WelcometoReality

Opening Of The Heart

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I've had an awakening experience that has been deepening over the last year. On this subject I feel like I need guidance. I thought I've been opening my heart but I just realized I've been faking it.

Just writing this gives me heart ache so that must mean I'm on the right track. Feeling really vulnerable writing this.

Do you have any suggestions?

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@Pinocchio Thank you Pinocchio for your reply.

There is resistance toward being vulnerable but at least I'm aware of the resistance sometimes.

Being vulnerable is just an illusion, i can see that clearly. Just been unaware of the ways I've protected myself. 

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@WelcometoReality I encourage you to find a genuine teacher. It's very helpful to be guided in these post-awakening stages as the teacher will point out your "sweet spots" and offers the surroundings to release them. Enlightenment is really just the beginning of the path. The implications of awakening to ones true nature should be worked out in all areas of ones life. Very gentle with great compassion for oneself. 

Getting guidence from the internet or books is a completely different thing than sitting opposite to another self-realized person. 

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@Ludwig Thank you Ludwig for you encouragement. Yes all the real work have started after the awakening. A lot of it has been worked through and I sense there is not much me left. It's getting subtler and subtler though, it's getting hard spotting it myself. A teacher would be great to point out these sweet spots and I'll definitely take it into consideration. 

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We get lost in the gross ways we set up our defense's the subtle ways to slip by. I'm struggle with this myself, it's tough

 

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  On 2/29/2016 at 1:01 PM, Toby said:

Check out the audiobook "End of your world" by Adyashanti if you haven't already.

I've heard bits and pieces of it. I'll check it out. Thank you!

  On 2/29/2016 at 2:04 PM, 99th_monkey said:

We get lost in the gross ways we set up our defense's the subtle ways to slip by. I'm struggle with this myself, it's tough

I thought I had worked it out but all it really was was a facade of kindness and understanding. Saying it without meaning it.

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@MartineF It's the same like being pregnant and than suddenly seeing pregnant women everywhere. If the genuine intention is within you you cannot possibly avoid finding the right teacher. You will notice more and more signs everywhere you look and in the end the teacher finds you. I know this sounds very cheesy and woo-woo but that's what i (and many others) experienced. My mind still cannot believe the coincidences that let me to my "guru".

So stay openminded, look around. See what tradition fits your personal character and then go see some people that seem genuine. You will know it when you found him (or her).

Here is a great article on finding a teacher: 

http://scienceandnonduality.com/?post_type=post&p=92914

I hope this helps. :)

 

@WelcometoReality Yes. Enlightenment has to be brought to life. Manifesting your nondual understanding in your everyday actions. As you can see less and less of yourself remains. That's fine, but you still have a persona, a role to play here. Sticking with this "non-dual state" is another illusion. So again it has to come ALIVE in our conditioned, relative world full of old habits etc... ;)

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@Ludwig

"I know this sounds very cheesy and woo-woo"

no it doesn't, not at all.. As I wrote this, I allmost knew you will answer something like this..

But something in me hoped there is a way I could actively go, so to speak..

Thank you

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  On 2/28/2016 at 9:43 PM, WelcometoReality said:

I've had an awakening experience that has been deepening over the last year. On this subject I feel like I need guidance. I thought I've been opening my heart but I just realized I've been faking it.

Just writing this gives me heart ache so that must mean I'm on the right track. Feeling really vulnerable writing this.

Do you have any suggestions?

 

 


Life is when awareness hides in the idea of personal experience. ~ Matt Kahn

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  On 2/29/2016 at 3:40 PM, MartineF said:

But something in me hoped there is a way I could actively go, so to speak..

Thank you

You just look what kind of books/videos/audios you are attracted to and once you know the general direction you can ask people for recommendations or research some teachers and then you go to whom you resonate with. For example, if you are interested in Satsang/Advaita, I could give you a few names, depending in which city you live .

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@Toby I've readen a lot and also have seen many videos and everyone of them brought me a lot, so that I'm not sure I want to go in a special direction, but only find ways to open my heart and my mind more and more because it seems never ending, right?

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  On 2/29/2016 at 4:25 PM, MartineF said:

@Toby I've readen a lot and also have seen many videos and everyone of them brought me a lot, so that I'm not sure I want to go in a special direction, but only find ways to open my heart and my mind more and more because it seems never ending, right?

@MartineF That's fine. You're right were you need to be. Just keep your heart and mind open, no need to have a special direction. I 've read and watched videos from so many traditions until after many hours i felt saturated. At some point you hardly hear something new, but you beginn to recognise more and more the similarities in the different approaches of the same thing. You'll beginn to see the same beauty in the approach of the rigid zen master as in the all is love teachings.

Don't used the teachings to enlarge your knowledge about spirituality but rather to cut away layer after layer of your false knowing or ignorance. Let your perspective naturally broaden as your limiting believes about yourself decrease more and more. 

I hope this helps. :)

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  On 2/28/2016 at 9:43 PM, WelcometoReality said:

I've had an awakening experience that has been deepening over the last year. On this subject I feel like I need guidance. I thought I've been opening my heart but I just realized I've been faking it.

Just writing this gives me heart ache so that must mean I'm on the right track. Feeling really vulnerable writing this.

Do you have any suggestions? 

@WelcometoRealitySeparate what is true and what is not.. Your awakening was true, a beautiful deep experience and realization. That is true. Give yourself credit for that.

These experiences are so profound and so amazing that it is easy to fall in the trap of trying to hold on to them. You try to hold on to that certain state of mind. Its kind of natural. Dont feel bad for that.

What you have to accept and understand is that everything in this universe is subject to change  incuding your emotional state. Thats just the way it is. Trying to hold on to anything is just a form of resistance.

Enlightenment is not about staying all the time in some magical, neverending, high state of bliss. It is about being ok ( accepting) the fact that your state of mind will fluctuate.

I hope this helps..

Edited by werlight

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  On 3/1/2016 at 2:23 AM, werlight said:

@WelcometoRealitySeparate what is true and what is not.. Your awakening was true, a beautiful deep experience and realization. That is true. Give yourself credit for that.

These experiences are so profound and so amazing that it is easy to fall in the trap of trying to hold on to them. You try to hold on to that certain state of mind. Its kind of natural. Dont feel bad for that.

What you have to accept and understand is that everything in this universe is subject to change  incuding your emotional state. Thats just the way it is. Trying to hold on to anything is just a form of resistance.

Enlightenment is not about staying all the time in some magical, neverending, high state of bliss. It is about being ok ( accepting) the fact that your state of mind will fluctuate.

I hope this helps..

I did hold on to that experience in the beginning. Was able to see through it. Thought that it was all finished because it all felt so complete compared to duality. I have realized that it always feel complete the more it deepens the more complete it feels but there is always more. Been able to surrender the control of the openess.

Never given myself credit. I'll sit with that.

Thank you!

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@WelcometoReality

As long as this "awakening experience" is still perceived by a personal "me", as in happening to a "you", it will tend to slip through your fingers. 

I agree with finding a teacher. You know who mine is :D (Mooji). 

There is no you to have an open heart. That would always be a struggle to keep up with. You just need to come to the "understanding" that you already are that heart and it is already open. When I say there is no you there, what I really mean is that all that you currently perceive as being you is a construct of different elements. The REAL you IS that heart that is accepting and watching and loving ALL that is, just because it is. No reasoning to it, no calling it names and concepts, no persona to filter through. 

Everything you can perceive is not you. You are just the "thingie" that watches all. Can you see how much love and acceptance you really have to simply be watching all there is? How spacious and how deeply compassionate you are? Still, those are just words, but I am trying to get you one step closer to who it is that you really are, a bit like a flower freely spreading its perfume. Look at the Sun being there for everyone on this planet, good or bad, beautiful or ugly. No judgement here. YOU, are even greater than the Sun :)

:)

 


Ayla,

www.aylabyingrid.com

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  On 3/1/2016 at 7:58 AM, Ayla said:

@WelcometoReality

As long as this "awakening experience" is still perceived by a personal "me", as in happening to a "you", it will tend to slip through your fingers. 

I agree with finding a teacher. You know who mine is :D (Mooji). 

There is no you to have an open heart. That would always be a struggle to keep up with. You just need to come to the "understanding" that you already are that heart and it is already open. When I say there is no you there, what I really mean is that all that you currently perceive as being you is a construct of different elements. The REAL you IS that heart that is accepting and watching and loving ALL that is, just because it is. No reasoning to it, no calling it names and concepts, no persona to filter through. 

Everything you can perceive is not you. You are just the "thingie" that watches all. Can you see how much love and acceptance you really have to simply be watching all there is? How spacious and how deeply compassionate you are? Still, those are just words, but I am trying to get you one step closer to who it is that you really are, a bit like a flower freely spreading its perfume. Look at the Sun being there for everyone on this planet, good or bad, beautiful or ugly. No judgement here. YOU, are even greater than the Sun :)

:)

 

Thank you Ayla. First reaction, anger: I already know this, I'm already awake. Seeing through the illusion of self. Second reaction, sadness: of not knowing what you are talking about. A lot of emotion has start to come up. Progress. The realization will come by itself, there is no I to force things. All that can be done is seeing through the illusion. 

When I had the awakening experience I started to listen to Adyashanti.

Especially this one list:

 

So much of "me" has dissappeared during this year. Friends falling away, hobbies, fears and beliefs.

Also listened to this one to get an understanding of the different levels of awakening.

 

Mind and gut are where the surrendering has taken place. Not much of heart which I'm aware of, but it has begun now.

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