Getting over mistakes/regret

[Wonder]

As I’m approaching my 21st birthday, it’s almost comical how one of the hugest obstacles I’m facing is this overwhelming sense of regret for each and every way I let my life slip by over the years – you know, a fairly typical victim of my generation, my adolescence spent escaping to video games and porn, learning very late to socialize, never having had the courage to approach a girl etc.

My problem is often literally not being able to sleep at night just obsessing over how wasteful I was with my whole life up to this point. Or during daytime a memory that I regret pops up and keeps torturing me until I’m too exhausted to take action. The thoughts are just fucking compulsive, but at least I can see clearly that a big part of it is just not being able to accept what has been.

So my question is how do you make regret lose its grip on you? I would welcome any wisdom/life experience.

(Sorry for any mistakes in my English.)

 

[Psyche_92]

Are you meditating? Seems like you would benefit from it a lot.

 

[Forestluv]

1 hour ago, Wonder said:

So my question is how do you make regret lose its grip on you? I would welcome any wisdom/life experience.

Regret lost it's grip with the awareness that there is no "chooser". There is no "me" making choices. Thoughts and actions appear. Past events could not have gone differently because there was no choice.

[Guest thesmileyone]

Don't focus on the future either. Focus on the moment right now. Live your whole life in this present moment!

[Source_Mystic]

 Look you are moving forward a big step in moving forward is forgiving your self and others. 

Also be greatful for the fact that you have come to this point  and not waited another 10 years or even died before  or you became conscious of this. 

Do not regret the past look at it as fertilizer for your growth.  I would say you learn much more from your failures than your successes. BE  greatful for even what you precive as negative experance because it brought you to this point a pivoting point to improve your awarness and life. 

 One last thing stop wasting more time worrong about the past life in the present. 

Focus your energy on the present when you worries and  sleepless  nights  plague you. Work on somehing you want to improve instead of worrong about he past. 

Good luck