The Paradox of Seeking and Realizing

[DocHoliday]

@phoenix666 Not necessarily because you already know too much and even if you should fall back...you will only participate in those activities until they really start to fuck you up - until you pull the brake yourself and you will tell yourself "enough is enough, let's grow up here". But that's juts an assumption, it certainly doesn't always happen this way, but surely most of the times. 

[Nahm]

@JustinS You gave up before you got “there”. That’s not it. That’s conceptual. If you reached the “end”, “completing the loop” your sentiment would be very different. Just a suggestion, but look at your finger right now, and ask it “how funny are you”? 

[JustinS]

@phoenix666 I think seeking, career, relationship, money, partying or whatever that you may think will fulfill you is what needs to be dropped. Seeking or spirituality is in the same category as the other stuff. The teacher is saying drop everything. It seems to me that there is no difference between seeking and the other stuff. It’s the temperory filling of the unevitable void. Stop holding, clinging, and doing anything. Don’t think your way. Burn away all your beliefs and concepts to the feeling of “I Am” and leave the rest to grace. 

...BUT at the same time I would recommend 1000 hours of meditation and lots of psychedelics LOL! Oh this paradox makes me sick to the stomach. No more I’m done. 

Edited January 21, 2018 by JustinS

[phoenix666]

@DocHoliday it is true, I often think that I know too much now. things that can't be unknown. I sometimes fall off the path for a couple of days, but lately I find less and less pleasure in 'low consciousness' things. things I used to live for, things I tried to find happiness in, now appear shallow. like I can see through them.

[phoenix666]

2 minutes ago, JustinS said:

@phoenix666 I think seeking, career, relationship, money, partying or whatever that you may think will fulfill you is what needs to be dropped. Seeking or spirituality is in the same category as the other stuff. The teacher is saying drop everything. It seems to me that there is no difference between seeking and the other stuff. It’s the temperory filling of the unevitable void. Stop holding, clinging, and doing anything. Don’t think your way. Burn away all your beliefs and concepts to the feeling of “I Am” and leave the rest to grace. 

I think I get it. and it is probably the last layer to take off before absolute nothingness. but that's at a very advanced state. before you get there, you have to replace career, relationship, money, partying and that stuff with spirituality, seeking, meditating, self inquiry, journaling and such things. I don't think I'm at that point yet. and I think that's why Leo keeps saying that this stuff is such hard work. because many people jump off and 'stop seeking' too soon, when they're still stuck in a 'low consciousness' life

[JustinS]

This video made it just stop and click. My mind was still, heart open after a mdma heart opening experience that eventually became the Absolute. Next day I watched this and I laughed like never before. If I had seen this last week it would have flown from one end to the other. If you see it than you see it. If you don’t, you will. ?

[DocHoliday]

@JustinS Yeah bruh, that's what my signature is about, right there... He should have just let her to it all by herself instead of wanting her to move and be still afterwards:P That's her most profound moment right there, that's her realisation. I've experienced the same kind of non-stop hysterical laughter for like half an hour straight. I just couldn't stop, everytime I looked at anything, especially other people around me, I just had to start laughing all over again as if they told me the most hillarious joke, even though the only thing they did was just being present. 

[JustinS]

@DocHoliday ? it’s a sick joke but to the separate self it’s not, and I have empathy for that too. It’s like you’re playing in the game but you know its just a game. There are other players who believe it’s very real and you can’t threaten that. I know cause it did to me before. It only made me feel more contracted and solid. In my experience Love, openness, and compassion is the key. Be vulnerable, be you. Cry and laugh alot!

[JustinS]

Now that I see it, the deeper your search the better. What you’re creating is like a sling shot. The deeper your yearning the further you pull back on the sling, til a point where you can’t pull anywhere. The sling rips apart or swings the other way completely shattering the whole slingshot. Without this intense pulling there wouldn’t have been this breakthrough. 

[JustinS]

@Nahm I have not completed anything. I’ve only just started and that is why the laughs are so apparent right now. I’ve literally just started and it’s polarizing between sad and funny. Within time I know this laughing will go and deeper and deeper embodiment will have to take place. Shit’s about to get real and I feel the body needs some serious purging to do. 

[Nahm]

@JustinS Hell yeah man. ❤️ It is really funny. 

[Kserkkj]

@JustinS Re-AliSE That Seeking Is For IlluSion. And For-Getting It Is Interchanging The Vibrations With Truer Ones. True-er Vibrations Never Dis-ease This Being. False carries much Loaded Exaggerations In the Undercurrent Of THOUGHTS. So. HAVE SUPREME SUPERVISION. What does this MEAN you ask? Well, See without seeing, hear without hearing, be without being. Don't feel but feel, Don't think and don't know but Know your thoughts and Let them think. Find The one which brought It to Existence. Find The Whole beyond the Mote. Find Nothingness beyond Your Concept of Yourself. Attain YOU within YOU. And Know It without Knowing without awareness. See Fully = Seeing Seeing And you See What is Seeing? And You Are What??? Attain Yourself And go To Boundaries Beyond Boundaries. Then You Be-Come un-Becoming. 

WCRTY. TODIFJELSKD.

[30secs]

yea, everything is peace.

 

[JustinS]

This will only make sense after spiritual exhaustion. 

[JustinS]

The whole mechanism of seeking is designed to ultimately fail. When it finally fails with certainty, that’s enlightenment. The more you are deeper in exhaustion and frustration, the better. 

Edited January 22, 2018 by JustinS

[SOUL]

On 1/21/2018 at 0:43 AM, Joseph Maynor said:

The Mind is never where you're gonna find Enlightenment. 

The mind is the place where endarkenment happens so it's where enlightenment happens.

[Nahm]

@JustinS Beautiful video. Thanks for sharing it ❤️

[JustinS]

Throughout the day today I've oscillated from being awake to asleep, from intuitively and experientially knowing who I really am vs. locked in the prison of the mind-body organism. It's truly a God sent gift once I pull my head out of the water, and I immediately get depressed, clingy, and desperate as soon as I forget that it's a dream. It's literally the difference of night and day. Being awake vs. asleep feels night and day... It's waking up from the dream, no other way to put it, and as an ego it's pure doubt. Like tripping and experiencing the Absolute and falling back down to your identity, not gonna lie it's kinda depressing.

When I'm back locked in the mind-body box I just carefully and single handedly observe each thought and fully experience them. There are so many doubts, insecurities, and fears. Even if I tell myself in the back of my mind, I am not this, not that. It doesn't really penetrate. 

I've just experimented that the only way to truly rest and relax into my Being is to let my body go on these full on Kundalini energy releases. It can be painful but it's purification at best. The energy just shoots the unconsciousness up through my body and out the top of my head. It's pretty much identical to a epileptic seizure, however, I do have control to stop it. I want to post a video here what it looks like but I'm kinda hesitant hahaha. It looks like being possessed. 

Anyways, I'm still only beginning to realize who I Am. 

[JustinS]

As soon as I'm identified and locked in as an ego, it feels like there is literally nothing to do but seek, seek, and seek. As soon as I pull my head out of the water, there is just an immediate knowing to just STOP!. It's such a f****** trip!  Wow. Fulfillment vs. Unfulfillment. Emptiness is fulfillment. 

[JustinS]

The ego that thinks it's going to get enlightened and be better or somehow more special than anyone else is the all time greatest disappointment that has ever existed. It's like getting caught cheating and never admitting it, until you give up and tell the Truth but 100,000,000x worse and cringey. Once you awaken everyone is awaken. How you perceive the world is directly proportional to the magnitude of your identity.