Pick-up Did Not Go So Well...

[Ross]

Alright guys, I just want to discuss a small problem.

When I am out to meet women and get laid, I usually try to hit on girls in nightclubs. The problem is that if the interaction goes horribly or I get rejected, it's so awkward meeting them another night (if I bump into them) and they give me the 'looks'.  Is there anyway to get over this?

PS This case applies to hitting on girls at the gym as well.

Thanks

[jasonjp1016]

Are you in a small town or city?

[Lynnel]

@Ross Doesn't happen unless you're in a small city.

If you are, move in a bigger one or stop doing pick up.

[Phocus]

"If you can't fix it, feature it."

Just use it as part of your conversation opener.  "Hey, it's my favorite _____!  What are you up to?!"  Bring the good energy!  Have a smile, be excited to see them.  Honestly, they might not even remember why they know you; they just know that they recognize you.  If they do recognize you and remember "the incident" then what better way to start repairing the damage done?

[7thLetter]

One way to get over it is to just keep doing it. Keep going out consistently until whatever bothers you now doesn't bother you anymore. My first few interactions in pickup went horribly wrong as well, but it doesn't matter because I don't expect to perfect the first few approaches. And for your problem with bumping into the same people again, don't let that stuff get to you. There have been MANY times I approached the same girl a 2nd time at the same mall and they're just like "You approached me before..." or "Oh it's you again." But I don't even remember approaching that girl last time lol. Be independent of the outcome, whatever happens happens. Just accept it.

[Will]

@Chives99 You hit it on the head man!!

If you dont give a fuck they wont either..

Experiment if you like.. But you have to honestly believe it otherwise they will smell it on you....
If you go in there pretending they will know...

You may find you have some work to do on your inner belief and confidence if you cant pull this off..

 

[Guest]

Like people said, have access to a big population. Small towns are rough because you will develop a reputation.

Also, make sure you study seduction in addition to taking action. People underrate the value of study,imo.

[Ross]

Cheers for the responses,

I am at University right now so that's why I'm worried about the city I live in for doing pick-up. Is it ok to cold approach people from the university?

[Hunter Arrington]

Don't react so much. How to not react so much...sleep well...eat healthy...and practice meditation..the principles of zen and Vipassana are recommended. Find love and joy in everything. Feel your body. Don't lie to yourself. 

[Natasha]

It's not about rejection, it's about selection. Cultivate qualities that make them see you as value. Girls can tell if a guy comes from a place of genuine interest (value) or just hunting for a piece of meat (no value).

[Jawor]

change your mindset a bit: 

1) every rejection is a success

2) awkward conversations are funny, you enjoy them

and practice a lot

[Will]

2 hours ago, Ross said:

Is it ok to cold approach people from the university?

Yes absolutelty. Be known as the guy who is the stud.. maybe practice elsewhere and get it down first before you do it at uni though

 

[reez]

@Ross You are the one making it awkward

Show high value by saying Hey and greeting the girls, no need to "hit on them" just say Hello ask a few questions and then walk away

Who knows, they maybe decide to follow you home that night instead

[Ross]

@reez I see where you are coming from haha. I try to be outcome independent but I don't think just saying hello and asking a few questions will get them interested in me.

[Natasha]

46 minutes ago, Ross said:

@reez I see where you are coming from haha. I try to be outcome independent but I don't think just saying hello and asking a few questions will get them interested in me.

Oh yes it will. Approach with confidence (direct eye contact, body language, etc) and strategy your questions and compliments. Girls LOVE being complimented! They eat it up. Compliment them on what they love most - their shoes. And after 10 mins or so, as @reez  suggested, walk away. This should get her interest hooked.

[Guest]

@Ross Couple of things:

Have somebody on the go all the time.  Be honest that you don't want to settle down with one person yet. 

When you're dating now you can just go out and relax and have fun for the sake of having a good time.  

There is no need to be hitting on the girls.

You're now the guy who is organising the fun.

If you can pull this off you will get offers all the time just by speaking to girls and treating them as friends.  You must friendzone them but also at the same time flirt and be nice, have fun with them, make them feel attractive.

When you make friends with girls just enjoy their company, dance with them but don't touch them in obvious places.  Be a gent and you will have eyes all over you in the clubs because other girls you don't know will notice all this going on.

If you live your life like this around the campus you there will always be someone there for you ready to take your dates place.

[Natasha]

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Will]

8 hours ago, Ross said:

I don't think just saying hello and asking a few questions will get them interested in me.

girls dont like to be interrogated, that like having fun, being given a great story or hearing something fun or exciting and they just generally like being with a guy who is fun and adventurous.. If you can bring this to a conversation girls will eat you up..

You also have to do it in a way that you respect yourself .. dont just give give give.. give a bit and then only give some more if they show you they like or they give you some body language that they wont more... If they dont like walk away and find someone who does.. Have some self respect.. Just because they are hot does not mean they are awesome girls..

 

[Will]

7 hours ago, Natasha said:

Compliment them on what they love most - their shoes. And after 10 mins or so, as @reez  suggested, walk away. This should get her interest hooked.

Not exactly. you can do this many times in a minute. with body language..  i.e. look get eye contact,, hold for as long as you can and then wink and turn around and carry on what you doing somewhere else.. 

Or

go upto a girl say hi be direct say something funny then step back a bit and turn your body slighty away..

do this several times and notices her body language.. if it starts to draw her in she likes you or is intrigued . so keep going. If not,,, your probably being creepy somehow (adjust your body language) or she just does not like you..

if she rejects you great, you learnt  something  or she was just not your type (Big win)

If she eats you up.(You win)

 

 

 

[reez]

@Ross You are not supposed to make them interested during this first interaction, you just set a boundary with basically saying "This is not awkward."

After you have said hello and been going at a conversation - You are just greeting and keeping an interaction going to be the "better human" which will show to them that you have a higher value. But DO NOT stay there for long, that will ruin everything and show needyness

Just leave them be, don't go up to them again. You don't need their approval or interaction. There are multiple other girls in the clubs to prove it  

However if you liked any of them, you CAN go back to them LATER on the night. I'm talking a few hours here.

 

And obviously do what @Will says. He got some good points.