Open relationship :)

[Shin]

1 hour ago, cirkussmile said:

Look at nature. Some animals fuck around like dogs (including dogs) and some stay togheter until death. 

Humans have the tendency to stay togheter for a very long time. Only ignorance and false expectations can end relationships but until then we enjoy one partner. 

If we believe that others can make us happy then it's also easy to believe in multiple partners.

There's nothing more beautiful in this world than the expression of a loving couple that are committed to their own happiness but still make the relationship work. 

Honestly I think by default we aren't monogamous at all.

That being said, we are a peculiar specie, we can channel our sexual energy elsewhere, we can even watch our cravings without having to act on them.
So to me, it's pretty obvious, we can choose.

As long as you are mature enough, disciplined enough, and conscious enough, you can do whatever you want.
You just need to find compatible partner(s) for what is it you fucking want.

There is nothing wrong to want to have multiple sexual relationships (open relationship), or having a 3/4 love/sex relationship either, as long as everyone is ok and isn't in suffering with it (otherwise you're just being selfish).

The thing is, how many people are that developed to have those kinds of relationships ? Not a lot of people.

The same problem applies to monogamous relationship though, if you can't channel/not act on your cravings, if you aren't disciplined, if you are unconscious, of course it won't work either ...

 

Edited March 7, 2018 by Shin

[cirkussmile]

2 minutes ago, Shin said:

Honestly I think by default we aren't monogamous at all.

That being said, we are a peculiar specie, we can channel our sexual energy elsewhere, we can even watch our cravings without having to act on them.
So to me, it's pretty obvious, we can choose.

As long as you are mature enough, disciplined enough, and conscious enough, you can do whatever you want.
You just need to find compatible partner(s) for what is it you fucking want.

There is nothing wrong to want to have multiple sexual relationships (open relationship), or having a 3/4 love/sex relationship either, as long as everyone is ok and isn't in suffering with it.

The thing is, how many people are that developed to have those kinds of relationships ? Not a lot of people.

The same problem applies to monogamous relationship though, if you can't channel/not act on your cravings, if you aren't disciplined, if you are unconscious, of course it won't work either ...

 

Yes. We can choose! That's the beauty of being human. But deep down we work from programming and how does that programming express itself?

The most high conscious beings are either alone or have a stable partner. Why? Because it take to much effort and hazzle to run from person to person only to have sex or intimacy. 

First step is to find out who you are and then the right partner will join. To have many partners is acting on craving. I can't see how many partners can be a good thing of you want to live and spread peace around you. Just because you handle it doesn't mean that all your partners can handle it. 

And yes. This is highly my intuition speaking

[Shin]

11 minutes ago, cirkussmile said:

Yes. We can choose! That's the beauty of being human. But deep down we work from programming and how does that programming express itself?

The most high conscious beings are either alone or have a stable partner. Why? Because it take to much effort and hazzle to run from person to person only to have sex or intimacy. 

First step is to find out who you are and then the right partner will join. To have many partners is acting on craving. I can't see how many partners can be a good thing of you want to live and spread peace around you. Just because you handle it doesn't mean that all your partners can handle it. 

And yes. This is highly my intuition speaking

They have a stable partner, but I bet my right hand sometimes they allow themselves to have a nice threesome or partner switch for a night  

Now I say all those things, but I myself intuitively want a monogamous relationship (at least for now), because I know I won't have time for multiple partners anyway, but also because (in my mind) it's just more beautiful to go infinitely deeper with only one person.

I can totally see why it is a limitation in someone else point of view, and that's why I'm that open-minded about this, because for some people they are acting against their own desire by forcing themselves into monogamous relationship, or to accept that their partner have multiple ones (because they can't let go of them) if it's not what they truly want.

EDIT: Culturally there are so many pression to be with only one person, but that all come from rigid and old religious scriptures, also there for economic and political reasons (marriage ...).

Edited March 7, 2018 by Shin

[cirkussmile]

@Shin It's easy. We just have to go to ourselves and be really honest. Do I want to grow in love with one partner or do I want to follow my cravings and yet not be lonely? 

Nothing wrong with wanting to have sex and that doesn't contradict monogamy. Everyone can be both but when we talking about a deep loving relationship we can not name polygamy in there. 

Even though I heard a yogi once who let his wife have sex with others since she was very sexual and he not so much. I resonate more with that then if I had many partners

 

Edited March 7, 2018 by cirkussmile

[Shin]

2 minutes ago, cirkussmile said:

@Shin

Nothing wrong with wanting to have sex and that doesn't contradict monogamy. Everyone can be both but when we talking about a deep loving relationship we can not name polygamy in there. 

Why is that ?

Why can't 3/4 people that all love each other couldn't love each other deeply ?

Yeah it would rare (nowadays), but it can done, I'm pretty pretty sure of that  

[Key Elements]

41 minutes ago, Shin said:

EDIT: Culturally there are so many pression to be with only one person, but that all come from rigid and old religious scriptures, also there for economic and political reasons (marriage ...).

Interesting Shin...

By whose definition?

The word 'definition' is man-made, just like a laptop. Even when two ppl are married and have a marriage certificate to prove it, are they really married? No. Not according to nature. Why then do some ppl choose to stay together without 'cheating' or having an open relationship? Is that wrong? No. It's choice. We get to choose. Not everyone is the same. We have choice. Humans can go beyond the animal instinct.

[Shin]

1 minute ago, Key Elements said:

Interesting Shin...

By whose definition?

The word 'definition' is man-made, just like a laptop. Even when two ppl are married and have a marriage certificate to prove it, are they really married? No. Not according to nature. Why then do some ppl choose to stay together without 'cheating' or having an open relationship? Is that wrong? No. It's choice. We get to choose. Not everyone is the same. We have choice. Humans can go beyond the animal instinct.

I don't really understand what you mean there, also I pretty much said the same thing 2 post ago. 

Edited March 7, 2018 by Shin

[cirkussmile]

1 minute ago, Shin said:

Why is that ?

Why can't 3/4 people that all love each other couldn't love each other deeply ?

Yeah it would rare (nowadays), but it can done, I'm pretty pretty sure of that  

Why? It's the same with everything. What we focus on grows and if you are watering 4 completely different plants who knows what you are going to get? 

Ok, let's say it is possible. But why would anyone want to do that if they are highly conscious? 

[Key Elements]

31 minutes ago, Shin said:

I don't really understand what you mean there, also I pretty much said the same thing 2 post ago. 

Ok, then.

All I'm saying is that humans choose. We have choice. Simple.

[Shin]

1 minute ago, Key Elements said:

Ok, then.

All I'm saying is that humans choose. We have choice. Simple.

That's what I said in my first post  

1 minute ago, cirkussmile said:

Why? It's the same with everything. What we focus on grows and if you are watering 4 completely different plants who knows what you are going to get? 

Ok, let's say it is possible. But why would anyone want to do that if they are highly conscious? 

I don't think you choose to have that, it just happens  

[Key Elements]

5 hours ago, Shin said:

That's what I said in my first post  

I don't think you choose to have that, it just happens  

If it happens, you can choose to leave it.  And do other work. I find too many relationships a distraction. I remember Leo saying in one of his relationship clip, if you are in the wrong/abusive relationship, you could just get in your car and take off. That's the end of it. Same goes for if you find yourself in an open relationship and you don't like it. You could become free/single, just like that. The only thing is, it takes a lot of work on your part to get to that level. Learn to leave unwanted / dishonest relationships with celebration.

Open relationships and polygamist relationships are also according to society's standards -- the "other" society's standards. It could be peer pressure too -- to look cool and popular cause I'm getting laid, or whatever the reason. It's all made up definitions on what is "good" and what is "bad."

[cirkussmile]

2 hours ago, Shin said:

I don't think you choose to have that, it just happens  

Well. If you are aware of it, it doesn't happen

[frnsh]

On 2/5/2018 at 2:33 AM, Shin said:

https://www.self.com/story/open-relationship-stories-rules-questions-people-ask-me

 

After reading this article, I'll definitely try it.

Will be hard and scary at first, but I think it's more in lign with our true nature as human being.

Most of us aren't made to have sex and love only one person for the rest of our lives.

Just look honestly around you, it's not just about the ego being a mess ...

 

Edit: of course there is way more to read, just google it

Hi, 

In my experience I have learned about myself that my deep relationship emotional feelings for some one are separated from caring for other people and also from my sex life. For me it didn't matter how much I cared for the person or how passionate the intimate times were, feeling that love and commitment for that one person was still there. Even though at the end it failed as some honest/betrayal? emotions started growing between my partner and another. 

I think generally it is really important to first start opening up with your current partner and also know what you want in your life and what are you and your partner's limitations. It is really possible when you are discussing it with your partner, you both totally agree with each other about what you are/what you think you are and want to trust that the other person completely knows what he/she is talking about. There is some risk there as you see but it worth it if you know what you are doing.  

 

[Dino D]

I didnt read all post, but it seams that when you talk about poligamy and open relationships it comes down only to sex? its not like living with two women, or with one women and two more husbands or what? and its not like living with one woman/man and then changing the partner for ever, every few months/years...

So the question is a bit more complicated? monogamy, one partner for ever, then is only sex allowed with others or not / or poligamy, living with two or more partners for ever, then is sex allowed with others or not? and then living with one or more partners for ever, or changing partners ,,for ever" ?

[Shin]

55 minutes ago, Dino D said:

I didnt read all post, but it seams that when you talk about poligamy and open relationships it comes down only to sex? its not like living with two women, or with one women and two more husbands or what? and its not like living with one woman/man and then changing the partner for ever, every few months/years...

So the question is a bit more complicated? monogamy, one partner for ever, then is only sex allowed with others or not / or poligamy, living with two or more partners for ever, then is sex allowed with others or not? and then living with one or more partners for ever, or changing partners ,,for ever" ?

On 07/03/2018 at 5:57 PM, cirkussmile said:

 

The first post was about that yes.

But now, it's more in the line of what you say.

It's about any boundaries possible.

[Dino D]

@Shin  How to make peace and get together by creating boundaries (thats something that evan Rupert Spira said in his last video)... You can also read my topic that I posted yesterday -What is authentical? and what I learned from there can be also aplied here in a way, so: You look at boundaries as bad? At first look thats ok, so lets bring down every bounderies, lets be free? Lets eat what we want when we want (and get fat and sick), lets watch porn, lets be angry and kill someone if that is what we want (an extreme) lets fuck no matter what, and live without and rules and boundaries?

Does this seam right?

Boundaries can be in connection with values, and with the ,,higher and lower" self... and guess whitch self wants to fuck and eat without restriction...

Again look at the answers to my post and connect it, you can read also the link about Freud explonations about ID, EGO and SUPEREGO, its posted in my post what is authentical?

That said, you can have a valuable life by living in poligamy, you can fap all they and still be enlighteened or a good person...

Also kids, what works for them? three mothers or one, a divorce or not? if there would not be familys at all, if we all wolud be an eaqual comunity that all raise kids together, but this is only possible in utopia ... I think an open relationship in practice leads to problems, divorces and so on, because at one point you will get more attached to another person, the first one gets jelous or also more attached and so on...

At the end a recepie that i think could work is monogamy with free sex, that only has to stay sex without bulding new deeper social relationships with more persons (yes, the sex can be deep in all dimensions of connecting, but what I mean is that when the sex is over that we should not buldt social relationships (based on emotions or any kind of relationship - partnership with the sex partners)...

I personaly have the need to connect with one person, and to love one woman, but i would like to have ,,free sex" with others, without her having free sex with others haha, thats not fair, but thats me

 

The other thing that bothers me is the,, till death" puts us appart, there are 50% divorces, and from the 50% that stay together we cant imagine how much % would like to divorce but they cant or choose not to because of many reasons, maybe that 4 ever monogamy with the same partner is whats wrong... The non dual path says let go, experience comes and goes and youre not it, everything in life passes and changes, but we climb to the same partner,

But changing partners one way or another does not fit in with the kids (and their emotions and happyness) also practically and financialy it is not functional, those are my thoughts, you see i dont have a clear opinion but I wanted tho share it

[Shin]

You projected a lot of things from three lines lol

I just mean that every kind of relationship is possible, it depends on what you truly wants, your maturity, and finding people that wants the same and are as capable to handle it.

I only talk about this because I don't want people to stay in relationships that aren't for them.

I don't know if it's a high percentage or not of the population, but I do know there are people who genuinely wants this, and not just because they are lustful.

Edited March 12, 2018 by Shin

[Dino D]

6 minutes ago, Shin said:

You projected a lot of things from three lines lol

I just mean that every kind of relationship is possible, it depends on what you truly wants, your maturity, and finding people that wants the same and are as capable to handle it.

I only talk about this because I don't want people stay in relationships that aren't for them.

I don't know if it's a high percentage or not of the population, but I do know there are people who genuinely wants this, and not just because they are lustful.

True... btw. I dont know why the like buttons are gone, so now when i want to show someone that I agree with them, or that i like what they say, i have to answer or qoute is there a topic that explains why the forum changed? maybe you know, just asking peace

[Shin]

1 minute ago, Dino D said:

True... btw. I dont know why the like buttons are gone, so now when i want to show someone that I agree with them, or that i like what they say, i have to answer or qoute is there a topic that explains why the forum changed? maybe you know, just asking peace

There is a thread yes, don't remember the name though.

It's in the self-developement forum

Edited March 12, 2018 by Shin

[johnnywalker]

Who knows...As for me. I'm really jelaous and I have a goal like 

(were taken from http://quotespill.com/relationship-memes/)
...so it's not for me...

Edited April 23, 2018 by johnnywalker