My Enlightenment Story

[Heart of Space]

Hey guys, I got enlightened and I just wanted to share my experience.  

So, I've meditated and meditated for years and just a few days ago I was finally told by my guru that I was ready for my enlightenment and all I had to do was climb to Gods temple on the tippy top of Mount Everest.  So, I climbed, strained, and struggled up that mountain for days on end ready to receive my enlightenment.  Some of my fingers even fell off and because of how cold it was my penis was no bigger than a hydrogen atom.   But like the badass mother fucker I am I just trucked along staying mindful the whole time.  After days of arduous climbing I had finally reached the temple completely exhausted, almost dead, but ready for enlightenment.  So, I go into Gods temple and sit down on a pillow seemingly laid out there for me and God floats down while some new age electronic music plays (you know the stuff) on the speakers.  

"Wow," I couldn't believe it, God was sitting right in front of me.  And God said, "you are finally ready for your enlightenment."  I said, "Thanks God, this is great, this is the best moment of my life, I've been training so hard for this and struggled massively for years to get here."  I was in tears I was so happy I was about to finally become enlightened.  God then clasped his mighty hands together and moved them towards me as if he was going to reveal something to me.   I was about to explode with excitement and amazement.  And then God said "just kidding!"  and poofs out of existence.  Silence.  

I was pretty dumb struck at this point.  I could feel how tired and broken my body was from the journey.  My utter shock slowly transformed into major disappointment when I realized that this was what was really at the end of the tunnel of my spiritual practice.  

But I then shortly accepted it and let it go.  My disappointment faded and I was left with nothing but bliss and peace.  But it wasn't some mystical magical super ultra peace bliss, and I wasn't in some jamba juice state of super conscioussness, I wasn't strange looping, I didn't open all 45 chakra chocolates, I didn't even have a cool guru beard to match my nothing that I had received.  It was just a simple pure satisfaction for what is.  Far better put, a very ordinary lack of unfulfillment.  When you truly realize it you'll have the laughing fit of your life.  All this for nothing.  Seriously, I was brutally cramping from laughing so hard.  Good one God, you definitely got me.  

No doubt those who read this will be confused.  I know, I'm sorry.  Good luck everyone!  Pah-pow.  

[Max_V]

Lol, quite an amusing story

[pluto]

 

[starsofclay]

@Heart of Space that was pretty funny... Did you write this or find it? 

[Heart of Space]

6 hours ago, starsofclay said:

@Heart of Space that was pretty funny... Did you write this or find it? 

Tail end of LSD trip.  Got enlightened.  I was trying to convey something, I think I failed lol, oh well.  

[Shin]

I really should try lsd someday lol

[Nahm]

@Heart of Space What’s it like today?

[Heart of Space]

10 hours ago, Nahm said:

@Heart of Space What’s it like today?

I'll try in different ways to put it into words.

1. No desire to seek enlightenment anymore.  Not that I won’t meditate, I still will meditate and incorporate a mindfulness into my life, it just won’t be the focal point of my life.  It will be how I live rather than what I live for.
2.  All narrative is false.  There is only what is.  The obvious false narratives conditioned by modern western culture.  But also even the narratives of spirituality, such as that I need to attain enlightenment.  I don't need to attain anything at all.  I can still imbibe in narrative, I just won’t do it so seriously because I understand it for what it is.
3. Fulfillment is lack of unfulfillment.  Missing a that old shard of glass in my soul.  
4. I'm not special, I didn't gain anything that others don't have.  Ordinary and normal as could be.  One of the best quotes about enlightenment is that one "before enlightenment chop wood carry water, after enlightenment chop wood, carry water."  It really conveys the ordinary-ness of what it really is.  It's so incredibly ordinary.
5. I've finally learned how to live and now I can live my life fully.    

 

[Nahm]

@Heart of Space Very moving man. So happy for you. Seriously.      Any good jokes lately?

[Heart of Space]

41 minutes ago, Nahm said:

@Heart of Space Very moving man. So happy for you. Seriously.      Any good jokes lately?

Thanks man.  I actually randomly remembered something you said at some point and it was very helpful and rang very true.  Thanks for being such a fantastic human, Nahm.  

Nothing off the top of my head, but don't worry I'll have a joke or more for you at some point.  

[eskwire]

@Heart of Space LSD is great for being in the moment. It'a like a mindfulness tab.

Why do you think of this experience as enlightenment? 

[Heart of Space]

3 hours ago, eskwire said:

@Heart of Space LSD is great for being in the moment. It'a like a mindfulness tab.

Why do you think of this experience as enlightenment? 

Because it was the dropping away of all self narrative, all narrative in general.  Reality as it is.  There's a million ways to convey it, did you have a more specific question?  Funny enough, the actual moment came after the initial trip, during the end of the come down.  

[Azrael]

On 28.1.2018 at 8:48 AM, Heart of Space said:

My utter shock slowly transformed into major disappointment when I realized that this was what was really at the end of the tunnel of my spiritual practice. 

Congrats to your awakening. Be careful doe. You haven't reached full enlightenment yet. Not even close. You have just gotten the invitation to the party. You are in the no-mind state rn. Your next enlightenment will be the all-mind-state, then the GOD-mind state ... and then in the end you uncontract fully and even then you only mastered one element of enlightenment (although most teachers these days don't even get to that). After that there's a lot of more stuff to do, if you want.

See it this way, you've been thrown into a new world, yes that's for sure. But you are a baby in this new world and there's lots to explore in it. So find out and have fun.

[Heart of Space]

6 hours ago, Azrael said:

Congrats to your awakening. Be careful doe. You haven't reached full enlightenment yet. Not even close. You have just gotten the invitation to the party. You are in the no-mind state rn. Your next enlightenment will be the all-mind-state, then the GOD-mind state ... and then in the end you uncontract fully and even then you only mastered one element of enlightenment (although most teachers these days don't even get to that). After that there's a lot of more stuff to do, if you want.

See it this way, you've been thrown into a new world, yes that's for sure. But you are a baby in this new world and there's lots to explore in it. So find out and have fun.

Very true and I totally acknowledge that there's probably more to this.    Always a student.  Thanks, man.