alyra

I need to fear death.

22 posts in this topic

Hi, so all my life I honestly I don't fear death. It's something that'll happen and I am ok with that. to a certain extent I want to prolong life of course, but not to the extent that death scares me. I know that I will work to prevent death if it comes around, not just roll over - but ultimately this is not from fear, but from the principle of the matter. it has been my belief for a long time, that as long as I am here I might as well make the best of it - that it is in fact a critical part of being with this life, that I work to keep it if death comes knocking. does this explain it well? 

 

 

so anyway that is the intro. but the issues is - well - the rabbit often escapes the fox, because the fox does not run for his life. and in this way I have been the fox. I do not fear death. so I do not become motivated to make the life matter. maybe in principle I intent to, and believe I do. but I do not. 

 

So I am looking for advice, as I move forward in trying to learn to fear death. any advice on how to do it? 

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You are already dead :D


There is nothing safe with playing it safe.

 

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Do something that might create that fear, try rock climbing or something like that. Even bungee jumping from high heights could help maybe?

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There is and has always been only ever present awareness, there is no such thing as death. You have put a claim on existence,  saying it is mine. People are attached to life, that's why they fear death. But a man with no identity or attachment to existence cannot fear death. Realize that life just is, it doesn't belong to anyone. It just IS, but it is not mine. If you really realize this, you are free.

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@alyra Go through ego death. A couple times I experienced so much terror I wanted to physically kill myself as that would be the only way to make it stop.

I didn't think I feared death until I did an Ayahuasca retreat.

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21 hours ago, alyra said:

I do not become motivated to make the life matter

Examine.... where does this idea to 'make life matter' come from and what does it mean for you? What are the feelings associated with it?

Then break it down even more....

What does it mean to 'matter' for you? Where did that idea come from? What are the feelings of it?

Where does the idea of you need to "make" it matter come from and what does it mean? Feelings of it?

What memories are associated with all of the ideas and feelings?

Do you agree with the ideas and feelings? What ideas and feelings do you associate with that agreement or not?

Do you consciously intend to agree/not with them or is it an unconscious impulse?

Are there any ideas and feelings about effects or consequences that are related to your agreement or not with them?

Will changing the ideas and/or feelings surrounding it all alter it to help?

If these are examined and you are made aware of the dynamics you can find your genuine inspiration and motivation to live as you intend for your life.

You may find you are contented in what you are doing but expectations from others has crept in to steal your joy, if you aren't genuinely at enjoying it, figure out the actual culprit in suppressing your joy and deal with it.

Changes or work with no awareness of what is going on will only make for ineffective consciousness work or possibly create more obstacles.

I could tell you how it works for my life but that is like giving you the combination to my lock, not your lock and thinking it will open.

Edited by SOUL

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@SOUL thanks! a lot of food for fought.

 

uh, thought, i mean, lol!

 

since I posted this thread been practicing a little more adamantly towards the goal and I've at least managed to get an idea that if I pretend that I might die tonight in bed, it helps keep me in check. tho I know it'll only work for so long... hard to pretend to believe something which I do not really trust to be true. 

 

I guess, the real target of this endeavor for me is to find a way to kick my ass into gear, that I just don't value immediacy or punctuality or the merits of hard, consistent work. 

 

but I'm gonna keep framing it as the need to fear death, 'cause I'm kinda the opposite of everyone else, if their need to contemplate death is to realize how not to fear death, then mine need must be the opposite to reach a similar aspect of awareness. I have the yang problem to the common yin problem, lol! 

 

so thanks for the  many words. it'll help open my vantage to be at a more diverse set of angles to pick apart what I'm concerned over! 

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@alyra  Yes, it is quite a bit of food for thought fought though be aware the mind fight doesn't make a brain fart causing heart fraught so letting go will ultimately be good for taut taught.

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Try DMT you will experience something that may explain this for you or 5-Meo for that matter. Maybe you need an experience to understand whats going on.


B R E A T H E

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sigh, so many useless posts in this thread. 

 

let me try to be more direct. 

 

1) what does death mean to you, and do you fear it? 

2) how did or does the fear of death affect you on a typical day?

3) how does the limitations of the human existence impact your drive, or do you find those two unrelated in effect instead? 

 

 

edit: and please, no posts about doing drugs. no posts about how things don't really exist or don't actually matter. no posts about how I need to contemplate or meditate or this or that or the other thing. those aren't what I'm here to ask for. 

Edited by alyra

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On 1/24/2018 at 7:14 AM, NoSelfSelf said:

You are already dead :D

No you aren’t. Ego “death” isn’t death, that’s just delusion. We are talking oblivion, the complete cessation of all consciousness. That is something beyond human imagination, for we cannot know nothingness.

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On 28/01/2018 at 8:28 AM, alyra said:

sigh, so many useless posts in this thread. 

 

let me try to be more direct. 

 

1) what does death mean to you, and do you fear it? 

2) how did or does the fear of death affect you on a typical day?

3) how does the limitations of the human existence impact your drive, or do you find those two unrelated in effect instead? 

 

 

edit: and please, no posts about doing drugs. no posts about how things don't really exist or don't actually matter. no posts about how I need to contemplate or meditate or this or that or the other thing. those aren't what I'm here to ask for. 

@alyra

1) All fear is illusory. Whoever says you need to fear death is neurotic. The point is not to fear death but be conscious of your death.

2)Being conscious of your death/mortality will make you appreciate life more, plus you will not live a life of quiet desperation

3)As far as drive is concerned you will do what is necessary or go after something that you genuinely want. You will not chase after meaningless things


There's Only One Truth!

My book on Enlightenment and Non Duality

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07BHWCP7H

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I really loved highest's response.

I sense the OP as sober inquiry, but its premise is void of practicality in terms of any viable application within the querent's comprehension, in terms of the many apt responses Alrya received.

Obviously, and in Alrya's case, any powerful response by the knowledgeable is beyond the ken of mere intellect— which must be surpassed.

Alrya, please don't be recalcitrant (and in your case, picky), just to entertain a very closed intellectual (ego) paradigm. Death, indeed.

Evidently you've never known you really ought to duck NOW to avoid a bullet.  I'm afraid you are asking the wrong question— you want to know what fearing for your life is, SO YOU CAN BE PRESENT. Presence is a real knowledge you ought to aspire to.

Presence is itself streaming transcendent practical experience, such that it makes an instance of sudden enlightenment a needless redundancy.

If you want to get past a fear for your life by first having to avoid cheap-shots to vital (or otherwise) body parts being thrown at you by an intent other than yours, strive to have a life worth losing— and don't be cheap with death, because (while you're alive) it is truly your closest advisor.

Get to know your death, and ask your own personal death these same important questions!

As for your reformulated questions: One, DEATH HAS NO MEANING. Two, Death's influence on your typical day is up to you.

Finally, until you yourself personally know what the limit of human existence is (by virtue of sudden illumination), your last question is meaningless.

 

 

ed note: add "and" in 3rd; typo, 7th paragraph

Edited by deci belle

Nana i ke kumu  Ka imi loa

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@alyra  If you actually been in the position of dying, a few times, then I believe that you don't fear death.

If it is just at an intellectual, logical, philosophical level /discussion....then.....well....-Do you know when people have an opinion about something of matter and then they are put in a position to actually handle the matter?

Shit gets real...as they say.

 

In my experience death is not to be feared but respected.

The actuall question should be: Is life to be valued?

 

If I spoke purely for discussions sake I would answear this:

On 2018-01-24 at 2:48 AM, alyra said:

So I am looking for advice, as I move forward in trying to learn to fear death. any advice on how to do it? 

 

...with this: Make a baby then decide if you will abort it.

 

Some people would name apathy as "enlightment"- I don´t. I belive and think there is a differance.

 

 

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On 1/24/2018 at 0:06 PM, Serotoninluv said:

@alyra Go through ego death. A couple times I experienced so much terror I wanted to physically kill myself as that would be the only way to make it stop.

I didn't think I feared death until I did an Ayahuasca retreat.

Do you mind sharing your experience in more detail? Were you able to let go and go beyond the terror? I've also had an experience where I was begging for death, just to make it stop. What seemed to trigger the loop was the initial resistance from the point where I was going to face my true self, which was terrifying, something kept me from letting go and going deeper and then I got stuck in this loop where I was experiencing attachment to my body's comfort level, and it kept going from comfortable to uncomfortable over and over again at which point I thought I was stuck there forever, I couldn't handle the experience anymore, I was exhausted yet it kept going, at which point I told myself "when the fuck am I going to die already? I can't do this anymore!"

I have yet to deal with the terror of facing myself in these experiences, I seem to have some deep programming from religions, even though I was never religious in my life. I'm still trying to figure out what is so terrifying in the depths of my own mind, but it seems to be something like: "if I'm God, then I will need to experience absolutely everything, and that includes all the pain and suffering, I will also have to experience the trauma I have accumulated in my heart in order to fully let go into the experience". What seems to terrify me the most is the fear of physical pain and suffering which is what we associate with death.


Journal of Jesus Christ - https://journalofjesuschrist.com

 

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On 1/23/2018 at 5:48 PM, alyra said:

Hi, so all my life I honestly I don't fear death. It's something that'll happen and I am ok with that. to a certain extent I want to prolong life of course, but not to the extent that death scares me. I know that I will work to prevent death if it comes around, not just roll over - but ultimately this is not from fear, but from the principle of the matter. it has been my belief for a long time, that as long as I am here I might as well make the best of it - that it is in fact a critical part of being with this life, that I work to keep it if death comes knocking. does this explain it well? 

 

 

so anyway that is the intro. but the issues is - well - the rabbit often escapes the fox, because the fox does not run for his life. and in this way I have been the fox. I do not fear death. so I do not become motivated to make the life matter. maybe in principle I intent to, and believe I do. but I do not. 

 

So I am looking for advice, as I move forward in trying to learn to fear death. any advice on how to do it? 

LOL I wish I had your problems. Your medicine is called 5meo-DMT.

On 1/24/2018 at 0:06 PM, Serotoninluv said:

@alyra Go through ego death. A couple times I experienced so much terror I wanted to physically kill myself as that would be the only way to make it stop.

I didn't think I feared death until I did an Ayahuasca retreat.

Do you mind sharing your experience in more detail? Were you able to let go and go beyond the terror? I've also had an experience where I was begging for death, just to make it stop. What seemed to trigger the loop was the initial resistance from the point where I was going to face my true self, which was terrifying, something kept me from letting go and going deeper and then I got stuck in this loop where I was experiencing attachment to my body's comfort level, and it kept going from comfortable to uncomfortable over and over again at which point I thought I was stuck there forever, I couldn't handle the experience anymore, I was exhausted yet it kept going, at which point I told myself "when the fuck am I going to die already? I can't do this anymore!"

I have yet to deal with the terror of facing myself in these experiences, I seem to have some deep programming from religions, even though I was never religious in my life. I'm still trying to figure out what is so terrifying in the depths of my own mind, but it seems to be something like: "if I'm God, then I will need to experience absolutely everything, and that includes all the pain and suffering, I will also have to experience the trauma I have accumulated in my heart in order to fully let go into the experience". What seems to terrify me the most is the fear of physical pain and suffering which is what we associate with death.


Journal of Jesus Christ - https://journalofjesuschrist.com

 

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On 2/19/2018 at 7:35 PM, Barbarian Number 8 said:

@alyra  If you actually been in the position of dying, a few times, then I believe that you don't fear death.

If it is just at an intellectual, logical, philosophical level /discussion....then.....well....-Do you know when people have an opinion about something of matter and then they are put in a position to actually handle the matter?

Shit gets real...as they say.

 

In my experience death is not to be feared but respected.

The actuall question should be: Is life to be valued?

 

If I spoke purely for discussions sake I would answear this:

 

...with this: Make a baby then decide if you will abort it.

 

Some people would name apathy as "enlightment"- I don´t. I belive and think there is a differance.

 

 

ah, thank you. 

 

On 2/18/2018 at 1:15 PM, deci belle said:

 I'm afraid you are asking the wrong question

 

that much is clear.

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