What Is Who ?

[Bruno]

On his last video, Leo said that to achieve real growth we must change who we are because who we are is the root of our problems.

I wanna clarify as practical as possible, what defines who.

Now, I don't mean the Enlightened Self, I mean Personality.

 

So, I'm gonna give my thoughts on the subject :

To me, Personality, Being, Who we are, means :

• Our Habits

And I don't mean just simple habits like meditating or exercising everyday, I mean everything that involves a Trigger, and a Response. This means thinking habits, talking habits, moving habits, eating habits, relationship habits, and the list goes on...

• Our Values

What do we value ? What are our Ideals ? When we make a decision, what we consider ? Who we aspire to be ? What are we proud of ?

• Our Beliefs

What we believe is right and wrong ? What are our opinions on a subject ? What we believe about ourselves ? How we view ourselves ? What do we think is true ?

 

Let's have a good old discussion ! 

Edited February 28, 2016 by Bruno

[Bruno]

This is pretty much the way I am approaching personal development right now =]

[Isle of View]

Haven't seen Leo's last video yet, but basically the statement is true, I will give my perspective on that:

let's say, you have a specific kind of identity you operate from. This identity has been defined by you, by your environment, your encounters in life, education and so on. And this identity has a set of beliefs, limiting and conducive aswell. It has characteristics, behaviour patterns, defense mechanisms, a certain way of approaching life through attitudes and emotions.

Well, that's in itself is not the big surprise. That's just the way it looks for the most people. But consider this: we have through the course of our life adopted many, many "identities", we could call them "roles" or "suites" or "costumes" also, but I prefere to call them identities.

Just imagine the difference in the way you speak to people at your workplace, your family, your friends, friends you meet from your teenage years. When your true Self is the actual Self pulling the strings of your "puppet/identity" and also changes the "identity" depending on the circumstances, on a lower level of awarness the identities previously set can begin to run on automatic, Imagine what can happen, when you talk to your family members in the same way as you talk to your friends. Scarry, right? Or you have a meeting with a customer and talk to him as if he was your teacher. 

Therefore it's important to 1) work on our overall presence and awarness in the present moment where we are more councious about where we are and what the play is that we are working in right now, 2) become councious (again) about the different identities we created or have been created as, bring all of it into awarness so we can change it. Some identities we may also want to "cancel" (like arrogant snob, hater, tv-watcher... note, all of them have characteristics to it that don't apply when you are in a different play, say at work).

Other identities you may want to change, adjust or "upgrade". Just like a piece of software you would reprogramm. As programmer you need to know exactly what the "object" should do, which functions the "object" has to fullfill, what properties it should have and what outcomes it is supposed to create or generate. You would remove all the "bugs" (limiting pieces of the programm) if they show up in a test-run and you would continuosly, from time to time, upgrade the software to meet the desired purpose.

Make no mistake. We don't just have one identity. We have many roles we play and they are, very different from each other. The only common thing they share is that you, the programmer, have (hopefully counciously) set them up. They are your make-up to play the game you're involved in. And another thing they have in common is that you are using them. 

There is nothing much needed to become aware of the different identities you wear and how they not always suite the situation or project you want to pursue. Some are very detrimental to your visions and goals, indeed. As an example, if you want to be successful in life, but your truth-seeker-identity has contradictory beliefs or definitions about things like ego, selflessness, humility, and many other things, you will have many dificulties to manifest your visions into your existence. 

Therefore it is important to examine or inspect the different identities you use and how they apply to your main purpose line in life.

How to do it? Pay attention to them. See how you switch, seemingly unaware, from one identity to another and how the entire outlook in a situation changes. Some identities work in one part or segment of your life but they don't in others. If you make sports for example, you may have a very disciplined identity but in school you are a lazy *head. 

You can become aware of them and they will become more transparent to you. Then you can upgrade or cancel them. As your awarness grows you will be more able to use them counciously instead of them popping up and running (or ruining) your day.

What's important to know here is, that YOU are the being who is adopting/using those identities to play. You say what characteristics it has to have, how it communes with others, how it interacts, how it talks, moves, discipline. 

Sometimes it is good to use paper if you work on one of those "identities". Treat them as "Characters" in a video game where you can choose their looks, powers, weapons, charms and stuff like that. And never forget that you are the Gamer, not the Character. (OK, this is an analogy, but it is a good one as you are really operating in this world through different identities.)

Hope this is of some relevance to you.

~ Chris

Edited February 28, 2016 by Isle of View

[Bruno]

@Isle of View

This is such a cool concept

I've never thought about the fact that we don't have just one identity, and now i'm really starting to see not only my identities but also other people identities, it's like seeing the matrix haha

Reflecting on the idea I've been able to identify 5 identities that I operate on specific situations, I even gave them names haha and like you said, everyone of them has it's "job", its purpose on the situation, its characteristics...

Another thing I've noticed is that they sometimes overlap each other and learn some skills from another identity.

Loved the analogy !

[Isle of View]

Cool.

I'm glad to hear that.

Now you can work on them. Maybe I will share an indepth process how this is done in an optimum manner.

What's important, when you're not satisfied with one of your "identities", describe exactly what it is that you do not like, and move it from there (in your imagination) to your most positive manner this identity should be, appear and behave. Use paper! 

Kind regards, 
Chris

[Isle of View]

7 minutes ago, Bruno said:

Another thing I've noticed is that they sometimes overlap each other and learn some skills from another identity.

BTW, yes. Sometimes they even have a fight with each other. This are conflicting identities with conflicting beliefs. One identity, say "vegan", says: "I'm gonna eat no animals anymore." Another identity, say "cool dude" want's to appear cool and all of the sudden you visit your family and there is only non-vegan food on the table. But there is the urge to be cool. Oups...

Therefore it's very good to resolve the conflicting beliefs. The more transparent the identities become, the better they will suit your overall purpose line. As I said, some of them have been adopted, so they are mostly contradicting with your views on life.

~ Chris

[Bruno]

6 minutes ago, Isle of View said:

Another identity, say "cool dude" want's to appear cool and all of the sudden you visit your family and there is only non-vegan food on the table. But there is the urge to be cool. Oups...

Funny thing, one of my identities is named cool dude hahaha

[Isle of View]

Oups... 

[Bruno]

An interesting thing is that I have noticed an identity that I like to call "MR.PleaseLikeMe", it usually appears whenever I feel insecure or sad, but the interesting thing is that on the moment I notice it and think to myself "Oh, this is just another Identity" it starts to melt away, and another identity takes it's place.

That's probably because the identity was based on the fact that I was denying myself, so when I became aware of it, it lost it's purpose =]

 

[Bruno]

23 minutes ago, Isle of View said:

Maybe I will share an indepth process how this is done in an optimum manner.

I would love that.

[Isle of View]

18 minutes ago, Bruno said:

An interesting thing is that I have noticed an identity that I like to call "MR.PleaseLikeMe", it usually appears whenever I feel insecure or sad, but the interesting thing is that on the moment I notice it and think to myself "Oh, this is just another Identity" it starts to melt away, and another identity takes it's place.

That's probably because the identity was based on the fact that I was denying myself, so when I became aware of it, it lost it's purpose =]

It often happens, that we spot the fact that we are using one identity unwittingly, we immediately stop it. 
This doesn't make it vanish, as to do it, we need to inspect and become aware of its entire scope. But no worries.

13 minutes ago, Bruno said:

37 minutes ago, Isle of View said:

Maybe I will share an indepth process how this is done in an optimum manner.

I would love that.

I'll speak with my coach and let you know. It's not something I came up with myself, but a friend of my coach.

Kind regards, 
Chris

Edited March 2, 2016 by Isle of View

[Bruno]

25 minutes ago, Isle of View said:

I'll speak with my coach and let you know. It's not something I came up with myself, but a friend of my coach.

Kind regards, 
Chris

Well, thank you very much