What am I missing?

[Truth Addict]

Alright.

I've been meditating for a while, and also trying to get to enlightenment.

My problem is that it doesn't click.

Conceptually: I understand that I'm not my mind, nor my thoughts. I understand that I have no clue about me, nor about reality. I understand that I'm not the brain, nor the body. I am the observer of the observation aka consciousness.

So what am I and who am I? I still think of the answer conceptually, it doesn't work.

And in fact it's quite annoying that oneday I felt like I was about to get hit by the truth, it felt overwhelming, came from every corner, was about to hit me, then all of sudden disappeared and left me wandering.

What have I missed that day? And what am I missing all the way?

Please help.

[Nahm]

@Truth Addict How long have you being doing daily meditation? What other practices have you been doing?   

I wouldn’t meditate to get to enlightenment. Eventually, you’ll have little to no monkey mind, then no chatter in there at all. At that point, take a trip, or buckle down with the practices for the long haul. If someone has yet to have an enlightenment experience, and it trying to, that is the mind pushing it’s agenda, in a sneaky way, but the mind is pushing a concept or idea of something it has no experience of, thus confirming a falsity, and keeping the actual experience away. 

You could be looking at years of practices, even with trips. 

It’s very worth it, imo. 

[Truth Addict]

@Nahm

I'm not sure when I started meditating, probably nearly two months.

I don't do any specific technique, I just let go and focus my attention on my sensations (mostly breathing) and when I get the complete no chatter phase I turn my focus on nothing.

Actually I started to feel more relaxed and rational in my ordinary life. Also I started to have more control over my behaviors and decisions.

And yes I think that the mind is trying to push it's agenda. But at the same time I'm burning inside to get enlightened. I want to experience the truth that all of you folks talk about.

I appreciate your opinion.

[Leo Gura]

@Truth Addict It doesn't click because the mind is still wandering and conceptualizing too much.

The whole secret to self-inquiry is 100-hours of laser focus. It can take 100 hours of sitting and doing nothing just to get the mind to calm down. And then the real work begins.

Scheduling week-long retreats is one of the most effective things you can do if you want enlightenment.

What I also find very necessary is undermining your entire materialist paradigm of reality. There is so much conceptual baggage there which weighs down your meditation capacity. It's rather pointless to meditate if all the while you sit there holding yourself as a brain inside a physical universe. That illusion of "physicality" needs to be cracked wide open. Of course psychedelics are wonderful for that.

[egoless]

@Truth Addict It is as simple as: 

Are you aware?

What happened to your attention when you answered this question?

where did you go?

[Ocean]

@Truth Addict

The new buzz word, mindfulness, may be more helpful than meditation.

Meditation is great for the mind and body but it might takes a while (or never) as what you end up doing is watching the world in a very specific way - not in all it's glory within daily activities while your thoughts and emotions react to it - those are the times we could put inquiry to better use - either in the moment or later. Who am I, not this, not that etc.

I also recommend using the mind's logic and honesty to discover what the mind itself is blocking so that one can see things clearly. This can't be done in the mind alone and thats why some say write it out int he physcial world. Like a diary of uncovering the blocks, where each new attempt destroys a past truth you held true. Drugs will only give you expereinces, and if you're not careful they will be elevated to something special and do more harm than good in uncovering the false.

The fact that you say "and also trying to get to enlightenment."  is making it into something that it isn't and therefore easily missed by the luring lights of mayas illusion.

Do you really want to see the true nature of reality? Even if costs you everything, including all your fun beliefs and emotional reactions to life?

If it's just another ego notch on the bed post, the energy you spend on it could be better spent elsewhere.

[Truth Addict]

23 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

@Truth Addict It doesn't click because the mind is still wandering and conceptualizing too much.

The whole secret to self-inquiry is 100-hours of laser focus. It can take 100 hours of sitting and doing nothing just to get the mind to calm down. And then the real work begins.

Scheduling week-long retreats is one of the most effective things you can do if you want enlightenment.

What I also find very necessary is undermining your entire materialist paradigm of reality. There is so much conceptual baggage there which weighs down your meditation capacity. It's rather pointless to meditate if all the while you sit there holding yourself as a brain inside a physical universe. That illusion of "physicality" needs to be cracked wide open. Of course psychedelics are wonderful for that.

Yes I think I need to do some long retreat, but it's not possible right now because I have my college and my job and I need money. As for conceptualizing everything, that's the only way I used to look at things through, it might take some time to break this addiction.

Psychedelics are not an option for me (at least right now), I want this process to happen naturally and I'm not in a rush, though I'm dying to know the Truth. Eventually I will use some of them, but for now I'm not ready yet.

Thank you Leo ?

21 hours ago, egoless said:

@Truth Addict It is as simple as: 

Are you aware?

What happened to your attention when you answered this question?

where did you go?

Actually it doesn't work on me anymore, it used to work many times before because I was searching for how to become enlightened. Now I use to conceptualize the answer automatically. This situation sucks, but thanks anyways.

21 hours ago, Ocean said:

@Truth Addict

The new buzz word, mindfulness, may be more helpful than meditation.

Meditation is great for the mind and body but it might takes a while (or never) as what you end up doing is watching the world in a very specific way - not in all it's glory within daily activities while your thoughts and emotions react to it - those are the times we could put inquiry to better use - either in the moment or later. Who am I, not this, not that etc.

I also recommend using the mind's logic and honesty to discover what the mind itself is blocking so that one can see things clearly. This can't be done in the mind alone and thats why some say write it out int he physcial world. Like a diary of uncovering the blocks, where each new attempt destroys a past truth you held true. Drugs will only give you expereinces, and if you're not careful they will be elevated to something special and do more harm than good in uncovering the false.

The fact that you say "and also trying to get to enlightenment."  is making it into something that it isn't and therefore easily missed by the luring lights of mayas illusion.

Do you really want to see the true nature of reality? Even if costs you everything, including all your fun beliefs and emotional reactions to life?

If it's just another ego notch on the bed post, the energy you spend on it could be better spent elsewhere.

Okay thanks I'll try mindfulness meditation for a week and see the difference.

Every time I self-inquire I discover some new obstacles to knowing the Truth, it'll be useful to list them, so yeah I agree.

Most of my beliefs about reality have collapsed after I watched the "Self-Deception" series for Leo. Still I fall back from time to time, but generally I understand that it's just a deception, it's not real, it's only happening in my mind, which enlightened people say it doesn't even exist, and I can relate to that possibility too because I know there's no proof of the brains either. This series helped me to break many many addictions. It's good to know the Truth.

So I think it's a matter of time.

Thanks for your help ?

Edited February 4, 2018 by Truth Addict

[egoless]

@Truth Addict don’t think through it. Are you aware? This is simple question which doesn’t require concepts and thinking. 

If you have monkey mind go meditate then. That will help you.

[Truth Addict]

40 minutes ago, egoless said:

@Truth Addict don’t think through it. Are you aware? This is simple question which doesn’t require concepts and thinking. 

If you have monkey mind go meditate then. That will help you.

@egoless

Of course, that's why I ask myself after meditating.

Thanks again ?