Authenticity (and values) in relationships, relationships as a mirror

[Elisabeth]

@Leo Gura I get the feeling that you've travelled quite a journey since you've shot your 2014-15 videos on relationships. I also see a lot of guys here on the forum emphasizing totally weird values when it comes to relationships, asking if they should behave this way or that way to be attractive "alpha males", vulnerability confused for weakness and all that stuff. 

It's understandable that young people have zero idea what true intimacy looks like. I didn't, either, and I'm sure I still have a long way to go.

IMHO authenticity, balanced with respect and consideration, is the most important trait to good relationships. If I had to date again, I'd choose to pretend as little as possible even in the initial stages. Attraction (charisma) very much hinges on a man really trying to be his best self, for me at least. Confidence and a sense of direction are important, but they cannot and needn't be faked (although being a bit outgoing is important for the very first contacts). 

What's also important (to me) is respect and freedom, which involve accepting the other person's errors (as much as I accept my own) and understanding that they have their own personal journey. Can't change them. I strive to see them as they are instead - to discover the very stubbornness which I admire my partner for when he's working on his goals is the same trait that makes communication difficult at times. 

What constitutes a good relationship in your current understanding? Would you consider updating your dating advice and also talk about what comes after dating?