I'm Dying,please,i need to speak to someone

[Martin123]

@Vlad Ropotica Love the one who´s afraid to die.

Oh sweet one. I am sorry about how afraid you are.
I love you.
Oh dear one, I am mindful of your worries.
I love you.
Oh beloved one, how may I serve you?
I love you.
Dear one, its okay. I am here to listen to all you have to say.
I love you.


I love you.

[aurum]

@Vlad Ropotica

I've been there, I know that hell. All I can say is it doesn't last.

[Vlad Ropotica]

@Shin i've only found ''dark night of the soul''

[Shin]

Just now, Vlad Ropotica said:

@Shin i've only found ''dark night of the soul''

Oh lol, didn't noticed my error, yeah look at that. 

[Vlad Ropotica]

@aurum the suffering?

 

[Shin]

Suffering is only a misconception of your mind.

The pain you feel is not pain, it is infinite love.

But you're scared about it, so you label it as bad, and then you suffer.

[aurum]

@Vlad Ropotica

Yes the suffering. Like a knife in my chest, worse than anything I had ever experienced. I really wondered if I was dying.

[Vlad Ropotica]

@aurum and what happened next? how are you now?

[Natasha]

1 hour ago, Vlad Ropotica said:

my only hope is that i'll experience the same thing as eckhart tolle

At the peak of his suffering Eckhart uttered in despair, "I can't live with myself any longer". "Who is 'I' and who is 'myself'", the question arose. "Are there two?"

Let this be your clue.

Hugs <3

[aurum]

@Vlad Ropotica

It passed like everything else. Overall my life is better than its ever been, I'm so happy. But it did take time  to get to this point.

 

[Forestluv]

Three times have been so intense I wanted to kill myself because it was the only way to make it stop.

I’ve either struggled like hell for control or surrendered. 

And the worst part was that I was also powerless to kill myself. Full on insanity.

And then it disapoeared and something new arises, which I also don’t have control of.

[Vlad Ropotica]

I feel wierd,i still have some feelings but i don't care what happens to me anymore,i'm not sure what to say

[Forestluv]

1 minute ago, Vlad Ropotica said:

I feel wierd,i still have some feelings but i don't care what happens to me anymore,i'm not sure what to say

Sounds like surrender ?.

Thats when I turned the corner

[Shin]

I had to take a dump.

Is he enlightened yet ?

Edited January 30, 2018 by Shin

[Vlad Ropotica]

every single thought related to me doesn't make sense anymore... it's like i lost interest....

[nightrider1435]

@Shin

[Slade]

2 hours ago, Vlad Ropotica said:

my only hope is that i'll experience the same thing as eckhart tolle  ,but i already experienced ego death several times last week,i'm not sure if it'll ever be permanent

This sounds fucking awesome. Let go. 

[Forestluv]

And there is joy and love as intense as that pain and suffering.

But that comes and goes too ?

[Nahm]

@Vlad Ropotica Elkhart Tolle was highly educated. London & Cambridge. A lot of shit kicked in when he hit rock bottom. Your shit’s gonna kick in too. Don’t “hope” for a Tolle style enlightenment, you’re subconsciously making yourself as miserable as possible. Stop that. We don’t know his story, in any real way. If you experienced ego death last week, then how is it you are so miserable? What you need is to let go of all of this. Just give up and surrender to the moment. Let the concerns go. Relax your body and the mind will follow. You will never have to ‘deal with’ a slice of time larger than this moment. Just this moment, now. That’s all you got to rise to. You totally can man. It will pass, and it will get better. 

What’s really going on? This misery is not unrelative. There is something not working out yet in your life, someone you resent, someone screwed you over. Stop letting them win so to speak. Throw it out here on the forum and watch the response. You’ll be pleasantly surprised. What’s going on man? Talk it right outta ya. Seriously. Suppression builds until it blows. Don’t suppress. Shout it out right now on the forum. We can handle it, and we can help. 

I have been there too. I was 21. I had a kid on the way. She and I lived together, and I did / do have love for her, but I knew she wasn’t the one. I worked in retail, shitty hours and I hated it. I dropped out of college so I could work 2 part time jobs on top of my more than full time job. My boss was like, the opposite of what anyone would want. Total piece of shit. I tried many meds, therapy, etc. Nothing helped. I stood in a cold shower literally beating my head on the wall. I had actually forgotten my first name. I was home, and I went into a full on panic attack about how I ended up in someone’s house, and where are they and all kinds of crazy shit (no, there were no drugs involved). I had nothing, really, that I cared to live for. Except my son on the way. 

 

Then the light. Tiny little fuckin light, bout the size of an atom. Center of my brain. All that light said was - you’re free. 

I immediately realized it was I who got myself there. No one else. Still didn’t know my name, but I knew who fucked me. It was me. 

Then I started to see that if I was powerful enough to fuck up every aspect of my life, without even trying - well - what if I did try? 

I grew that into eating better, exercising, getting promotions, opening my own business, and I’ll never stop. That little tiny light, it’s the entire world now. It’s reality itself. I have never went back there. 

So don’t assess your situation, just vent it out.

Don’t think you know how your life’s gonna go. You don’t. Not a single one of us does.

You’ve been through hell. You’ve seen the depths. It is cosmic and divine, and in perfect order, that when you make it through this - this shit pile of a day - you make it through this....and you’re unstoppable. Nothing will scare, you’ll laugh in it’s face. I promise you, one day, not far from today, people will be inspired by your presence. Your conviction. Your faith because you know. You know you faced the depths, and you’re still standing, and no one will ever have the upper hand. You’ll know. 

But you can’t give up - or you’ll never get to be that Vlad. You can’t give up. 

Relax. Relax. THIS WILL PASS. Relax. 

[Joseph Maynor]

This is what happens when the boss is away huh?  Haha.  The inmates start to run the penitentiary.  

Edited January 30, 2018 by Joseph Maynor