How to have belief in yourself that you can become a success?

[OnceMore]

I'm really having trouble believing that I can be successful in my life. 

This is probably due to having so many failures over the past few years that it has sort of become a habit, and is ingrained now. It's a horrible and instantly self-defeating mindset. 

And this mindset is with everything: 'Oh what's the point in meditating? I'll only quit after like two days anyway.' or 'Oh what's the point in learning how to program? I'll never be as good as those guys who started when they were like aged 13' or 'Oh whats the point in reading this self development book? I'll never implement the stuff to my life anyway' or 'Oh what's the point in trying to get a good career, I'd only suck at it anyway'

But I want to turn this around. I want to have incredible belief in myself that I go out in to the world achieve good things for myself and others, rather than have this debilitating self-defeat that eats at me the moment I wake up for a new day. 

And I've even noticed that my personality is changing; I'm becoming more of a realist/pessimist. I was always an optimist before, but now I'm definitely becoming more of a realist/pessimist. 

I've noticed that I've started to become bitter and resentful. Saying things like 'Yeah, it makes sense that it works for that guy, but it'll never work out for me because x'. Even when I stumble upon a motivational-like video on youtube, I say things like 'This video would probably be good for someone, but that someone is not me'. I'll maybe watch one and think 'Bullshit! Does this guy who makes this video not know how difficult life can be?! Or how much luck is an important factor?!'

I'd rather not be bitter and resentful.

So how do you have belief in yourself that you can win?

[Slade]

@OnceMore are you familiar with the work of Dr joe dispenza? He designed meditations for reprogramming your subconscious mind with new beliefs and pruning away at the old beliefs you don’t want to hold anymore. Check out his book “Breaking the habit of being yourself”