(Trip Report) Magic Mushroom For The First Time

[erik8lrl]

This was my first time ever taking a psychedelic.

I took 2g of magic mushrooms

And here is my experience

 

After taking it, the first 20 minutes felt like nothing but nauseous.

Then I started to hear vibrations

And it got louder and louder

In my head

And I start to see things moving

I looked at my pillow and the pattern on it is moving like water

This affect intensified in I don't know how long

Time started to slow down for me

I look at myself in the  mirror and my face was moving and morphing

I look at my paintings and they are all morphing

I started to question how

And start to ask my self

I closed my eyes and pattern started to come up

Fractals

I am going in and out at the same time

Big and small at the same time

There are infinite things happening all at once

I just keep on going and things just keep on changing 

Sounds too

It was overwhelming

Since it is infinite

Like infinite things happening at once

Full of colors

It was beautiful

It's like rabbit hole

You can go on forever

I lost track of time

It felt like forever

I started to feel fear

Fear that I will get lost in this forever

So I opened my eyes

Feeling like I am not in my body and lost

It feels like I took a nap for infinite time

I looked at the clock on my phone

Only 10 mins past

I felt disbelieve

I want it to stop

I was afraid

I didn't want to go back to the loop

But my head was too heavy and I felt really tried

So I closed my eyes

And went through another infinite rabbit hole

 I woke up, feeling fear and disbelieve

I got up from my bed and moved up stares

I talked to my dog

And I don’t know how but next thing I know is that I'm on my bed

The time between this was so short to me that I forgot it

I started to question reality

Don't know which one is real or fake

And just as I think about that

I got into another rabbit hole

My concept of self just keep on expending

Infinitely

I woke up again

Only 5 min past

I want this to end

But I realized that this reality might not be real

And I can no longer identify which one is

I started to question if I exist

And went into another rabbit hole

This time I truly let myself go

I no longer hold the concept of self

And I just kept on going down the rabbit hole

And to the point where I felt so infinite that I become time

I opened my eyes

Only 10 minutes past

Didn't want to go back to the rabbit hole

I turned on my phone and started texting my friend

And telling him I am time

And then I instantly went down another rabbit hole

It was only a minute in real life

But I felt like I went through infinity

I felt like I experienced everything in this universe

That I am one with all things

I realize that everything is a lie

And started laughing uncontrollably

I couldn't stop laughing for hours

I was crying at the same time

I was constantly going into the rabbit hole and out

I became everything and time itself

It was so blissful because I realized that everything is just a joke

A brilliant joke that we fooled ourselves with

I am everything

And I lied to my self

To believe that I'm not

Inspiration strikes

I wrote down everything that comes to my mind

And felt extremely happy

And funny

I find everything

Everything!

The good

The bad

All the polarities

Funny as fuck

Because I made all of them

And how fucking brilliant I am

The marvel of creation and existence

I was one with all things

I realized that this life of ours is just a lie

A lie to entertain ourselves

I felt like I was everything

I realized the reason for our existence

And laugh because it all makes sense

It is so simple and stupid that I can't stop laughing

It felt so beautiful and brilliant and complete

That I was crying and laughing

I just kept on writing down the things I felt and experienced

I was high

After I finished, I wanted to experience more

I took a shower

Probably the best shower of my life

I can't stop laughing the whole time

That feeling where I am one with the water

I was the temperature

The touch

The sound

The Smell

The light

Everything

And I got out

This whole time

Time was not right for me

I don’t know how long it was

Because I became time

I went back to my bed and the effect started to go off

I was still in it tho

So I kept on writing and laughing and singing

I was so happy

And truly become aware that I am all things

I did not have that before

I knew it, but I was not aware

Now I am

I took an orange and know that I am it

So I ate it

It was the best orange I have ever eaten

I was high just by eating it

I was so happy

But time started to go back to normal

After 6 hours it is completely gone

But now I have no doubt

I am time and infinity. 

 

I also wrote this poem during the time.

I am the greatest evil.

I took some psychedelic mushrooms today and I wrote this poem. 

 

The poem of everything: 

 

A wise man once said nothing because he knew no matter what he says he is saying it to himself. 

He is the sound itself 

He is the time 

He is everything 

He is you

 

If you are god, you want to be so indescribably beautiful that nobody can fucking describe how beautiful you are that you become everybody. 

All arguments are meaningless because you are arguing to yourself. 

Is all a joke.

A giant brilliant joke.

 

Like everything I’m afraid of is me. 

 

You realize just how hard you are trying to fool yourself. 

 

Like time is everything and everything is time. 

Time is asking itself what time is

 

This is so stupid that it is smart.

This is so bad that it is good.

This is so evil that it is holy 

This is so beautiful that it is ugly 

This is so true that it is a false 

This is so brilliant that it is dumb 

This is so funny that it is sad

This is so good that it is bad

This is so me that it is others 

This is so crazy that it is sane 

This is so big that it is small

This is so high that it is low

This is so perfect that it is imperfect 

This is so impossible that it is possible 

This is so normal that it is a miracle 

This is so fun that it is boring 

This is so hot that it becomes cold 

This is so down that it becomes up 

This is so light that it becomes dark 

This is so good that it makes you suffer 

This is so touching that it makes you cry

This is so life that it becomes who  you are 

This is so meaningless that it becomes meaningful 

This is so great that it becomes evil 

This is so much love that it becomes hate

This is so much pain that it becomes the pleasure 

This is so hard that it is easy 

This is so fast that it becomes slow

This is so great that you want to die

 

 

 

 

This LIE!!! 

All of it!!!

Is so fucking beautiful!!!

 

Like I am every infinity of a second. 

 

The fact that people pertaining to be like they don’t know each other makes them know each other. 

 

 

Like you want to make everybody know this is the you. 

 

We are each infinite individuals. 

 

 

Let’s keep going 

This lie called life

 

Let’s keep going 

This lie called time 

 

Let’s keep going 

This lie called self

 

Let’s keep going 

This lie call love

 

Let’s keep playing 

This game of lie 

 

 

At first, you are questioning who you are, then you are questioning who is questioning who you are, then you are questioning who is questioning you questioning who you are.....

 

 

To become everything is to become infinity, to become infinity is to become one.

 

I am the art that is trying to make the art to art themselves. 

 

I am the lie that’s trying to lie to them self so they all think it is true.

 

Everybody else is just me pretending to be someone else.

 

We are so enlightened that we unenlightened ourselves.

 

Like how you wrote this poem just now. 

 

[Nahm]

@erik8lrl Damn!!! What a trip! It’s so funny I’m not even laughing, and it’s so true it’s fuckin hilarious! Thanks for sharing it. Love the poetry too! 

[Leo Gura]

@erik8lrl Welcome to true spirituality

You've only seen 1% of the rabbit hole.

[erik8lrl]

@Leo Gura Maybe next time I should just keep going down and never try to wake up, and see what happens. During the trip, I also felt like there's no point in enlightenment since even enlightenment is also part of this lie. I felt like we are all enlightened already, and being here is just our own doing. That in this infinity we will go on forever. I was laughing at the brilliance of this idea, this game that we created for ourselves. I felt like even if I did become enlightened I would go back to the loop. We made ourselves unenlightened so we can pursue enlightenment to have fun.

What is the point of enlightenment if is just another loop? 

Is there something beyond this loop? 

Beyond infinity?

Beyond time and space? 

 

[phoenix666]

wow, that deep with only 2g! holy moly

thanks for sharing your experience, I love the way you wrote it, wonderful poem. I especially loved the part with the opposites unified. I keep bumping into that phenomenon on my journey <3

[erik8lrl]

@Leo Gura Well I just realize I don't know what enlightenment is yet. 

[Girzo]

1 hour ago, erik8lrl said:

What is the point of enlightenment if is just another loop? 

Is there something beyond this loop? 

Beyond infinity?

Beyond time and space? 

I have an answer for you. It's called higher dose. Haha

[erik8lrl]

@Girzo Yeah. 

[Heart of Space]

That poem is fantastic.  Very cool, @erik8lrl, I'm happy for you.  

[erik8lrl]

@Heart of Space Thank you

[Leo Gura]

@erik8lrl There is no point to anything.

But don't underestimate the beauty of enlightenment.

What you really desire is liberation and consciousness, you just don't realize this yet because you've only dipped your toe in the rabbit hole.

Go deeper. And have faith in Truth. It will be worth it.

[erik8lrl]

@Leo Gura  It's said that with enlightenment comes true freedom, freedom beyond time and space and infinity, but that freedom also means boredom. Despite that, we still want to become one, to continue the loop, I guess that is the brilliance of this game. But it still makes me wonder if life has any meaning other than entertainment. Perhaps going deeper through the rabbit hole will give me a better idea. 

[erik8lrl]

@Joseph Maynor Why do you have to do it in a lab? Will it give you better trips? 

[Leo Gura]

@erik8lrl Boredom is a feature of the unawoken mind.

To the awoken mind, things are rarely boring. Every moment is mysterious and miraculous.

[erik8lrl]

@Leo Gura That's true. It did feel like I was seeing things for the first time. It was just hearsay, I need to find out myself. 

[erik8lrl]

@Kserkkj What are you trying to say? Can you explain a little bit more? 

[Forestluv]

On 1/21/2018 at 7:58 PM, Leo Gura said:

@erik8lrl Boredom is a feature of the unawoken mind.

To the awoken mind, things are rarely boring. Every moment is mysterious and miraculous.

 I have those moments. Perhaps moments will become gaps will become stretches.

[Adam M]

@erik8lrl LOL I remember my first trip was a 2g shroom trip and I had been watching a bunch of Leo's videos and when I was tripping I was like...

"AWARENESS OMFG AWARENESS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT SHIT EVER! WE LIVE IN THE MATRIX BUT NOBODY KNOWS BECAUSE WE LACK AWARENESS"

and this just went on and on for like 3 hours

[Kserkkj]

@erik8lrl For Sure My Friend. Try Not To UNDERSTAND These Messages Through (Reaction - Meaning - Interpretation) TRIANGLE. They Cause Much Havoc To Your Habituated Energy Patterns. Use The Thought Power, That is the Key to Attainment Of KNOWLEDGE. EFFORTS_MENTAL. Must. Be. Made. In. A. Balanced. Way. It Is For the Advancement Of your Thinking Cabacities. My Friend. I WISH. I WISH. I WISH.

RIN. RIN. RIN.

[egoless]

@erik8lrl shrooms only show you what you are ready for. They also showed me absolute infinity for the first time I’ve tried them. And it was beautiful.

however, I got the same answers as you. It is our design to live in this ilussion. Therefore the only purpose of life is to explore this ilussion and create conscously. About Enlightenment- it is your inherent desire to become liberated. Something in you “remembers” your true nature and all throughout your life it is trying to fill this gap. The only way to fill it forever is to become Enlightened. It is your choice really... 

I got very clear answers that there are no true or false ways to live this life. Because this ilussion was designed by you, for you, forever! The only reason for it is exploration and creation and this is fuckin A! 

Live your life as you authenticly desire it’s all the matter of infinite perspectives...

Edited January 23, 2018 by egoless