Being obsessed with someone

[Dessehead]

Greetings everyone.
I've been following Leo for quite some time, and i can say that he's really done some serious work on understanding how things work inside our head. And as such, he inspired me to start researching about a deep addiction problem that many people recognize as the most beautiful thing in the world: Unrequited love.
Or should i give it a more direct name: Obsession over a person
Obsessing over someone is the most fucked up thing that you can do to yourself. It's nothing different than a drug which destroys the present moment and distorts the actual person. I can tell you my personal story, how it managed to fuck up most of my friendships with many girls.
So i'm here to ask all of you people, has anyone experienced this addiction?
And if you have, how did you manage to overcome it?

[Zephyr]

Yup it's pretty fucked up bro

[Guest Quanty]

If the other person who you love does not recognize the love or reciprocal feeling, then the faster you get out of that the better. Because it can waste so much time of your life, oh man. And in the end, what really matters is you, not the love for another. 

 

Blessings

[Dessehead]

I define love as something you can always give and get more of. But it gets wrong when you actually expect people to return love to you, just because you love them.That's what created the obsession in me, the belief that i will be loved back if i love someone.
I'm glad i got out of it, thank God.

[Nahm]

@Dessehead Yeah. Most people get their heart broken. Most people learn it was their own misunderstanding, a belief, that the love they feel comes from another person. 

The weird thing about a belief, is the holder considers it to be the truth. Therefore, they don’t connect the dots that their belief, is causing their suffering.  They appear completely unrelated, until the holder does self inquiry.

[Moreira]

this is called oneitis

have a read https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2010/09/21/curing-oneitis/

[ADD]

2 hours ago, Moreira said:

this is called oneitis

have a read https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2010/09/21/curing-oneitis/

Very good article. Thanks.

[lilacwest]

Unfortunately, I have been obsessed with someone many times. The person from most recently, I thought it would never end. It was incredibly fucked up and I felt I couldn't escape. Then my psychiatrist prescribed Olanzapine. It works. I never thought I'd see the day. If anyone suffers from an unrequited attraction, I recommend seeing a doctor to see if there is something to help you with the obsession. 

[kieranperez]

On 3/5/2018 at 4:42 AM, Dessehead said:

I define love as something you can always give and get more of. But it gets wrong when you actually expect people to return love to you, just because you love them.That's what created the obsession in me, the belief that i will be loved back if i love someone.
I'm glad i got out of it, thank God.

Your beliefs are not what’s true.

True love is indiscriminate and is absolutely infinite 

[Torkys]

On 3/5/2018 at 4:19 PM, Nahm said:

Most people learn it was their own misunderstanding, a belief, that the love they feel comes from another person.

So true, @Nahm!

I was experiencing an insanely heavy crush for 1,5 months, it ended like 20 days ago, I still haven't recovered completely. I learned that you actually you want the emotion (whatever he/she can provide), not the person - if it weren't for your desires, he/she would mean nothing to you but the nature of obsession makes this really hard to spot. The person you are obsessed with is just a trigger that 99% of people refuse to exhaust.

You recover by exhausting the trigger which, of course, you don't want because these are emotions you actually want.

[Nahm]

@Torkys Very insightful man. ❤️

[Nahm]

@Torkys Very insightful man. ❤️

[LastThursday]

Ah... limerance. There is only one way out. Cut off the source of the obsession, or in other words cold turkey, absolute zero contact. Eventually, sanity returns and you are yourself again.

If you can master this approach to addiction, it gets easier the next time with other addictions - the learning carries over.

But there is something very useful about the limerence experience. It makes you very aware that you construct your reality - and that also you have some control over it. And if you really take that idea to the bitter end, there are no 'other people' and there is no 'you', it's a fabrication.

Edited April 5, 2018 by LastThursday

[Proactive]

This helped me a lot, I was obsessed because I was depending on my friend for love which they cannot ever give enough, only you can do it. I think leo talks about it in this vid. I think obsession comes because you are lacking something you need.