Do always-happy adults exist?

[Monkey-man]

I'm curious. I don't know adults who are happy most of the time and who don't suffer time to time, but do you know such happy people?

I don't mean enlightened people who became like that, I mean people who are sorta always-happy from birth.

 

PS. I guess I mean someone who is sort of stable happy or peaceful happy most of the time, so someone who has enough of serotonin most of the time, but not necessarily high on endorphin. 

Edited January 22, 2018 by Monkey-man

[NoSelfSelf]

There are people who dont suffer as much as other person do but they still suffer and they dont enjoy it like they look like they do(or they have to be always in that situation and when they are not they suffer)you havent seen trully happy person in your life who are happy without anything making them so and you can see that nothing can make you permenently happy(outside)...

[Barbarian Number 8]

Clever question Mr. Monkey-Man!

I have never met such people.

The ones who comes close are retarded people who can put up a happy mask as a default. But I do think that they, sometimes, are stuck with that mask and their true state could be something else.

Example would be the old electric "treatment" of retarded people. After treatment they would laugh but without actuall reason or normal stimuly.

Happy emptymask without reason.

 

The other kind would be those "of the correct and only suprime faith". They seems very desperate happy. Something like a manic happy state.

In other words, it is actually a "willed" state. When enery runs low, mask fades away....and so on.

 

But I don´t think anybody can be perpetually happy. It don´t seems natural for a normal functionally human makeup.

 

If anyone have themselves have bumped into one, I like to hear about it.

I am however very suspicius of people that displays "mono feelings".

[Sunchild]

I have.

I'm one of them.

Seems perfectly natural for me.  The curious notion that suffering is inevitable has always seemed strange to me, esp. the way that people accept it as the normal state of things.  That would be the unnatural state I'd say.  Note there is a significant difference between "pain" and "suffering"--when I had a bad head cold back in December I was in some discomfort, but never suffered per se.  It's part and parcel of being in a 3D world, but ultimately I own all my mental states.

I just took an amazing afternoon drive in springlike temperatures and skies.  Yes, as per my handle I get a lot of energy when in the sun, and my energy thus does drop when it is cloudy and cooler, but I don't get grumpy and depressed or anything.

[Slade]

12 hours ago, Monkey-man said:

I'm curious. I don't know adults who are happy most of the time and who don't suffer time to time, but do you know such happy people?

I don't mean enlightened people who became like that, I mean people who are sorta always-happy from birth.

 

You can cultivate Happiness. That’s what Tibetan Buddhism focuses on. There’s a great book called Happiness written by “The Happiest Man in The World” a Buddhist monk, Matthieu Ricard. Chickety check it out yo.

[Psyche_92]

12 hours ago, Monkey-man said:

people who are sorta always-happy from birth.

No one is always happy. Emotions come and go, and "you" don't have any influence on it.

12 hours ago, Monkey-man said:

I don't mean enlightened people who became like that

This is a delusion. "enlightened people" are not always happy.

[Monkey-man]

@Barbarian Number 8 @Psyche_92 i guess i mean not 'high' happy but more like stable happy or peaceful happy. like when you always or most of the time have enough of serotonin, but not necessarily high on endorphin.  

@Sunchild I'm glad to hear that there are such people in here, so my hopes for humanity are not lost, do you think it has to do more with your healthy upbringing as a child or with being so from birth?

@Slade thanks, i'll check it out. I've listened to his ted talks once. I think tibetians dig the deepest into 'science' of spirituality.

Edited January 22, 2018 by Monkey-man

[Pelin]

Is happiness what we should look for anyway? I am more into acceptance and observing, but happiness comes as a by-product.

By the way, I am mostly in a good state, laugh sincerely almost everyday, and have good relationships in general. But this is except the inevitable downs like loss of a loved one or a sudden illness etc. Those sometimes take a long time to accept, even for highly developed people.

[Forestluv]

Most of the time, I'm content, upbeat, happy. I'm often told how I spin situations into a positive light and "turning lemons into lemonade".

One challenge I have with dating is that I tend to be uncomfortable when a gf is upset/moody/angry. I've been told by several women how I try to always get us into "The Happy Zone". I've been told they feel pressure that they have to always be happy to match my spirit and don't have the freedom to be upset/moody/angry. It's become a very real issue in several relationships and something I'm working on.

[pluto]

Yes those that never stop playing

Edited January 22, 2018 by pluto

[Barbarian Number 8]

2 hours ago, Monkey-man said:

@Barbarian Number 8 @Psyche_92 i guess i mean not 'high' happy but more like stable happy or peaceful happy. like when you always or most of the time have enough of serotonin, but not necessarily high on endorphin. 

I would give the same answear to that state.

I believe it to be a "forced state" (to strong label, but I can´t come up with a better translate).

Perhaps we could look at the states as plus and minus with neutral being effortless?

One could have a stronger draw to negative or positive when stuff happens, but if neutral is the default state how would you deem a persons core to be when stimuly tip the scale, so to speak?

[Barbarian Number 8]

@Serotoninluv You may be percived to lack emphaty when you do so. And a failure to connect with her occur. Maybe a way would be _not_to try to remedy her low-temporary-feelings, but to accept, aknowledge and let them pass?

So tending to your emmident discomfort may lead to a less desirable result longterm?

What is the saying? "be the mountain, let her be the wind"...or something like that

[Source_Mystic]

All emotions are transient states not fixed or perment. So no there is no human that is in a perpetual state of happiess. 

[Barbarian Number 8]

3 hours ago, Sunchild said:

I have.

I'm one of them.

Seems perfectly natural for me.  The curious notion that suffering is inevitable has always seemed strange to me, esp. the way that people accept it as the normal state of things.  That would be the unnatural state I'd say.  Note there is a significant difference between "pain" and "suffering"--when I had a bad head cold back in December I was in some discomfort, but never suffered per se.  It's part and parcel of being in a 3D world, but ultimately I own all my mental states.

I just took an amazing afternoon drive in springlike temperatures and skies.  Yes, as per my handle I get a lot of energy when in the sun, and my energy thus does drop when it is cloudy and cooler, but I don't get grumpy and depressed or anything.

hmmm...Soooo, if you came and lived in Sweden for a year, your sunchild core would crash? (we like rain and rain with darkness and rain with cold and....do you know the MontyPython bit about spam?....ja, it´s like that...rain...)

I don´t think that suffering is the normal state. I believe that neutral is. Althou I do think the negative state dominates in western society.

[Monkey-man]

i dunno what do you mean by neutral state, i dont think such thing exist. @Barbarian Number 8

neutral state is when you cannot move internally or externally at all. any emotion trigger motions, and motions cannot be neutral

i guess peaceful happy is the most neutral kind of state

[Forestluv]

39 minutes ago, Barbarian Number 8 said:

@Serotoninluv You may be percived to lack emphaty when you do so. And a failure to connect with her occur. Maybe a way would be _not_to try to remedy her low-temporary-feelings, but to accept, aknowledge and let them pass?

So tending to your emmident discomfort may lead to a less desirable result longterm?

What is the saying? "be the mountain, let her be the wind"...or something like that

Totally. My empathy is misexpressed or perceived. I have an underlying desire/intention to steer things toward resolution, contentment, well-being, happiness. This comes across as though it’s not OK to just be in a foul mood. . . And she has a point. I have categories of “good” and “bad” states of being. When she gets into a “bad” mood, I want to steer things into a “good” mood. She has told me they’re all just moods and to allow her to just be in whatever mood she is in. 

Part of it is my conditioning. My dad would get in foul moods and it was *serious*. Something was very *wrong*. There was this unspoken negative vibe that would last many hours and even linger for days. Walking on eggshells. It was really uncomfortable nit knowing what was wrong ir what would happen. . . My gf will be in a foul mood and it just passes. No big deal. She feels better. Yet, I can get thrown off-center for hours, even a day after a bad moid episode.

I’ve been working on being aware of the thoughts and feelings that arise when I’m in a foul environment. And just allow those thoughts/feelings exist in me. To just be with them.

[Faceless]

@Serotoninluv

3 minutes ago, Serotoninluv said:

I’ve been working on being aware of the thoughts and feelings that arise when I’m in a foul environment. And just allow those thoughts/feelings exist in me. To just be with them.

That’s all we can do. Because “we” are not seperate form those thoughts/feelings. We are them. They are the fact of what is?

[SOUL]

I love such a deep cry, one of those tear storms from the cloud burst of compassion...it's soothes my heart and cleanses my mind... I en joy it.

I am invigorated by intense experience, one of those adrenaline pumping sense tingling that may be a bit startling, it's stirs my passions and humbles my mortality.... I en joy it.

Although, I try not to embrace the rage without a cloak of something else, it scares people...I save that for frenetic drum frenzies that can temper it for those with sensitivities though people may interpret it as they feel the love in my sound, I will agree with them because I love it, too... I en joy it.

The waves of sensations can rock the boat but I am the ocean, not the man in the boat trying not to fall because I'm in it and embrace all life, it exists... I en joy it.

Edited January 24, 2018 by SOUL

[Sunchild]

6 hours ago, Monkey-man said:

 

@Sunchild I'm glad to hear that there are such people in here, so my hopes for humanity are not lost, do you think it has to do more with your healthy upbringing as a child or with being so from birth?

 

[This board software is highly non-intuitive, copy and pasting quotes is a royal pain oops I'm suffering!]

That's the thing-my childhood was pretty rough.  Outcast, teased, self-esteem in the dirt.  I hit a nadir in my early twenties, severe depression as my life seemed to be completely imploding.

But I didn't off myself like I almost did once, and 10 years later a close encounter with a peregrine falcon sparked a renaissance.  That and many numinous encounters to come basically blew materialism for me to pieces, and [essentially] completely blew my psyche and pain out of me.  In any event my old pain informs my existence now, but definitely does not determine it. 

 

3 hours ago, Source_Mystic said:

All emotions are transient states not fixed or perment. So no there is no human that is in a perpetual state of happiess. 

3 hours ago, Monkey-man said:

i dunno what do you mean by neutral state, i dont think such thing exist. @Barbarian Number 8

neutral state is when you cannot move internally or externally at all. any emotion trigger motions, and motions cannot be neutral

i guess peaceful happy is the most neutral kind of state

 

That "neutral state" is simply The Witness.  I learned to focus on that as my locus, and not my emotions or attachments per se.  I first noticed the Witness during a depressive episode years ago, saw a part of myself simply watching me having my fit.

And the tears M-m are still there pretty frequently--usually tho due to something that has completely amazed me.

 

And, as far as trying to date someone who isn't there with you, I've found that that can be a bit daunting.

 

 

[alyra]

i dunno what happiness or why people obsess over it so much. makes no sense to me. there's more to life than happiness. seems people think happiness is some thing to acquire. if it is well, i don't care for it. I'm pretty sure it ain't tho. and i still don't care for it. it's nice when I feel happy, of course. I cherish it. but there's more to life than happiness.