The more I grow, the more I get outcast

[Max_V]

Since getting on the path of self-actualization and consciousness-work, I’ve made some big changes in my life that most people can’t stomach and find weird.

Meditating, eating healthy, being authentic, etc.

It seems the more I grow, the more I become an outcast and lose friends. I know this is part of the Hero’s journey and will inevitably happen, but do you guys have some tips on how to stomach this pain of being found weird?

[Pallero]

@Max_V Well, you're not alone, that's for sure. There's a bunch of us outcast weirdos here.

I haven't found any other better way to deal with it than just to get used to it. It's an acquired taste, but you can actually learn to enjoy being different. Unique. At least they finally leave you alone and stop bugging you with their stupid jokes, lol.

Realize that it's painful, because you want to be accepted and liked, and realize that it's overrated.

[Max_V]

@Pallero Yes, it’s especially painful since I used to be a people-pleaser, always wanting everyone to like me and wanting to be approved of.

But now that I really let go of this habit, the results really starts to show as in that people actually start to dislike me for becoming more authentic.

Have to get used to it I guess, but it still hurts a lot

[Charlotte]

@Max_V  I'm in the same boat as you BUT I don't have any friends because they all drink and party and I chose not to be a part of the culture. Same goes with my partner, he wants to go out drinking and I'm at home. Same as family get togethers, over Christmas etc, people tried to pressure me and was constantly questioning me as to why I don't drink or party anymore (it used to be quite heavy for myself). 

 

To be honest, it's not up to them to work out why I am the why I am now, I just am and they have to get used to it, tough shit. If they can't they'll leave my life and that's up to them. It's my journey, not theirs. 

 

As a previous poster highlighted it can start to feel enjoyable being a little different, unique. I totally agree! At least your not a sheep following the flock, you've stepped out of it and decided to go alone. Good for you! Takes courage and bravery. 

[fmuninja]

I started to notice the same, especially when i changed my diet to vegetarian (+ fish only). It is good to feel authentic but on the other side is a bit hard to deal with what other thinks of it.

[Joseph Maynor]

When you're alone it's a lot easier to be aware.  People can be distracting.  I am 100% at peace just being alone.  

Edited February 1, 2018 by Joseph Maynor

[Shroomdoctor]

I had the same struggle. But at the moment, I literally don't Care anymore. I will follow my Dreams and I have the Intuition that the right People to hang out with will reveal themselves to me in time. Fuck Everything else and everyone else. I will not hinder my dreams because of other people. I am the only one to direct my life and I will find others which lifes are similar in time. Until then, I enjoy the extra free time to do what I please. 

[Shin]

Become your best friend

You don't need anyone else but you !

When the time is right you will meet people with similar energy signature, it's only a matter of time.

[Soulbass]

This is just a rule you set to yourself.

Each time you encounter someone in life, consider meeting yourself.

Everything you see/experience in this world is yours.

[Max_V]

@Joseph Maynor True I like being alone a lot too, the difficult part for me is at school though.

I subconsciously still care a lot about if I fit in or not. This is something I struggled with a lot a couple years back, and there is still some residue of it left. It’s just that now I don’t really have anyone to sit with at school anymore wheras before I had a big group. This is just a big pill I have to swallow. 

I’ve committed to this path, and am ready to give up everything for it, but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel the hurt anymore

@Shin I will trust in that.

 

Edited February 1, 2018 by Max_V

[YaNanNallari]

Once you grow enough you'll also learn to fake being "normal" while enjoying yourself so that it won't be an issue. The ones who are saying you're weird are actually being weird when you think about it. They go exactly by what ego tells them and I think you have a clue of how irrational that is. But you don't need to take a stance or say you or them are better. You don't need those friends that hate themselves, actively stay stubborn etc. It can be lonely, but that is fine and there's beauty in that too.

[Samra]

    Yes, losing friends and getting more isolated is what i experience as well. But i don't mind it, I actually enjoy the feeling of solitude, and the free time i have gained.  Also, I have noticed that the quality of my relationships have improved a lot. I make much deeper connection with people, even if I don't see them ever again. The weirder and hardcore they are, the more we attract. I think you should embrace this solitude. Convert it to a creative pursuit if you like. Write, draw, paint,.... a personal project maybe. Remember that things will not stay the same. Use your Opportunity now.  

[Atic]

I'm a literal loner. Well, ever since I got into this. I can remember vividly that my past were normal, I have a set of friends. But as I started to learn more, same way I started to lose them. For me, they don't fit on my values nor I can continue to treat them as if they help me, at least in this journey. Our agenda are world apart. We don't share any similar interest either, especially in my place where spirituality can't be heard from anyone. You'd be lucky to find someone talking about enlightenment or anything existential at my place.

I have some that I consider, however. The reason for that would almost certainly because I need to learn some lesson. They come and go, none stayed (although we can still talk for awhile, but nothing like best friend forever type of thing).

[Max_V]

A while ago I printed out this quote from one of Leo’s videos on Hero’s journey and taped it to the wall.

I become teared up reading this, every time.

 

Edited February 1, 2018 by Max_V

[Ibn Sina]

The norm of the majority is militant hedonism I.e partying, sex, beauty ,seeking power ,money, pleasure , gossip,  pleasure of the senses, to eat tasty and listen songs, to touch soft and taste sweet ,and all this  as Leo puts it, creates a life of desperation and suffering which majority live.

The path of wisdom is narrow , but worth it. Chaos is in desire for company. Beauty is in solitude. To love others first love thyself. We are born alone and we die alone, we are always alone and not being alone is an illusion. That way lies peace. That way lies nirvana and bliss.

Edited February 1, 2018 by Ibn Sina

[Adam M]

Try finding an online meeting group in your area of people that are into spirituality like you are and there is a chance that you will meet some people that you can share your development with! I'm likely to do this very soon

[Psyche_92]

8 hours ago, Max_V said:

It seems the more I grow, the more I become an outcast and lose friends.

Ha this is what happened to me too. It was also the best things that happened to me, and i'm not looking back. Don't fall for this trap your ego is setting up for you, keep going. Of course you will become an outcast when you stop following the herd like a sheep and take a right turn when all of them go left, that's exactly how they should react. Become your own best friend and embrace the loneliness, it's the best thing ever. You will get to a place where you don't depend on anyone or anything for your happiness and that will be the source where everything starts to sprout from. 

Edited February 1, 2018 by Psyche_92

[Shin]

What we don't necessarily think about, is that in time, as more people come here and other similar forums/online community

A lot of genuine friendship will be made in the long run

Edited February 1, 2018 by Shin

[d0ornokey]

in my experience, you just need to network. I've met lots of people into what I'm into. Though challenging to find a relationship that clicks AND is healthy. They also may not be into EVERYTHING you're into, but 50% of the stuff is good enough. Make some moves 

Edited February 1, 2018 by d0ornokey

[Leo Gura]

Aim to cultivate a few key friendships with high consciousness people and find a high consciousness gf/bf.