How does One Unify their Neurotic Mind?

[Cjaryo]

So, I've got a PMO addiction, and I've found that one of the root problems is my neurosis, in that a part of me (the primitive) wants sex to a compulsive extent, and another part of me (the higher-self) wants to resist the addiction and actualize. So how do I go about unifying my two selves to want the same thing?

[Guest Mount Bananas]

@Cjaryo

I think that unifying your two selves is one of the hardest things to do. In my experience one always rules over the other. You're probably aware that your higher self wants what's best for you, but the lower self cannot be ignored. Give yourself some satisfaction from time to time. You have to break your PMO addiction though. Take control of your penis. Try going on nofap or masturbate once every two weeks. That's what works best for me (I don't have a porn addiction). If you need more tips on conquering this addiction, there are websites like nofap.com, countless youtube videos and a subreddit which can be a great source of motivation. Whenever you get the urge to masturbate, go to the subreddit and read some stories. It can help. Anyway, I don't want to go in depth here about nofap, but if you need more tips just ask. I sincerely hope I helped you out in any way.

[Faceless]

7 hours ago, Cjaryo said:

So, I've got a PMO addiction, and I've found that one of the root problems is my neurosis, in that a part of me (the primitive) wants sex to a compulsive extent, and another part of me (the higher-self) wants to resist the addiction and actualize. So how do I go about unifying my two selves to want the same thing?

What do u mean two selves ?

[Igor82]

Hey!

I Have 111 a streak of days of nofap and counting from this day on. And to get to this point has been a hell of a journey. I have begun with nofap 12 months ago, and finally, I one day just quit cold-turkey. I started this as a mere challenge, and I struggled with porn for a while... Removing porn was the first achievement in this because if I would not fap, I would turn to porn anyways.

I started fapping without porn, and I gave myself 3 months to quit my porn habit. Then I started doing more nofap, it went from one day to a couple of days at a time, to give in 2 times one day, and then abstaining for 3 days, etc. Slowly increasing the gap between relapses.

I started fapping with awareness, I had to work to allow myself to relapse.

When I watched the "Awareness alone is curative" video from Leo, it came to me that awareness was the sole reason I could quit my PMO addiction, and also a slow journey of doing it, step by step. Don't be too neurotic! Let your awareness take care of that, and set the proper expectation that this is gonna take some time and practice. Reversing a habit is as hard as implementing a new one, so have the same mindset.

Im growing very much day by day now. Ever since quitting nofap, my new life has begun, nofap made me strive for abundance from addictions, and from there on I have been growing into a lifestyle including a lot of personal growth. All the benefits are there, they are like "problems relieved" not "ecstasy gained" You will get much closer to your natural happiness levels as you remove this huge addiction, you will grow a lot, and have it much easier on your journey. You cannot build your foundation on addictions, Its a recipe for disaster.

Sex is a primitive need, but not sex with your hand. Imagine being the "primitive " man you see half of yourself to be. This man has evolved to have sex with a couple of girls in his whole lifetime, maybe have a relationship if he is very lucky and not so primitive.. and so, he would go and chase the women, not his palm. You can have sex, but you should not fap! The wet dreams will take care of your semen build-up, it's a little gift to wake up to sometimes.  

 

[Nahm]

@Cjaryo Early morning meditation everyday, breath focus. Slow the WHOLE game down. Slow mo life, easy. 

And contemplate....the “why am I’s”.

 

[Cjaryo]

@Faceless I mean two selves as in two parts of my being. Each having different levels of needs. I'm not sure if there really are "two selves", but I think it's a good metaphor or way of seeing oneself.

Thanks to everyone for their advice. I know that I have all that I need to beat this, I just need to take action.

[Leo Gura]

One way would be to do a daily yoga practice and purify your lower chakras, which are responisble for base cravings like sex.

Another way is to burn thru some karma by having lots of sex and becoming aware of how unsatisfying it is.

Another way is to alchemize your sexual energy into a big important creative pursuit like your life purpose.

Another way is to experience God through a deep psychedelic trip, which will rewire your drives in life away from petty materialism.

[Lynnel]

13 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Another way is to burn thru some karma by having lots of sex and becoming aware of how unsatisfying it is.

Another way is to alchemize your sexual energy into a big important creative pursuit like your life purpose.

The first option may backfire as having sex will prompt you to have even more sex plus sometimes sex can feel extremely satistying.

For the second one I've always been wondering how to do it.

A video about how to use your sexual energy properly to lead an amazing life could become a gold standard.

I know there are all thos vajra poses in yoga + two bandas to burn trough it but it has always been very vague and random and I never seriously experimented with it unfortunately.

[Timotheus]

Awesome guided meditation, it's a pleasure. Be Do it and you will definitely feel permanent changes in your body. Relaxed, and at peace, which of course will eventually wipe out all neurosis.

If you crave sex, then go for it, as much as possible, the body has its needs, never supress any cravings this will probably backfire.

[Faceless]

1 hour ago, Cjaryo said:

@Faceless I mean two selves as in two parts of my being. Each having different levels of needs. I'm not sure if there really are "two selves", but I think it's a good metaphor or way of seeing oneself.

Thanks to everyone for their advice. I know that I have all that I need to beat this, I just need to take action.

Well if you accept that there are two selves no wonder there’s this neurosis. Even the total acceptance that there is actually one entity “the self” leads to unbalanced contradiction. If you think that there is two selves and are constantly acting on behalf of “them” you will feed both of those “selfs”. And to feed one is to starve the other. If one has a victory the other a defeat. 

I would question the whole “idea” that there is two selves. Then if/when you saw that that was incorrect I would question the validity even one self. If you want to Learn about this, look into the self/thought. All you answers are there. Its most important. And it’s very interesting. 

 

 

Edited February 6, 2018 by Faceless

[captainamerica]

4 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Another way is to alchemize your sexual energy into a big important creative pursuit like your life purpose.

@Leo Gura Do you have a book on your book list about that too ?

If not ,any efficient technique you can share ?

[art]

@Leo Gura Lots of sex for me are VERY satisfying. Multiple partners and enlightenment I see no difference

[mk0998]

5 hours ago, captainamerica said:

@Leo Gura Do you have a book on your book list about that too ?

If not ,any efficient technique you can share ?

Check out this book: Taoist Secrets of Love: Cultivating Male Sexual Energy by Mantak Chia

[Gabriel Antonio]

15 hours ago, Lynnel said:

The first option may backfire as having sex will prompt you to have even more sex plus sometimes sex can feel extremely satistying.

Sex, food, success can bring satisfaction in the short term. But it eventually wears off. This happened to me with video games. I saw how unhappy I was becoming, and the behavior autocorrected. I dropped the addiction effortlessly.

Yea, I know, it looks too good to be true, but this is real shit! Behaviors autocorrect.

The thing is, you gotta allow yourself to go through the process. This means, not repressing the behavior your instinct wants to do. And while you are engaging in the behavior and its consequences, you practice nonjudgement. And if any feeling of guilty arises, you block it.  It’s hard to do allow yourself to screw up, especially if you have a micromanaging ego. 

In your case it would mean jerking off as much as you want. And not fucking bitch about it. That’s one thing I hate about the NoFap community. They stress out so much... 

 

[Leo Gura]

15 hours ago, art said:

@Leo Gura Lots of sex for me are VERY satisfying. Multiple partners and enlightenment I see no difference

That's just because you're not being mindful enough as you do it.

In fact, sex and all your multiple partners makes you suffer. You're a slave to your dick.

See, the trick is, you actually enjoy your suffering. Such that you've forgotten it's suffering.

[MisterMan]

seems like that can be the cart before the ox to a lot of people leo. Any other way of approaching it?

[Lynnel]

@Gabriel Antonio Yeah I had that with artificial suggar : I ate so much garbage that at some point my body was like okay stop => never again. I can't stand anything remotely processed as of now.