Bufo Alvarius (5-MeO-DMT) ceremony right under my nose. Should I go?

[Elisabeth]

Ok I know this is kind of a stupid question since no one else but me can really know if I'm ready or not, but I'd still like some informed opinions - please point out the obvious to me. 

It seems there's a bit of a 'transpersonal' community in my city and I got close enough to these people to learn about a Mexican shaman visiting and doing a Bufo Alvarius ceremony. This time I passed (it would be a last minute decision), but I know he'll be coming again in just two months and it got me thinking if I should go. 

I've never done psychedelics though. 

Pros:

• I'm really curious. Leo sings praise about the personal development psychedelics can give, which would be great, but mostly I'm just really curious about the workings of the mind and what effect this would have on me
• Doing a ceremony with a shaman means I've basically got a sitter if anything goes wrong
• I don't know for how long will this window of opportunities be open, maybe I shouldn't hesitate too long
• My boyfriend did it today and he's still alive, lol

Cons:

• No control over the dosage (up to the shaman I assume)
• I'm really inexperienced, maybe I should start with some milder psychedelics to see how I react

Doubts:

• I have a history of mild to moderate mental health issues. Depression, anxiety, rapid mood swings. No psychosis. I'm currently without medication and more or less stable, but not confident in my stability, meaning that there's a not-so-small chance that I do get destabilized (over-emotional or lost in obsedant thinking) for a few weeks. My phd studies require a lot of concentration, so getting destabilized would first and foremost mean that I'm not able to do physics and possibly get fired/ loose funding. The last one is a serious real-world concern - I'm not really worried about the emotional states I could encounter, but how it would affect my ability to work/survive.

But I know this fear can't hold me back forever. I'm motivated to learn about reality now. 

So what do you think, should I take this opportunity to experience 5-meo, or should I forget it for the next year or two at least and babystep my way up? If the later, what are some steps I could take to be more ready? 

[Leo Gura]

@Elisabeth Why don't you ask your bf?

[Elisabeth]

1 minute ago, Leo Gura said:

@Elisabeth Why don't you ask your bf?

Of course I did and I will. But his experience is not necessarily very relevant to mine. First, he's got 10 years of practice with holotropic breathwork and altered states of consciousness, I just don't. Second, he's a different personality type - very thrill-seeking. He'll tell me to go for it, but I also know he tends to ignore the risks. 

[Samra]

@Elisabeth I'm in a similar situation as you. I'm thinking of doing couple of things first. 1. Do a Vipasana retreat successfully. 2. Do another ayahuasca ceremony. 3. Do a lesser substance first to familiarize to the state of mind. That being said , I'm kinda in talks with a shaman n my chemist friend about 1:1  5 meo ceremony already, cause I just can't wait. I'll be interested to see which one of us does it first, and how was it. 

[Leo Gura]

Your life will never be the same again after a breakthrough on 5-MeO.

[Elisabeth]

16 hours ago, DrMobius said:

Avoid 5-MeO-DMT if you're not already very experienced with psychedelics. I'm not saying it's not worth it, because it definitely is. But right now, trust me, you can't even begin to imagine how utterly intense it is. It's better to start with lesser substances, at least until the point where you're at complete ease with being in an altered state of mind.

I hear you. It seems you can't really prepare for a breakthrough on 5-MeO anyway. But likely a careful path is my path. 

6 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Your life will never be the same again after a breakthrough on 5-MeO.

So you don't seem to have strong opinions, either about starting out with the psychedelic toad directly or about a shaman-guided ceremony.

6 hours ago, Samra said:

@Elisabeth I'm in a similar situation as you. I'm thinking of doing couple of things first. 1. Do a Vipasana retreat successfully. 2. Do another ayahuasca ceremony. 3. Do a lesser substance first to familiarize to the state of mind. That being said , I'm kinda in talks with a shaman n my chemist friend about 1:1  5 meo ceremony already, cause I just can't wait. I'll be interested to see which one of us does it first, and how was it. 

I'm thinking now I'll go do holotropic breathwork first, before psychedelics. It's legal and the process is more under conscious control. So if you're really eager, maybe you'll be first (unless I do do a last minute decision next time, as I feel big chunks of the fear melting away ) ... I'll be watching for your post!

Edited February 4, 2018 by Elisabeth

[Samra]

3 minutes ago, Elisabeth said:

... I'll be watching for your post!

It's a deal  Update me as well please! 

[Shin]

Edited February 4, 2018 by Shin

[Hsinav]

How bad do you want truth?

[SgtPepper]

I personally have not taken 5-meo, but from the research I have done, you should be pretty much be ready to die (not literally), its the ultimate surrender. Previous psychedelic experience may or may not help, so I am not sure it matters. Just be ready for an intense life changing event and let go.

Be mindful that other traditional medicines such as psilocybin mushrooms, peyote, and ayahuasca can be also be healing and life changing. 

[Gabriel Antonio]

I have had horrible experiences with some so-called Shamans. Sometimes the dosage is too high.

And they keep telling that you have bad spirits.

I always suspect on those "you gotta go" type of thing. I probably wouldn't go and baby step my way through it. 

[SgtPepper]

32 minutes ago, DrMobius said:

Just being ready to die? That would be too easy.

On 5-MeO you can have the certainty to be locked in this state for eternity! That's worse than death in many regards if you're not ok with it.

Surrendering to death is the first step, surrendering to eternal obliteration is the second. That's the kind of things one deals with on strong doses, and shamans do like them strong doses (especially smoked, the intensity is unfathomable).

Be very ready.

Hehe  forgive my ignorance. 

[Elisabeth]

I managed to meet my boyfriend today (a day after). He looks very soft and peaceful. Not shocked by the experience (likely not his first ego death). He described kinda vanishing and then slowly coming back to see a mind completely standing still. I asked if he was afraid of dying (as it seems to be common here), and he said no, but that he's been through that kind of experience earlier with holotropic breathwork. 

It nearly convinced me to just go, hehe, but as I am writing this I'm remembering that I'm in a completely different place then he is. 

[Elisabeth]

7 minutes ago, DrMobius said:

I would be interested to know what dosage he went with, if you know. Small doses are not that overwhelming, it's true.

Unfortunately, I don't know. Maybe I'll try to contact the shaman to ask about the dosage. But the substance is smoked, so it also depends on how much you can inhale. One of the downsides of this setup.

[Leo Gura]

Why not start with 1g of mushrooms first?

If you gonna get into psychedelics, do it properly. Which means you don't do 1 trip, you plan on exploring the field.

[playdoh]

@Leo Gura

On 2/4/2018 at 7:28 AM, Leo Gura said:

Your life will never be the same again after a breakthrough on 5-MeO.

How so? Please do explain. 

[Recursoinominado]

2 hours ago, playdoh said:

@Leo Gura

How so? Please do explain. 

I am interested in this too.

I have experience with LSD, mushrooms and ayahuasca but i have DMT and never had the balls to go all the way, the intensity is overwhelming because of how fast the trip hits you, i tried a few times but one hit is enough to scare me lol although the experience is AWESOME.  Saw spirits/ghosts/entities for the first time

[allislove]

My first psychedelic experience was 5meo-dmt smoking (around 50mg).

I took a strength assessment half a year before a trip:


 

and took it again 2 weeks after the trip:

Just felt like to share. 

Edited April 28, 2019 by dimitri

[Elisabeth]

I've decided now to go for the ceremony. I want to set the date probably for sometime in July, if possible. I feel ready for the insight, but I need to make some space in my life for integration.

@dimitri I'd just give you a like if there were any. 

[abrakamowse]

@playdoh I am not experienced in 5-MeO but it is said that 5-MeO will kill your ego instantly. You have to be prepared to such experience.

It's like dying to your false self. And see the naked truth.