Bufo Alvarius (5-MeO-DMT) ceremony right under my nose. Should I go?

[abrakamowse]

@Elisabeth Write a report about it!

 

I wish there was a group like that close to me.

[TheAvatarState]

@Elisabeth 5-meo is the most powerful psychedelic known to man. So go with your gut instinct, listen to your heart. There's absolutely no pressure at all, so if you don't feel right about it, then don't go. That simple. There will be many more opportunities later in life. 

That being said, I recently read an account of someone going to a 5-meo ceremony with only a couple trips under his belt, and it utterly transformed his life in a positive way. He said that prior experience with states didn't really matter, because 5-meo is just a completely different animal anyway. 

[allislove]

Elisabeth, thank you.

I think the most benefits from 5-meo may come when someone does it rectally, so it's easier to have a trip with open eyes. But, I think, this is a super challenging experience since you have to let go, so ego dies during a trip. 

I did smoking the big dose of 5-meo, so the process of letting go was simple. I just didn't have a choice if I may say like that.     
I've got an interesting experience. That experience shattered my materialistic paradigm and opened my mind, but still, if I could connect the experience to the environment around me, the benefits would be bigger, I think.

So, what I recommend based on my limited experience (1-time 5-meo smoking and 2 times lsd full dose). If you don't have experience with psychedelics − start from lsd (from small dose?). That's also a powerful tool but you can easily connect the experience to the environment.

Just my recommendation, listen your heart, I wish you the best.

Edited May 11, 2019 by dimitri

[Leo Gura]

@Elisabeth Say Hi to God for us

[ValiantSalvatore]

@Elisabeth A report would be awesome! I am a bit scared of getting 5meo dmt since it is illegal, so I was hoping to go to some ceremony in another country. Are there many ceremonies in Czech?

[Elisabeth]

On 11. 5. 2019 at 10:16 AM, Leo Gura said:

@Elisabeth Say Hi to God for us

@ValiantSalvatore @abrakamowse @Samra So we did a nice private ceremony with my bf and the shaman, but I didn't meet God. I think I was not able to smoke enough of that stuff (I think the shaman burns 100-200mg of frog secret, depending on your intention and his judgement, so a fairly large dose, but I coughed some out). So my experience was nice and relaxing, but no life-changing insights.

I first did "half" of a dose to relax and familiarize myself with the substance. This led to a nice blissful experience. The shaman helps guide the experience by playing Tibetan bowls, which sound almost out of this world beautiful, when you are in it. About 30 minutes later I did a "full" dose (minus what I couldn't smoke). This was less blissful and a bit more confusing, but mostly - I couldn't/didn't want to move, the mind was talking only every now and then, and I felt kinda my usual emotional mixture. Maybe it was the disappointment that nothing really extraordinary will happen creeping in. My ego definitely stayed there throughout. After the ceremony, I experienced enhancement in tactile (and other kinds of) sensitivity, and then I needed a very long nights sleep.

Today I'm feeling a bit sad and tired and still sensitive, and perhaps bit more openminded/malleable than usually. I don't even feel like any particular topics (aside from the sadness) are coming up, but you can probably use these doses to tackle some of your "stuck" places in the days after.

Overall I'm a bit disappointed, but what happened was well within my risk profile - I knew it's possible that I won't be able to smoke it or that the dose is not a breakthrough dose.

If you're gonna get 5-MeO, I certainly recommend synthetic & a more reliable method of administration. For me, I feel this is probably not the way to go. I'll see if I can get anything interesting from the afterglow of the session. Maybe I'll do some more psychedelic experiments, maybe not, not sure. I got much from my holotropic breathwork sessions, so I'm doing one more this summer - it was meant for integrating whatever comes up with the frog, but as it is, I'll choose a standalone intention for it  

Edited August 6, 2019 by Elisabeth

[outlandish]

@Elisabeth Thanks for remembering to follow up with this report here!

I'm sure you know this, but perhaps it helps to hear it again from a stranger on the internet: Don't be discouraged, you can't force these experiences and there is not guarantee that they occur even in the best circumstances. All you can do is create the likely situation for it to happen, and if it does, it does. If not, it's no matter and you keep doing your practice.

I agree that synthetic is probably more reliable (and less cruel). I wouldn't give up on 5-MeO-DMT after one disappointing experience, but of course that's your call. It definitely takes most people at least a few psychedelic sessions just to acclimatize to that kind of experience anyways. For me it took about 20 years between the first time I tried a psychedelic and until I had a full fledged breakthrough experience - although I definitely had tastes of it along the way, and piles of insight and growth.

[ValiantSalvatore]

@Elisabeth Thanks for the report ! I looked into a couple of retreats that are available in Germany and the Netherlands, yet also with the bufo alvarius toad or MEO Hemmer IIRC. It sounds still humane, I am a bit suprised that it seems so normal, I tried LSD quite often now. I did not think 5-MeO can also be so normal without ego death. I also never experienced it. 

[abrakamowse]

Thanks @Elisabeth !!! Nice report!

[Elisabeth]

 

 

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3 hours ago, outlandish said:

 I wouldn't give up on 5-MeO-DMT after one disappointing experience, but of course that's your call. 

Thanks for your post. Yeah, you're right, put that way, that would be foolish. But I don't feel up to getting the synthetic form. I think it's "legal" in the sense of "grey zone" in my country - nobody thought about banning this particular form, though of course DMT is banned - but I'm pretty sure ordering it from somewhere is risky. I don't feel up to any legal trouble. Also, intuition isn't calling me to do it. I'm going to try some more other practice.

[outlandish]

Yes! It's important to listen to your intuition in these matters. Best luck to you.

[Elisabeth]

So, I must continue my report by stating that combining the bufo ceremony with double holotropic breathwork afterwards proved quite powerful (i.e., it's fun, but if you don't have three weeks of vacation like me, I probably wouldn't recommend it). 

My breathwork sessions tend to lead to quite pronounced physical cleaning processes (coughing, see my bookmarks for past reports), so that happened again, just coming from a slightly different part of the body than before. Yet this time, I didn't get into an altered state easily, it kept feeling like work throughout, and after the session, the process didn't feel like finished.

Then the next day after breathwork, I more or less spontaneously (triggered by some noise) fell into an altered state of consciousness. It was a beautiful state mostly, when I sat down in meditation, it felt like floating around, very very sensitive and subtle. Every now and then, cleansing continued, I focused on it gently, after all I wanted to finish the process from the breathwork sessions (and I'm quite sure the process wanted to be finished). It lasted for maybe 3 hours? I had my boyfriend, and then a facilitator being there for me. I consider that state a gift from the frog. 

In the days after, I had enhanced sensory sensitivity (or so it felt like), and the world seemed beautiful, I think I also had a few more occasions of "floating away" a little bit, then later I also had some mood swings from ecstatic to numb/depressed and glitches in my logical thinking abilities and memory. I also had a few hours of clarity and inspiration. I had been a few times unusually kind to strangers with no effort. Psychological stuff seems easier to open, though not necessarily easier to work through because of lack of focus - the mind will jump. There are some of my issues that I wasn't able to tackle despite these altered states of consciousness, and some that seem to have changed in a very short time. It really feels a bit like the brain/personality rewiring itself, with me being able to help a bit by making space, but having little influence on the outcome (the old self lacks the wisdom). 

Will any change stick? I need not judge prematurely.