I had an extrime panic attack-like experience.

[Parki]

Until last night I had been using iboga for 4 days straight.
dosage by days:

1.8g
1.11g
2.22g
6g

All the trips were bad, but I could handle it,
so ye feels like absolute shit, but I was hoping that I could learn something
from it.

The last trip was really bad,
I definitelly take a break from psychedelics at least for a year,
I stared to the face of death for 12 hours,
and even the experience were for like 1 min and were hundreds time
worse.

I was up for 45 hours(24(trip) + 12(before the attack) + 9(after the attack))

After 36 hours I tried to get some sleep.
I lie in bed, trying to sleep, I don't really wanted to,
but I needed it to reset myself and like one hour in bed it happened.

It started with low entensity and then it exploded exponentially.

Just when it hited me I realize that it's way more than I am(in fact I think no one can handle it) able handle,
so I started to think about killing myself to get rid of it
and simultaniously freaking out that I don't have will power enough to do it,
so I will have to experience it.

Oddly enough my heart weren't racing at all, not even a little bit.

I was also freaking out because it was way beyond I thought it possible to experience.

The feeling wasn't pointing to anything.
It wasn't like "I am afraid to die".
Just terror/anxiety/fear(I cannot use the right word for it, it's very unique feeling) with no reason behind it.

It didn't stopped by itself,
I somehow understood if I lower my attention to it,
it stops growing and it slowly started to decrease.

After it happend I coulnd't sleep,
because if I lie down I inevitably start to focus on emptyness,
I realize if I continue, I will be there, so I have to stop.
I talked to a couple of people about the experience,
watched some stupid youtube vids to distract myself
after 9 hours I took 2mg of Corvalolum and I finally get to sleep.

I have no ptsd from what happened.
The mind is very tricky, I am absolutelly calm, just like nothing happened.

sry for rambling I am a shit writer,
but sharing such experience has more value

consider this a draft, maybe I will write some more.

Does anyone knows what was it?

[AlwaysBeNice]

A very suppressed background, no prior meditation practice and a mind that wants to go deep will usually result in a very bumpy ride, it will actually always tend to be bumpy but now especially so. 

'It' was believing in thoughts, having little trust in the process and in who you are and being very cut off from your feeling nature.

[Arman]

Partial context for readers: 

 

5 hours ago, Parki said:

Does anyone knows what was it?

you played with fire, you got burnt 

[Heart of Space]

You're not only done with psychedelics for the year, man.  You're done forever if you care about your well being.  What you did was insanely irresponsible and shows that you shouldn't be touching anything like this.  

That being said, I'm very sorry for what happened to you man, I really am.  You're probably in a pretty rough place, but just know that you CAN and WILL get back to a much more positive place given you make the right life choices.  It's time to clean up your life, eat healthy, exercise, meditate, and zero substance use.  Not even caffeine if you can help it.  Good luck.  

[AlwaysBeNice]

On caffeine in my experience, it's amazing how that stuff disrupts sleep, even if you're pretty early with it given it stays in the system for quite a bit of time and even small amounts have very noticeable negative effects in my experience. 

Can't belief starbucks is so popular and people drink that stuff in the evening too, what the fuck

[Heart of Space]

1 hour ago, AlwaysBeNice said:

On caffeine in my experience, it's amazing how that stuff disrupts sleep, even if you're pretty early with it given it stays in the system for quite a bit of time and even small amounts have very noticeable negative effects in my experience. 

Can't belief starbucks is so popular and people drink that stuff in the evening too, what the fuck

Agreed.  The level to which that stuff affects sleep and your long term well being is far greater than people realize.  Which is why I'm always confused when they allow black tea drinking at Vipassana retreats.  People at the retreats can be seen drinking caffeinated tea 3 times a day, which is a strong craving and the antithesis of what you're going for with your results.  

[Arman]

How are things now, @Parki ?

Can you share your retrospective thoughts on the ibogaine and your experiences afterwards? 

[Vingger]

Dying sensations are not death,

That's why there is no reason to not allow these to simply be or being afraid.. yes,these are strong and can't get out easily...

What you can do in these situations is to use your favourite teacher's voice like eckhart to guide you.. reaching a higher vibrational state.

[Vingger]

My heavy experience with pot.. reality was melting and disolving into red pure energy suddenly a red-purple pyramid appears claiming about the untemporal background of conciousness, infinite intelligence, infinite life,mind becoming solid, wasn't able to think, walk or talk, vision was fucked up, only stills remaining :me,the energy field of the body and the sensations to shit on my pants; within the fear this muse of mind gave me insights about my concerns about the world, it does not exists.. took the voice of a spanish spiritual teacher which i watch

"don't distract,DON'T BE AFRAID, IT'S YOU, FEEL IT"

I just ask to letting me out of the experience, was too strong for me.. purple was gone, ego came back and this red field remains until for 15 minutes..