like oh.......... oh ... shit.. wow.

[Shin]

2 minutes ago, nightrider1435 said:

@Shin Start of the dark night of the soul possibly? Everything becomes uninteresting because the universe wants you to keep turning inwards. Have you had any major glimpses?

You're waking up, no doubt in my mind based on what you're saying here. When I reached this point that's when my mind really started to kick and scream, its becoming exposed to what really is. When duality really starts to dissolve your kinda just like oh.......... oh ... shit.. wow.

Another thing I noticed is how everything has an «aura» all around it.

It's not something visual because the thing observed is exactly the same.

Don't know what that is, it's obvious when people talk to me or when I look at a scene without focusing on anything particular.

[nightrider1435]

@Shin Can you see your own aura? Does your body sort of like glow now? I get what your're trying to say though. In a way everything is "alive" because its all consciousness. 

[Nahm]

@Shin You know, it’s always all good. This is just another time, that a little confusion, a little purification is happening. Chill. You’ll be feelin fine soon. This is just some expansion, like a sore muscle that you give some rest to, it’s getting even stronger. And at the same time, I’m callin bullshit ?. Nobody this compassionate should ever feel other than loved, and loving. You are love itself dude, remember? Yeah. Take another look at these perfect compassion bombs, so well dispensed, it’s as if an angel sprinkled a little heaven dust, like Gordon Ramsay with a damn pairing knife, like Leo with that not being it - You’re amazing man. Look at this love....❤️

https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/18306-does-anyone-understand-sudden-depression/

https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/18221-please-help/

And don’t be all, yeah I know, but you didn’t really look at em. Look at em. 

We exist in the exact same way you exist. This, whatever we’re doing, this is it, and when we move on, that’s awesome too, and we’ll do something next, and it will be awesome too. The joy comes and goes, so does the pain, so does the blank state. Neutral is fine.   Maybe get out, go to the grocery store or somethin. I bet, whenever you see someone, you feel what you are, and I bet it’s pretty awesome.

 

We’re all just that kid, talkin like we know stuff. Lol.  Don’t get serious on me Shin!

[Shin]

4 minutes ago, nightrider1435 said:

@Shin Can you see your own aura? Does your body sort of like glow now? I get what your're trying to say though. In a way everything is "alive" because its all consciousness. 

The body is really weird.

If I'm not lost in an activity, It's like my energy body is all there is (physically speaking).

It's empty, wet full, and I started to notice it moving by itself very elegantly, as if it was moving by itself (even though I still think I control it).

[Shin]

18 minutes ago, Nahm said:

@Shin You know, it’s always all good. This is just another time, that a little confusion, a little purification is happening. Chill. You’ll be feelin fine soon. This is just some expansion, like a sore muscle that you give some rest to, it’s getting even stronger. And at the same time, I’m callin bullshit ?. Nobody this compassionate should ever feel other than loved, and loving. You are love itself dude, remember? Yeah. Take another look at these perfect compassion bombs, so well dispensed, it’s as if an angel sprinkled a little heaven dust, like Gordon Ramsay with a damn pairing knife, like Leo with that not being it - You’re amazing man. Look at this love....❤️

https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/18306-does-anyone-understand-sudden-depression/

https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/18221-please-help/

And don’t be all, yeah I know, but you didn’t really look at em. Look at em. 

We exist in the exact same way you exist. This, whatever we’re doing, this is it, and when we move on, that’s awesome too, and we’ll do something next, and it will be awesome too. The joy comes and goes, so does the pain, so does the blank state. Neutral is fine.   Maybe get out, go to the grocery store or somethin. I bet, whenever you see someone, you feel what you are, and I bet it’s pretty awesome.

 

We’re all just that kid, talkin like we know stuff. Lol.  Don’t get serious on me Shin!

 

But when I write stuff like that, the words just come, nothing is from me.

It just feels great when there is no mind to try to get some identification out of it, but you can't praise anyone for it.

So what the fuck is amazing there, I need to investigate.

 

30 minutes ago, nightrider1435 said:

@Shin

 

Edited February 6, 2018 by Shin