Almost no friends

[pluto]

Happy Birthday!

<3

[Aquarius]

@BobbyLowell True, I realised the same thing recently.

@pluto Thanks. <3 So good to be in my 20's finally.

[Max_V]

@Aquarius I know what you're talking about, since deciding to fully commit to this journey I've lost almost all my friends. I did not stay in touch with them when we all went to new schools. They seem to be heading the completely opposite direction of where I want to be.

It's really hard to find friends who are living their own Hero's journey and who want to be the best they can be.

I like people on here though, but it's just not the same as real life friends.

[Aquarius]

@Max_V Thanks for your empathy. How is your journey so far?

[Shin]

Just go on meetup and do as many events as you want.

Then maybe you'll get some friends out of it

And /Or join some regular activities (a sport, a book club, a charity group etc...). 

 

@Max_V There is like 3% top of people who actually wants to do that, but you don't need to befriend people like that, you could be friend with almost anybody, but I get what you mean.

I would also like to have one or two friends to talk about those things in real life, encourage each other etc ...

It's not the same online, but even if it was the case, the only friend you can really count on is yourself anyway so ...  

Edited February 27, 2018 by Shin

[Max_V]

@Aquarius It has it's ups and downs haha, but throughout I'm pretty proud of what I've accomplished so far.

Mainly working on my shadow and unwiring my neurotic personality is a big one I'm working on really hard, throughout 2017 and 2018 I've seen some really awesome growth on that department.

Right now I'm in the process of finding and living my Life Purpose while also learning more about nutrition and fitness. Pretty excited about both of these  

What about yours, what are you focussing on atm? 

[smd]

Interesting.  Other than some online buddies, I don't have any friends at all.  I just ditched a couple of my oldest friends when I realized they were kind of faking their friendship towards me.   I have a few at the nearby bar, but we're not really close.

The funny thing is that I don't feel alone at all.  I still have my gf, my co-workers, & family.

What makes someone your friend anyway?    I was realizing that the friends that I had in my court for the past few decades, just went out of their way to never visit, except maybe three times a year.  So it sparked into my head that they weren't really my friends at all...just giving me platitudes (like wishing me a Merry Xmas but saying they're too busy to stop by when I've got some days off, not even for an hour).

So my friends were nothing more than thoughts.  They're not really there.  Figments of my imagination.

Probably over a year ago, was the last time I felt lonely or that I needed more friends.  Nothing came of it either.

I come from a long line of hermits, so I suppose it's very easy to get used to the silence...the Internet slowly making hermits of us all me thinks.

[Dan Arnautu]

@Aquarius I can feel for your situation.

In order to get out of this rut, you will have to get out of your comfort zone. That means joining clubs, groups, communities and making an effort to talk to the people there.

You have to BE a friend first before you can get a friend.

Also, remember that you'll need to go into the situation with the mindset that you have to GIVE to the other person. If you do not genuinely enjoy being around the people that you meet and you just use them just to cure your loneliness, that will come into their radar very quickly.

Your priority should be to find friends that have the same mindset and values that you do. That's what's gonna be most fulfilling.

On 1/19/2018 at 7:51 PM, Aquarius said:

Where I live people aren't that open to strangers, they might think you want something from them or idk. At least in a small town like this. But yeah, I could easily spot the people who would be good for me so I might try. Problem is, what do I say to them? Or any books on cold-approaching?

Don't pay much attention to what your mind tells you. That's just resistance kicking in. I suggest you read the book "Beginners Daygame" by Krauser. It gives you step by step exercises to start talking to people. The reality is that your mind is CREATING the barriers between you and other people. They are not actually there. You are just used to thinking that and confuse it with reality.  

Go to any cashier and with a smile and just ask how their day was. Just two minutes later she will be talking to you about her children, her dreams and what not. People are dying to have someone listen to them talk. 

[Ether]

On 28/01/2018 at 9:18 PM, BobbyLowell said:

nononono DO NOT PRACTICE CONVERSATION. authenticity is where its at in building friendships. stop caring what others think of you and dont be needy, place yourself in positive forces

 

On 29/01/2018 at 9:27 PM, pluto said:

Happy Birthday!

<3

 

[Rob06]

On 19-1-2018 at 6:36 PM, Aquarius said:

I'm not the type to go to parties every day n stuff (never even been to a real party)

Go to a party then! 

Plus, you don't need a ton of friends. Imagine all the time you would have to spend to keep up all those friendships. It seems like you have a lot of cool interests, which definitely helps in finding friends. Also, face to face contact with friends works way better than contact through social media. Ask one or some of your best friends/acquintences to meet up, do something fun like going dining or having a couple of drinks at the pub.

[Aquarius]

@Shin Yeah, I could ask my dad to take me in this nearby town for cool events (parents live separately and I don't really talk to dad). You know guys, since I posted this thread I evolved a lot, many of the problems listed above were solved, I realised how gifted I am and now I try to be more grateful for everything I have in life, both material and immaterial, and I also realised I actually DON'T EVEN HAVE TIME FOR FRIENDS! At least not right now. I am very busy with studying, I started taking classes and have a busy schedule, me and my boyfriend broke up, etc.. I have a couple of friends whom I meet occasionally like once a week or once a month, and like 2-3 internet friends too for having meaningful conversations. I have all the time in the world for studying because no one pushes me to work. Life is good.  

@Max_V How does one work on their shadow self? Can you give me some details? Maybe some sources too? And where do I start with unwiring? Sounds big indeed!

I'm now laser-focusing on getting my diploma and that's it for now. After I get my diploma I will try to create a business out of my art and with the earned money I will buy books which I will study in my free time. I mean after I finish the other hundreds of books I own (I told ya guys I'm gifted  ). Books like classic literature, spirituality, philosophy, art... And meanwhile maybe going to some events with my dad, strenghtening our father-daughter relationship, travel, culture, nature... 

Another thing I work on is understanding politics. I just watch/read random news and try to form an opinion. And since I'm a "music addict" I'm also interested in getting cultured in music, knowing a thing or two, not just listening to random stuff. It all has history, meaning, etc. So I'm studying music too. I know many of you are going to disagree with me with these last two things (politics and music), but for me they're important. 

@Dan Arnautu I'm pretty open-minded, empathic, and a good listener. I'm willing to give, yes. Your response was very helpful, and thanks for the book recommendation!

@Rob06 Thanks a lot.

[Shin]

@Aquarius Good good, happy for you

@Ether Dude, I have no problem if someone wants to make jokes on me, but could you avoid bad jokes about me being a perv ?

Edited March 3, 2018 by Shin

[Ether]

@Shin shin will be ur friend. he attaches pretty much to a lot of people, including me, he sends me dicc pics on the pms

"oh no, shin , please stop" i say, but he doesnt listen

[Ether]

@Shin im just kidding man, dont have so much sensitivity

[Aquarius]

Haha, I love you guys.  

[UDT]

On 19/01/2018 at 6:36 PM, Aquarius said:

It's my birthday this Sunday and it sucks that I have no one to celebrate with. I will be turning 20.

I finished school 2 years ago and I'm unemployed, about to get my diploma this year (struggling to motivate myself). I have a wide interest list, I'm basically interested in everything, I also make lots of art and crafts, I'm a music addict and could recommend a song to anyone. In general when I talk to old friends or internet friends via Facebook they seem to really like me, they say I'm their best friend etc., but somehow everyone is busy with life and I'm left alone. I mean I'm not the type to go to parties every day n stuff (never even been to a real party), but like literally never going outside?? It's a shame.

I have a boyfriend, but he is 10 years older than me and we have difficulties in our relationship. I think it's the age gap. I need "lots" of care as he would say, but honestly wouldn't any girl my age? Besides, all I want is just a walk in the park or doing something interesting once a month at least, but all we do is that I visit him like twice a week then go home in the morning. He doesn't make any effort, he doesn't even care about himself. So I'm lonely again.

How could I make more friends? Any advice would help.  

easy, quit the guy and hit the gym.

[Shin]

38 minutes ago, UDT said:

easy, quit the guy and hit the gym.

And smile.

Here goes 2/3 guys a day that will cold approach her.

EASY !

[Sine]

Maybe when you start School again, you will get friends and meet people your age  that could also be motivation to start

[Samuel Garcia]

@Aquarius Go online and search for meet up groups with the same interests as you. 

Try going to society events to a college near you so you make friends you own age.

Keep going out to events and meeting lots of people and eventually you may find some more friends you can connect with.

Best of luck. Hope you make more friends  

[Igor82]

Guys, I have no friends as well. My circle of influence is my family (my mother, sister, and my father), and I only have one friend (my best friend) which I chat to trough skype once in a while.

I live with my mother and my sister, so Im social within the family, but I wonder if I will miss out on critical stuff if I keep on like this for a couple of years more. 

I am very introverted, but I have no general social issues.

Thanks in advance!