The Process Of "looking" - Updated?

[Anton Rogachevski]

After watching Leo's new video about the nature of the true self,

where he is saying to actively seek for it.

I keep wondering if the process of looking should be any different,

since it's basically proving to yourself that you don't exist.

 

[Azrael]

58 minutes ago, Actualizer said:

I keep wondering if the process of looking should be any different, since it's basically proving to yourself that you don't exist.

Basically, you have do decide for yourself what to do in which state of the journey. If Leo is talking about changing the process, you always have to see that he is at some point in his journey and you might be at another one.

Maybe Looking doesn't do much good at all for you? Maybe, it's the technique that lets you have a sudden awaking? If you still have such a strong sense of yourself as a fundamental - not part of this world - thing, then yes go dig deep enough 'till the shit purges and the self starts to break into pieces.

Now, I'm for example are not awake yet but my sense of self is kind of shattered, laying on the ground. I had a lot of realizations that did that and so I'm at a stage at which I actually stop seeking that much, but more accepting that everything as it is is the way it has to be and is perfect. That's my current challenge, to actually see that.

So, the journey has a lot of routes and a lot of let's say burdens to overcome. Investigate deeply what this is currently for you and then take the technique that fits it the best to work on it.

[Anton Rogachevski]

I appreciate your detailed reply Arik,

Right now I'm not familiar with many techniques, except for looking.

I don't have much time to research more methods, and i trust that Leo's method is the best I can get realistically.

 

How do you practice acceptance?

[Azrael]

1 hour ago, Actualizer said:

How do you practice acceptance?

First of all, if you wanting to "accept everything" in terms of try to liking it, stop that. This won't work very well - as you probably experienced yourself - and is phony. Why should you like something you ... actually dislike? That's bullshit.

What you can do though is to stop giving a shit. Meaning, you say to yourself that "it is okay that ... happens".

It is okay that I'm stuck in traffic, it is okay that I don't like myself. It is okay that I can't see that I'm awake, it is okay that my job bores the crap outta me.

If you implement this phrase "it is okay that ... happens" you start you accept the occurrence of any event just because by nature of its happening it should be that way. Everything is okay - just because it happens. Just because this is nature and nature seems to want this event to happen.

If you do that you start to distance your involvement in all these "external" events, so this gives you some peace. Some silence. Some knowing that this is just the way it is.

From then on - and only then - you can start to take real action to change things. Because you are not bound to them anymore. You erased your personal conflict with it. Then you can just decide to say goodbye to the events that no longer should be around you. And if this doesn't work, if you can't take another job - if it's crappy - or if you can't attract that one girl or you don't make the amount of money you want ... you just go back to square one and say "it is okay that ... happens".

Matt Khan told me this way of going about it in this video and I love that approach.

[WelcometoReality]

@Arik To me there was both an active process of asking myself "why does this bug me so much?" And a passive approach of just accepting. 

It was a fine line between conscious and unconscious surrendering though. Just pushing away all the bad stuff easily becomes a habit. 

 

[Azrael]

2 minutes ago, WelcometoReality said:

Just pushing away all the bad stuff easily becomes a habit. 

I'd say this is not the worst habit to have, don't you think? However, I would just let it be, look at it, be astonished by what nature puts out into my world and then turn my back on it.

But it seems to me that you have found your way with this one. Cheers to you, dude!

[WelcometoReality]

@Arik Well some things you need to face. Had some stuff I pushed away for 12 years and paid for it with a depression. ☺

[FindingPeace]

13 hours ago, WelcometoReality said:

Just pushing away all the bad stuff easily becomes a habit. 

You don't 'push bad stuff away'. You stop seeing things as 'good' and 'bad'. Acceptance is to stop judging, labelling, questioning. To stop valuing (positive or negative). It isn't pushing things away and sweeping them under the carpet.

13 hours ago, WelcometoReality said:

Well some things you need to face. Had some stuff I pushed away for 12 years and paid for it with a depression.

That's because you failed to accept the situation. Yes, pushing stuff away and not confronting it will lead to depression. Accetance is facing it. Head on. And being ok with it. It happened, it was, it is, whichever. It's the stories we surround things with that try to deny that something is what it is that causes the suffering.

[WelcometoReality]

1 hour ago, FindingPeace said:

You don't 'push bad stuff away'. You stop seeing things as 'good' and 'bad'. Acceptance is to stop judging, labelling, questioning. To stop valuing (positive or negative). It isn't pushing things away and sweeping them under the carpet.

That's because you failed to accept the situation. Yes, pushing stuff away and not confronting it will lead to depression. Accetance is facing it. Head on. And being ok with it. It happened, it was, it is, whichever. It's the stories we surround things with that try to deny that something is what it is that causes the suffering.

You're so right. This was back in fantasy land though so just did what I'd been taught to do.  I was really unconscious but the depression made me go to a therapist and that slowly changed my way of thinking and most important distancing myself from my thoughts.