Everything Collapses

[Vipassana]

I have no idea how to articulate this but i'll give it a try. I've been experiencing moments through out the day where my mundane often overlooked rationalizations and meaning collapses and i often burst into a blissful utterly meaningless laugh or i have moment of self deception where i feel like im deluding myself. I have hundreds of mini insights occurring on the subtle parts of my psyche through out the day although they are very abstract and i cant really recall them. I am basically floating on a psychological trip where shit literally doesn't exist until i put my awareness to it and even that is fallible. I just need some insights on how to become grounded and gain clarity. i've been meditating for about year now, not eating animals even tho i eat vegan junk, and been listening to theory but i also my own addictions and neurosis. i dont really know what answer i am expecting from you guys but lmk if u have any insights on how to understand this mind fuck 

[Joseph Maynor]

Why do you feel ungrounded?

[Vipassana]

@Joseph Maynor probably because of my zen devilry. i m addicted to smoking weed and i justify my addiction using pseudo spirituality

[dorg]

15 hours ago, Vipassana said:

I just need some insights on how to become grounded and gain clarity.

Instead of focusing on the experience, focus on what information each is giving you; ie, that you are essentially not having the experience but witnessing it.

Edited January 30, 2018 by dorg

[Nahm]

@Vipassana You are freeing yourself with your honesty and it’s a beautiful thing. Stay steadfast in your morning daily meditation. Stop eating junk. Junk food fucks the clarity. When the awareness expands, we get pretty frustrated about the hibats we’ve picked up to ease suffering. It’s th rough part, but stay open and honest, be willing to go through the pains. It’s worth it.    Meditation, honesty - two steps forward. Junk food, negative self talk - one step back.