Slipped off my path

[Nathan]

Can I get back on it? What are the repercussions? Reality is starting to feel like a joke that I'm the butt of. 

[Leo Gura]

Be more specific if you want serious advice.

[Faceless]

@NathanThere is no path friend. A path implies an ego who walks it. 

The more you attatch to a path the stronger the self becomes. Also if if you say you fell off that path maybe try something different. Plus if there was no path to fall off of there would  be no conflict ??‍♂️

Edited January 29, 2018 by Faceless

[Nahm]

@Nathan The path to wanted? Like you were eating healthy and then slipped back? Overall consciousness; did the ‘work’, had the results, and it felt so good, maybe you didn’t need the work anymore, but now you’re not feelin so good? Resolved an addiction and fell back into it? What’s going on? It’s anonymous, and only half the feedback will be ridicule so let er rip man. Let’s resolve it with your awareness.

[Nathan]

I surrendered everything, went into flow state and embarked on a journey of sorts with no idea what it entailed, several days/nights passed,during certain periods time stood still completely. At this point it kinda felt like a prolonged acid trip and I freaked, got a lift home from the police saying I had been missing for several days, arrive home "ohhhh it's been 20H not over 100" Haven't been able to keep track of time since. Reality is fucking trippy. Since then I haven't really been able to enter flow, except when I bask in silence, but that's difficult with people around to query it.

[Nathan]

I've been dopped the fuck out on benzos since and my recollection of insights made have been fading. At one point it literally felt like I was one with the mind of god, the only thoughts that enter my head nowadays are music lyrics entirely appropriate for the situation at hand. 

[Nahm]

@Nathan Drugs involved? Just went for like a walkaboute? Was something troubling you at home that led to goin all Forest Gump on it? Is there something you want to be pursing or getting going in your life that you haven’t been able to get yourself to start? Something you know you want to stop doing but just can’t seem to? From what you’ve said so far, sounds like your in one of the harder ages / parts of life, and that led you to act pretty carelessly. If you’re comfy with sharing, how old are you and what’s your living situation?

[Nathan]

24, live with my mother,brother,gf. Didn't take any drugs prior to embarking, but tested positive for heaps of them once I checked into hospital. It's odd, reality can shift and change in an instant I guess, perhaps I've just gone off the deep end though, there's a lot to see down here though ¤.¤

Edited January 29, 2018 by Nathan

[Nahm]

Are you trolling, or just being vague? You took benzos, you didn’t take anything, they were in your system? Are you maybe on a trip now?

[Nathan]

Nevermind I guess.

[eskwire]

@Nathan Don't clam up. You came here to talk to us.

Here's what I think you said happened...

When you left your house, you were sober.

You ended up with a lot of drugs in your system, arrested. 

Now you are back home and taking hella benzos.

If you're faded, you're faded. You're not going to have sharp insights or good memories. 

So, why did you do this? Why did you wander away from home?

[eskwire]

@Nathan Or not arrested, just a ride home? But then you went to the hospital?

Anyway if you want to discuss this in private, you can message me. But we need a clearer picture of what's going on if you want any real advice. 

[Psyche_92]

5 hours ago, Faceless said:

@NathanThere is no path friend. A path implies an ego who walks it. 

The more you attatch to a path the stronger the self becomes. Also if if you say you fell off that path maybe try something different. Plus if there was no path to fall off of there would  be no conflict ??‍♂️

This.

[snowleopard]

@Nathan  The path to freedom is the unentangling of the apparent exclusive segregated self-identity and its various chains of attachments. Meanwhile, life will kick its sorry suffering ass from path to path.

Edited January 29, 2018 by snowleopard

[Nathan]

Can you revive dead threads? Iunno.

I have a recollection of the course of events that transpired. My SELF took my ego/ID on a journey of sorts, showed me that all that is, is a kind of reflection of I, you and I is but a lie.. that time is illusory and the present moment is really all there is.  <~~ can't grasp this at all anymore.

Felt like the god/devil were two sides of the same coin when grounded in duality, both expressed through I. But yeah after a while I flaked out, told heaps of lies about drugs in a bid to close my eyes to truth and then as if by magic reality became that lie, I even tested positive for some whacky concoction of amphetamines and opiates.

I feel like I've gradually been falling further and further asleep/unconscious since. It's weird, I still experience blissfull love in the day without the hellishness of the long nights. Recently I've been thinking though, is duality even a neccessary universal law? does it have to make sense? Can one side of the pole exist without the other?

Hypothetically if an individual became so resistant to the cold that it ceased to be sensational factor, what would that entail for it's counter-weight heat?

 

[Nathan]

What would be the counterpart to physical pain? Physical pleasure? Comfort?

[Nathan]

I mean it's not like I want the whole story to fall apart at the seams, it's just the pain is so fucking tangible and I'm pretty sure the rest of the dreams I have don't have to make theoretical sense. :3

Edited February 10, 2018 by Nathan