Questions about the power of homeostasis

[Steph1988]

I wonder how strong the power of the feedback loop is and i wonder about your experiences with it if you can recall.

I will be moving out my parents house again after 2 years of moving back and although i made good progress i would say with a lot of my plans my self development is lagging behind i feel, it has gone to slow for my taste in 2 years and i wonder how big homeostasis played a part in that.

Now my plan was since joining this forum to move out ASAP of the house, that was priority nr 1. and that is succeeding now i think it is crucial that i do.

But to get to the point you have this quote that goes  like this ''you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with''

Well that would be my parents and my colleagues at the moment.

Now i don't really like this to be honest to describe people i love like this ( because i do love them ) and it almost feels like violating my own privacy but anyway

- My mother is extremely caring and sweet but a bit to caring she always kept me out of difficult situations, i did not have to do any chores or anything at all.

everything was always taken care off, i was practically raised by her.

- My father is a whole different story he seems to be indifferent to anything i do, never asks anything and does't care about anything, he watches sports and sits behind his PC mainly, he is even hostile to me when i'm talking self improvement for example when i began about trying cold showers he said it was all bullshit and the only ever tip i got from him was do good at school so you can get a good job and no kidding that is not exaggerated.

- The 3 colleagues i see most are mostly interested in talking about sports ( watching of course ) drinking massive amounts of alcohol and talking about it,cars,winning the lottery etc you know the deal my relation to them is ok and we can joke around which is nice but very superficial, and again.

So these are my 5 people and i wonder how powerful of an influence that is because i'm around them practically everyday and of course i can't see my friends as often as them.

I will develop myself anyway but it is not easy without encouragement, and i'm not satisfied at all yet 

Soon i have my own place and i would like to report back about it within 6 months or so.

But what are your experiences? how crucial was moving out of the house to you? and did any of you have similar situations?

 

 

 

 

 

 

[aurum]

4 hours ago, Steph1988 said:

So these are my 5 people and i wonder how powerful of an influence that is because i'm around them practically everyday and of course i can't see my friends as often as them.

This part is throwing me off. You said you moved out, why would you not be able to see your friends?

Either way, if your closest influences aren't good influences, you can still be around great people. Reading books, visiting this forum, watching YouTube videos are all examples of changing who you spend the most time with.

[Leo Gura]

@Steph1988 Moving out and become self-sufficient is a huge step forward for anyone in their 20s.

It will be tough to do serious development work while living with your family. They will suck you back into your own patterns. They will be threatened by changes you're making. So it's best to do that on your own.

Your mind will entrain to your family's level of consciousness.

You also feel a sense of power and autonomy when you're not beholden to someone else paying your bills or providing you a roof. You want to become independent so you can set your own healthy standards and not have to put up with low consciousness crap from other people.

If it takes you a few years to establish this level of autonomy, it will be worth it. I'd consider it a foundation for all future personal development work.

Then again, if you're stuck living with your folks for the next year or two, don't make that into an excuse not do the work. You can still grow enormously if you apply yourself. And since you're young, you've got a lot of energy to invent into this.

So really, it's good both ways.

The more toxic your family is, the faster you should be aiming to move out. To be financially independent feels so GOOD!

[Steph1988]

Thx for the answers guys appreciated. 

@aurum Oh i meant compared to my colleagues and parents i see them less, i might see my friends every other week or so but my colleagues/parents every day so their influence is much much stronger and i wanted to take the quote as literately as i could.