How to Tell if One is a Sociopath

[Cjaryo]

Today's post from Leo's blog, https://www.actualized.org/insights/how-to-spot-a-sociopath, got me wondering, how do I know if I'm a sociopath. I don't feel much guilt (previously credited this to not caring what others think of me, and philosophical development of stoicism/cynicism), I enjoy seeing how far I can take a string of lies, I can get obsessed with winning, I have a high IQ, speak poetically (as though all is philosophy), and I resist apologizing. I just don't know how I can tell, maybe it's just time, or there's some way to really know.

[Progress]

This guy is a psycopath or was it sociopath? Either way, one or the other. Maybe you can relate, he had me thinking I was a narcassist for a month. Hahahah enjoy

[Leo Gura]

@Cjaryo Do you feel emotions for other people's suffering?

[eskwire]

@Leo Gura What do you think of Natural News? 

[stevegan928]

Sociopaths make great pickup artists. 

[Naviy]

My father is a narcissist and I was constantly under his influence until my age of 26 when I quit my job as a lawyer in his company and moved for living from Russia to Bali. I have 100% no-contact with him for more than a year now.

I have inherited some narcissistic traits from him, but also I have studied narcissism quite a lot from the perspective of a narcissistic abuse victim.

I remember when I was a teenager I was pretty narcissistic. Now I see how  psychologically violent I actually was with other people because of lack of empathy and because of my insecurity. By then I did not realize it at all. I would never admit that I was violent and manipulative towards other people because I felt totally justified for my manipulations. The need to control other person to escape from my insecurities was so strong, that there was no room for caring about another person.

If somebody told me that I was manipulative and violent, then somehow I would have automatic reaction: "Well, I don't care, it's their fault that they made me to be manipulative with them. If they were behaving how I want, then I would not have to be manipulative with them!"

The idea that I have no right to force other people to behave how I wanted somehow did not cross my mind. I simply was not aware of such a concept. I did not know any other way of communication, so I had no choice. I only wanted to escape from my insecurities, loneliness and psychological violence of the environment of that time. By any means.

For example, when I was 17 years old, I fell in love with a girl. And what I needed the most, is to make sure that she constantly feels guilty and wrong by not giving me all her attention. I did not want her to have friends because I myself did not have any friends and I knew that if she will spend her time with her friends, she will see that they are actually much better than me and she will stop communicating with me and I will become miserable.

So I manipulated her, for example, by trying to show her that if she spent time with her friends, she has committed a sin, did something bad to me and now I am suffering, so now she owes me and she must ask for forgiveness by giving me more sincere attention, making me very important for her.

I was doing it systematically and I was creative with it. Of course, this hurt her, but she was deceived by me and it was not obvious for her that I hurt her.  I was not feeling wrong for doing this because I thought that she was always wrong by not satisfying my need of attention and love. Why the hell I was thinking that she MUST give me love and attention no matter how I behave with her? I don’t know, I just did not have enough love and understanding in my life, so I was deeply insecure and I was craving for love and attention.

I could not give love, I only needed to receive it (a lot). And because I could not give love, I could not sincerely care about a person, I was not capable of sacrifice and compromise.

In a sense, I enjoyed her suffering from guilt because it means that I myself was secure, I could control her, I could get what I needed from her (attention, compassion, love, feeling of being important). Her suffering was in my interest. And I did not have thoughts that I hurt her, I only had thoughts that I myself must escape from my suffering. So, yeah, I guess I was not capable of feeling emotions of her suffering. Because even if I intellectually understood that I make her suffer, I would not feel bad about it, because me making her suffering was for the sake of my own salvation.

So, I think that this neediness + incapability of giving leads to violent manipulative behavior.

I think that all underdeveloped people are inevitably manipulative and violent with each other, but if you're "objectively, biologically" totally incapable of significantly improving in this area, even if you try, then, I guess, you could be a sociopath, psychopath, narcissist, etc.

With time my social environment became better, I was working on my psychology, becoming more mindful, becoming more capable of giving love to myself and, therefore, to others. Now I see how destructive manipulative behavior is - for yourself and for others. Now I want to be giving as much love as possible. I want to heal and help other people (I'm even thinking about making my YouTube channel's main theme - recovery from narcissistic abuse with the help of high quality values, mindfulness, honesty, self love, self acceptance, meditation, developing interest in Truth, discipline, Mastery, authenticity, etc.).

Now the topic of narcissism, psychopathy, sociopathy, abuse became interesting to me because I think that at some level I can relate to both victims and perpetrators. And I want to give them understanding and compassion that they are always lacking (which I was lacking myself). Especially to the victims, TBH.

 

[aurum]

@Cjaryo

I seriously doubt it. The fact you're self-reflecting and wondering about this already makes it unlikely.

[Cjaryo]

@Leo Gura Yeah, but I feel like I've been trying to be more focused on myself and dismissing what other people think and feel, just so I can worry about myself and not get caught up in other people's lives. I do this mostly because of semi-traumatic experiences in my childhood, rejection, punishment, etc., I guess as a way to repress emotion.

[Leo Gura]

@Naviy Brutal self-honesty there! Love it

Great to see that you were able to become mindful of all that self-deception.

[Leo Gura]

@Cjaryo Sounds like regular run-of-the-mill egotism then 

 

[Cjaryo]

@blazed I've made mistakes and assumptions in the past and felt humiliated when I've realized that I'm wrong, so exploiting those beliefs in others gets me to feel above them in a sense, that I am the manipulator rather than the ignorant manipulee.

@Leo Gura Well then, I didn't even consider that a possibility, that my ego was to that extent in power of my life and mind (though to a degree I know the mind is the ego). I've really got to do some work there.

[Joseph Maynor]

You don't really give a shit about other people outside of what you want from them.  Little empathy or sympathy.  Couple that with a manipulative personality that will con and harm people to get what it wants.  

[sarapr]

Could Muhammad be a sociopath ? He was a cult leader and engaged in many wars back then. 

[Faceless]

Who’s Muhammad?????‍♂️

[Faceless]

 

@Outer

What makes you say that? Without some video or scientific statistic as an explanation.

How do you come to that conclusion through thought? Did you come up with that conclusion through thinking looking at your own experiences? 

Edited January 29, 2018 by Faceless

[YaNanNallari]

For me I've been like that and it's a side of me, but I'd also see it as an ego defense side in the end. It can definitely crumble once you don't stick to certain beliefs or ideologies (such as you have no other way to behave) or that has been the case for me but it might be that I'm not a "true" sociopath. So I recommend accepting the side of you that is overly blunt, denying it might probably turns to blaming others. Allow yourself to feel and be close with yourself more if you feel like it's going too far. If that's difficult, figure it out. You might be totally fine though, I don't know.

Edited January 29, 2018 by YaNanNallari

[SFRL]

 

[Shin]

9 minutes ago, SFRL said:

 

I'm 10% darker than regular people.

Here comes King Shin ruler of the multiverse, all shall bow before me !!!

[Soulbass]

my mother may be a sociapath then. there's no way to be 100% sure but, it's awesome how she is in war with every single member of the familly. in the end having a sociopath mother isn't that bad, because i wouldn't be into self-help otherwise.

it must have something to do with incarnation, and the choices we've made before this life.

[Faceless]

Anyone not aware of the self “thought”, to one degree or another is a sociopath or psychopath. Mental disorder is very common in society. I would guess 90% of the world if not more share this mental disorder. These people are everywhere. Politicians, judges, law enforcement, Education, and so on. 

Instead of pointing out if another is a sociaopath or psychopath shouldn’t we just be aware of ourselves. See what causes this behavior and put our own disorderly thought in order. If each one of us brings about order in themselves this order will reflect back on society making a sane place to live for our children, or future you’s and i’s?