Why do i feel like people are better than me?

[Omario]

So I've started to become aware of the origin of many of my negative and worth crushing thoughts.

Its the belief that somehow people are different than me and that they think in a way that I do not.                                                                                                                      That they somehow "get it" and i don't. This puts me in a position where I'm "lower" than they are.

I would really like to hear from you.

Why do i believe this? How do i start to turn it around?

 

[Joseph Maynor]

In what ways are you ashamed about the way you are?

[snowleopard]

@Omario  Feeling that selves are better than one another is kind of like feeling that Luke Skywalker is better than Harry Potter.  

[Viking]

 

I really recommend going through the playlist section of actualized.org youtube and watching videos, this is basic stuff and its covered in much more depth and quality that you will receive in the forum.

Edited January 18, 2018 by Ilya

[Nathan]

Nobodys particularly "better" than anyone on the whole, they're just different. Worth is gauged based on whatever your measuring. Society values particular traits, evolution favours survivability but life is unbiased.

How did it start? Who knows.. perhaps as you grew up you weren't as exposed to societies rules and regulations and then at some point somebody called you weird and you developed a complex about it. 

I used to be very self-conscious and my esteem was terrible... I was unable to meet the "mark" from my perspective. Most people I watched had flowing conversations and everything they said was so appropriate. In comparison I was so insecure and hyper-critical of the thoughts that came across my mind that I'd stumble ungracefully over my words or fail to speak at all. 

I was shit, valueless! A waste of space! But eventually I started to notice there were a multitude of things I valued highly myself, in myself that society at large didn't put too much emphasis on or assign much worth to..and that grew until the kind of things I was envious of in others no longer mattered so much.

Focus more on things you appreciate about yourself rather than what others have which you do not. The human race is like a team, it's members have all kinds of different skillsets and ways of thinking about things. Capable of navigating through all kinds of circumstances that arise on planet earth.

 

[star ark]

This isn't advice but only an observation I've made when trying to determine whether I wrote a good song or not, basically most people always act under the assumption they are talented - their parents probably had a big hand in how the view the world - and that their subjective opinions are correct. At the same time a few people always seem to think that they are not good enough, and some of these self critical people are actually not nearly as bad as they think. Lastly the rarest group is the group that understand how talented they really are. Basically just by asking this question I think you are on your way to joining that last group. Mark Knopfler from Dire Straits cannot sing and he knows it so he intentionally writes all his songs specifically to cover up this fact - he knows what he's good at and what he's bad at.

[Joseph Maynor]

14 minutes ago, star ark said:

This isn't advice but only an observation I've made when trying to determine whether I wrote a good song or not, basically most people always act under the assumption they are talented - their parents probably had a big hand in how the view the world - and that their subjective opinions are correct. At the same time a few people always seem to think that they are not good enough, and some of these self critical people are actually not nearly as bad as they think. Lastly the rarest group is the group that understand how talented they really are. Basically just by asking this question I think you are on your way to joining that last group. Mark Knopfler from Dire Straits cannot sing and he knows it so he intentionally writes all his songs specifically to cover up this fact - he knows what he's good at and what he's bad at.

Add Joe Walsh to that list too:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joe_Walsh

[sgn]

2 hours ago, snowleopard said:

@Omario  Feeling that selves are better than one another is kind of like feeling that Luke Skywalker is better than Harry Potter.  

Haha gold

[Faceless]

@Omario

Because you have set an image about how u think u should be and you don’t feel that image has been met or actualized. So you assume you are not good enough because u fall short of the projected image.

No image no Projected assumptions or beliefs. And no image no psychological conflict. 

If that makes sense?

Edited January 18, 2018 by Faceless

[YaNanNallari]

Even if they were to be better at something it's just one scale. It's nothing absolute.

[pluto]

The word "better" does not exist

[Omario]

@Nathan You are a either a genius or really wise, i think both

See the thing with me is, i was never the introvert that didn't fit in, was hyper critical, self conscious, negative etc... I always was the leader of my peers and the one that was a hold of most social interactions. I was bullied hard over the years for that very reason, when you live in an ape society like the middle east (where i grew up) people are envious and will go out of their way to physically, emotionally and mentally abuse you, for a problem they them selves feel the need to project onto others.

You know it really sucks, I am actually stuck in this super complex mental model of the world i created as a way to manage my anxiety, its as if its rigged against me.

Would LOVE to hear more from you 

[aurum]

@Omario

You turn it around by becoming conscious of the fact that no one is better or worse than anyone.

He's a tough question: who in your life do you feel superior to? Tell the truth.

[Omario]

@aurum

literally i feel superior to no one. sure i can act like it at times to prove that i am but in reality that isnt how i feel.

[aurum]

@Omario

Let me ask the same question a different way. Who constantly makes you angry?

I'm asking this because inferiority is just the flip side of superiority. If you think you're worse than someone, you must also think you're better than someone.

[Omario]

@aurum well worded,

I get what you're trying to say. my issue is obviously a self esteem issue. lets say i was a 5/10 on the self esteem scale, i would feel Superior to a person with 3/10 self esteem, but even then i find a way to lower my self in order to please them.

In the end i feel helpless.

I was never like this read my response to @Nathan

Edited January 19, 2018 by Omario

[student]

They are futile thoughts. Even if they are "better" or not than you, that shouldn't preoccupy you. Every person has its own path. You are not focused on yourself, you are focused on the external. These thoughts can easily be absent, they are not important, they just seem to be important. Exaggeration is present.

Besides that, you can see I but "better" in quotation marks, because labels, opinions doesn't really show/mean anyting. They are just a distance from reality. Recenter yourself.

[Joseph Maynor]

You might be ready to watch this video.