I'm Dying,please,i need to speak to someone

[Vlad Ropotica]

@Serotoninluv i felt that too ,i used to sit 8 hours in meditation,just because it was better than anything else

[Vlad Ropotica]

thank you guys for speaking with me in these moments... but i will have alot more to bear,so please speak with me when you'll wake up ,i've been meditating for aprox 3 years,i saw alot of happines growing but alot of suffering aswel,my only salvation now is that is my struggle to control my suicidal thoughts and the desire to kill myself.

[Vlad Ropotica]

all these three years i saw the suffering continuing to grow ,which means it will continue to grow ,right?

[Vlad Ropotica]

if i manage to live after this ,i think i'll defenetely have serious chronic diseases...

[Heart of Space]

Based on what you are saying.  I think it may be a good idea to get professional outside help.  Take a break from your meditating in the very least.  

Do you have a loved one you can contact?  

Edited January 30, 2018 by Heart of Space

[Vlad Ropotica]

@Heart of Space my mind is obsessed with confessing ,but i must be really careful when i choose the person that hears me , my relatives definetely not

[snowleopard]

Thought of suicide is an attempt at avoidance. There is no avoiding or escaping from this 'dark night of the soul' -- not even in death of the body-form. The soul will remain, and its shadow will follow it. The darkness is an invitation to investigate it. The more it is avoided, the more insistent it will become, until it is investigated full on, no matter how the body-form may be disposed of.  Let the shadow be the guide to the light which exposes the segregated self-identity at the source of all suffering, so that it can be dispelled. Then the body-form is no burden, but just a suit for exploring this relational experience, shadow-free.

[Leo Gura]

@Vlad Ropotica Be careful.

If you cannot meditate in a healthy way, then just stop.

Don't play games here or act macho. You need to evaluate when you've bitten off more than you can chew, and take a step back. There's nothing wrong with that. You can always resume later.

Don't make this into some kind of mad dash to enlightenment. Let it happen organically. We don't want people here hurting themselves with these techniques. It gives this entire field a bad reputation and turns people off.

No responsible teacher or guru would tell you to continue on your current path. You're clearly overdoing it.

There is a big difference between meditating hardcore, and actually considering suicide. Hardcore meditators are NOT suicidal.

[Torkys]

Surrender. The suffering won't pass if you distract yourself. 

Don't wish your death. It won't make it happen because you are holding on. It's a catch 22 because if you desire to not desire your death, you won't die because you desire. 

Sink into it. Meditate. Surrender. 

[Vlad Ropotica]

Ok guys, i'll stop meditating for awhile ,it was too much and i don't want to be in that position ever again

[Vlad Ropotica]

and after this break ,i'll stop meditating for long periods of time

 

[Max_V]

@Vlad Ropotica You can also just take a break for a week or so while being mindful of how you feel throughout your day without meditation.

Then after that you get back into it again but limit the time to an amount that you can handle

[Vlad Ropotica]

Hei guys ! i'm  feeling way better,turns out that i needed to get angry ,alot (i'm still doing it) still ,i'll quit meditation for awhile 

 

Edited January 30, 2018 by Vlad Ropotica

[Vlad Ropotica]

@Leo Gura sorry for this post ,it makes people misjudge meditation ...

[Martin123]

@Vlad Ropotica think its a great post promoting Authenticity man.

[sgn]

Great that you're feeling better

My question is: do you have emotional problems that you're trying to meditate away?

[Vlad Ropotica]

@sgn trying to meditate away ? i see emotional problems as neurosis, if you're you use meditation in moderation (not like me :))  ) it's a fine tool on dealing with them ,i saw that perfectly after my first month of meditation ,the issues came after i started to meditate too much

[phoenix666]

@Vlad Ropotica I know it's easy to say from here, but try to surrender to your negative emotions. let them overflow you. don't resist them or distract yourself on purpose. 

you're not alone! I wish you all the best <3

[sgn]

@Vlad Ropotica I just meant if you have deeper unresolved emotions showing up and if you rely on meditation only for that to be resolved.

[h inandout]

Thanks, it really validated a lot of the shit that's coming up for me.  I have been to kind places in my seeking.  But also a lot of hard ones.  I think there needs to be allowed some space for the subcpncious mind to percolate the strange phenomena that deliver new sensations of conciousness.