The more I grow, the more I get outcast

[Pallero]

22 hours ago, Max_V said:

Have to get used to it I guess, but it still hurts a lot

Yes. It does.

In a way, I'm very fortunate, because I've been an outcast since I was a child. I was always different, never had many friends. Always enjoyed time by myself, doing my own art and things.

I also happen to live in a culture where solitude is kind of a norm so it's easier for me.

I don't know where you live, but I imagine it must be very hard. If you want, you can make it easier by forcing yourself to do things alone that scare you, such as going to a restaurant, to the movies, travelling... If you haven't done so already, this will build your self-confidence quickly.

But it will be painful anyway.

Actually, I find it quite easy to be alone when no one ever understands me anyway. Anytime I try to socialize, people get bored talking to me or whatever, because I'm so different. So I actually end up wanting to be alone!

[Socrates]

@Leo Gura I've been aiming to do that since 2016 and everyone I encounter is not even interested in basic personal development work. I haven't even found a person that is pushing himself and having fun in crazy ways like me let alone do any amount of personal development work. I just encounter lazy fucks that want to sit on the sofa and watch tv with chips and coke or boring uni students that are so bland i cant even make small talk with them which somehow makes sense since that's what the mediocre majority does.

So it is probably because:

• I have my standards too high
• I somehow repel people (maybe too aggressive, too assertive)
• My action is inadequate
• I don't know how and where to find them

It is not a small deed to find like-minded people from my perspective, how would you go ahead and do that?

[Max_V]

@Leo Gura What are your go-to places to meet higher consciousness people?

I go to Rupert Spira satsangs twice a year, so that could be a good starting point.

 

[Leo Gura]

I'm not really the best person to ask because I'm quite reclusive. I don't socialize much.

But if I were in your shoes, I would expose myself to more of the right environments.

Join yoga classes, move to a hip city like Austin, join meditation centers, go to seminars, go to satsangs, etc.

If you go to a Tony Robbin's seminar -- for example -- you'll probably meet a lot of cool people there.

You can even meet girls at Wholefoods. They are into health.

Here's a biz idea: Tinder for conscious people

[Shin]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

 

Here's a biz idea: Tinder for conscious people

Already exist, it's called «meetmindful» or something like that.

[Saumaya]

On 01/02/2018 at 0:46 PM, Max_V said:

Since getting on the path of self-actualization and consciousness-work, I’ve made some big changes in my life that most people can’t stomach and find weird.

Meditating, eating healthy, being authentic, etc.

It seems the more I grow, the more I become an outcast and lose friends. I know this is part of the Hero’s journey and will inevitably happen, but do you guys have some tips on how to stomach this pain of being found weird?

You make it sound like your doing "special things" that separates you from other people. Do meditation if you want, eating healthy should be very natural and authenticity is a by product of being honest with yourself which should also be very natural. Being a "better self" is great but a tougher challenge is to mesh with people and talk to anyone whoever they are and wherever they are coming from and not making any judgements. Also if people cant be open to this "Better self" then its better to cut them off( This very rarely happens). Weirdness is a numbers game anyway, people live in a socially accepted levels of madness. Don't be afraid to be weird.

Edited February 17, 2018 by Saumaya

[Max_V]

@Saumaya Great comment.

I do unconsciously hold the belief that what I'm doing is somehow special and makes me 'superior' than someone who is not busy developing them-self in some way. I can be quite honest about that. I just don't know how to break that belief and actually start seeing everyone as equal, regardless of what they believe or not believe, do or not do.

How do I do that?

[Moreira]

I'm also called weird by the fact that I refuse shallow talk and other social conventions that arent useful. Breaking the conditioning is seen as weird from the outside.

[Saumaya]

8 minutes ago, Max_V said:

@Saumaya Great comment.

I do unconsciously hold the belief that what I'm doing is somehow special and makes me 'superior' than someone who is not busy developing them-self in some way. I can be quite honest about that. I just don't know how to break that belief and actually start seeing everyone as equal, regardless of what they believe or not believe, do or not do.

How do I do that?

@Max_V Its very simple, you want certain results, so you're doing certain things. Other people unconsciously or consciously want other kinds of result, and they're doing certain other things. Your just happens to be eating healthy, meditating etc. Its all the same, there no purpose to life so you create your own purpose or results that you want.There is nothing special about anything for anyone whatsoever(not just you). I think this should help

[Shin]

13 minutes ago, Max_V said:

@Saumaya Great comment.

I do unconsciously hold the belief that what I'm doing is somehow special and makes me 'superior' than someone who is not busy developing them-self in some way. I can be quite honest about that. I just don't know how to break that belief and actually start seeing everyone as equal, regardless of what they believe or not believe, do or not do.

How do I do that?

It will just happen.

You'll just see no interest in judging.
If you stop judging you stop putting yourself on a pedestal.

Will still happen from time to time, the self LOVES to think he's so special, of course it does, otherwise it couldn't continue to exist  

[Epiphany_Inspired]

@Max_V This Dalai lama quote kind of explains the desire: “We human beings are social beings. We come into the world as the result of others’ actions. We survive here in dependence on others. Whether we like it or not, there is hardly a moment of our lives when we do not benefit from others’ activities. For this reason, it is hardly surprising that most of our happiness arises in the context of our relationships with others.”

I know it's a painful one, but I really like this thread....because so many of us can relate.  As a fellow hermit, I do agree with what others have said about becoming content with your own company...but I also know that we are social creatures...here's a random idea...What could you maybe do at lunch (in addition to eating) that you might find fun? ...something part of your development, something you care about/ in universal service? Perhaps if you had a rad activity like this to look forward to.... perhaps it would bring you joy on your own, perhaps others would want to help, perhaps not... The point being that your mind and heart are occupied with something other than loneliness, or lack.... I don't know... But also agree, like minded friends are out there for you, maybe just fewer in numbers, but worth any effort to discover

 

[Lynnel]

On 02/02/2018 at 0:18 PM, Leo Gura said:

Here's a biz idea: Tinder for conscious people

I am still waiting for someone who's life purpose is to do that for friendships ( based on people's awareness level/spiral dynamics level maybe ?)

That would be phenomenal !

I'm calling it now someone is going to try that for sure.

[Max_V]

@Lynnel Have you thought of the possibility that this could be your life calling  ?

Feeling the need of having something on the marketplace or in society, could be a good clue as to what you want to give back to the world.

@Saumaya I really like that approach. Everyone is just putting their mind and imagination towards what they want to accomplish.

The thing here is that I hugely underestimate how ignorant I am as supposed to other people that are living a totally different way. When I see someone getting smashed on the weekends and talking shit about other people behind their back, this huge sensation in my stomach comes up, I start thinking hateful about that person as to how ignorant and petty he is 

Deep in my heart I know this is wrong since this person just doesn't know what he is doing and is suffering but I find it hard to be compassionate towards them

I just want to be able to be compassionate towards everyone and wish them the best because I feel really passionate about that but these feelings of hate and comparing their actions as supposed to my actions really gets in the way.

@Shin I have resistance to waiting for me to start feeling this way naturally though.

I want to act compassionately towards everyone starting right now. But there is just so much things blocking my way, as I pointed out above.

[Shin]

50 minutes ago, Lynnel said:

I am still waiting for someone who's life purpose is to do that for friendships ( based on people's awareness level/spiral dynamics level maybe ?)

That would be phenomenal !

I'm calling it now someone is going to try that for sure.

Maybe it's yours  

@Max_V Fake it until you make it then.

Maybe it can be done this way I don't know.

[Max_V]

@Shin Will give it a shot.

 

[Saumaya]

6 minutes ago, Max_V said:

@Lynnel

@Saumaya I really like that approach. Everyone is just putting their mind and imagination towards what they want to accomplish.

The thing here is that I hugely underestimate how ignorant I am as supposed to other people that are living a totally different way. When I see someone getting smashed on the weekends and talking shit about other people behind their back, this huge sensation in my stomach comes up, I start thinking hateful about that person as to how ignorant and petty he is 

Deep in my heart I know this is wrong since this person just doesn't know what he is doing and is suffering but I find it hard to be compassionate towards them

I just want to be able to be compassionate towards everyone and wish them the best because I feel really passionate about that but these feelings of hate and comparing their actions as supposed to my actions really gets in the way.

@Shin I have resistance to waiting for me to start feeling this way naturally though.

I want to act compassionately towards everyone starting right now. But there is just so much things blocking my way, as I pointed out above.

@Max_V I think you should play with the ideas of wrongness and rightness. The answer is that right and wrong are relative and do not exist. Whenever you start feeling that hate, just know that there is nothing right or wrong about this action I'm hating. Contemplate why you are feeling that hate and SEE that its just an illusion.

[Lynnel]

@Shin Nah it's totaly not. My life purpose is inspiring people to a life worth living

@Max_V Yeah I know I like mentionned five times that would be very usefull to do but this is way outside of what I'm planning to do with my life ! That would never ever be my greatest gift to this world.

[Extreme Z7]

On 2/1/2018 at 3:16 PM, Max_V said:

It seems the more I grow, the more I become an outcast and lose friends. I know this is part of the Hero’s journey and will inevitably happen, but do you guys have some tips on how to stomach this pain of being found weird?

Embrace your weirdness