For Those Who Have Fear Of People's Opinion

Ken Lecoq · February 29, 2016

Hi everybody

I'm creating this topic because I overcame my fear of other's people's opinion last summer, and I wanted to share with you my experience ^^

Well, last spring, I became conscious of the fear I had when I wanted to talk to strangers... Mostly with girls actually, because I always had boy friends (not "boyfriends", I'm into womens), and I didn't know how to talk to girls at all. I wanted to have a girlfriend, so I had to overcome this fear, because I was limiting myself through this fear.

At that time, I already started personal development, and I was following Actualized.org. The video "How to stop caring about what people think of you" inspired me, and motivated me.

I started learning about pick-up, mostly through youtube videos (simple pickup, simple sexy stupid, trippadvice...). For me, it was amazing seeing those guys totally free of fear, capable to talk to girls in the street and getting their number that fast ; and it wasn't because of how they looked.

As I was thinking about myself doing pickup like them, I was already feeling the fear inside me, but at the same time, a lot of adrenalin, because those videos proved me that it was totally possible, and that it could be a lot of fun to overcome this fear.

In summer, I did a 30 days challenge, going every single day outside in order to talk to groups of girls, at the beach, in the street, in shopping malls, at night in the city.

There are two keys here :

The first one, is to DO THE FIRST STEP. That's actually when the fear is the most present, and the most difficult to overcome. It can be for exemple the first aftenoon you decide to go outside and talk to groups of strangers. This first time, you can feel a lot of butterflies within tour guts, the fear is almost overwhelming, your heart can be beating very fast... But if you are not able to do the first step, you won't be able to overcome the fear at all, and you will be subdued by the fear the rest of your life. Once you did it a couple of times, you understand by experience that the fear is actually just an illusion, just an invisible wall that YOU are creating.

And the second one is REGULARITY. If you go outside in order to overcome your fear once every two week or so, you aren't be able to overcome the fear the way you want to. Why ? Because between each "session", you are going to forget what you did the last time, and the fear is going to fully reinstall itself while you spend days alone without working on it. If you want to fully overcome the fear, do a 30 days challenge, talking everydays to groups of strangers, and you will learn exponentially. The first 2 or 3 days are going to be the hardest days, but after, the fear will naturally fade away, because you will be working on it every single day. If you do a 30 days challenge, the results of your work are going to be higher, and they will last a very long time. I personally did that last summer, and 6 months later, in february, the fear I had before never reinstalled itself. Last friday, I went to a pub alone, danced withs strangers, talked with them, and made 3 new friends.

If you are alone, well do it alone (I personally did the 30 days challenge alone), but if you can find one or two friends to do it with you the first days, it could be better, you can do little challenges togeather for example.

Here are some exercices for you.