That One Kiss

[F A B]

What kind of topic do you usually cover just before kissing a girl for the first time?

Random stuff?  Emotional stuff? Or something?

Do you let her know your intentions somehow? Or Are you kind of mysterious?

[Spiral]

No specific topic, generally you get closer and more physical, after that you go for it. 

For instance last night I hand my hand on her inner thighs before I kissed her, we were talking about "street music". Sitting like an "X" with her legs over mine. So I was not able to reach her mouth but I was close to her legs.

There is no one way to do that. In a Netflix and chill situation I generally put my arm around her first and then go for the kiss when it feels reasonable. Gently touch her arm in the other side, after ten minutes (ish)when he movie is kinda chill go it.

If it's in a bar or club I generally go for it when they seem like they want to. Generally they first look at your eyes then your mouth.

On a date I do it when it ends if I felt like it went well. I would avoid having the kiss be the first physical contact I have.

You can get closer to her face and look at her mouth to show her you want to before you go for it.

Edited January 18, 2018 by Spiral

[F A B]

@Spiral your answer is really concise and specific! thank you so much 

Actually, I'm not an expert, I'm 19 and I've kissed only a few girls

But what I personally find out in my little experience is that:

• talking about emotional stuff just before kissing isn't a good idea. I did that and I felt like I killed the mood.
• kissing while sitting hurts your neck.

I'm just curious to hear your own experience guys, and what you think about that.

[Spiral]

@F A B 19 is a great age, most of my growth happened when I was 19.  Also when it comes to girls.

Try to be more on top of the girl when you kiss her, rather beside her. The more you do it the more natural it feels.

Not sure what you mean by emotional stuff but talking about super serious topics might not be the best. Try to keep the conversation light hearted and flirtatious.

If you talk about how your father has cancer and then go for a kiss, you'll kinda ruin the vibe. Not saying you shouldn't open up but it's not a good time for kissing.

Another thing that became very clear to me is that girls like to feel special even if you just meet to hook up. So talking about how you would be fine sleeping with another girl instead is generally not a good idea. 

Things I've learned:

• Be restrictive when it comes to tongue use. Less is better.

 

• Kissing into light neck kissing is a great way to escalate into more fun things. Light and slow is key here. 

[F A B]

1 hour ago, Spiral said:

Not sure what you mean by emotional stuff

 

I'm sorry, "emotional" is too general. Maybe "sentimental" is the best word. I mean talking about previous relationships and analyzing some emotions.

At the beginning, I tended to do that to figure out whether she was interested in me or not. Approval need, fear of rejection...

Now I tend to avoid that kind of stuff.

1 hour ago, Spiral said:

If you talk about how your father has cancer and then go for a kiss

Ahahahah absolutely not

1 hour ago, Spiral said:

Be restrictive when it comes to tongue use. Less is better.

I agree

 

 

What about the place?

Except for clubs and similar, it's better far from prying eyes, Right? Maybe outside if the weather allows it. What do you think?

Edited January 18, 2018 by F A B

[F A B]

1 hour ago, Spiral said:

Kissing into light neck kissing is a great way to escalate into more fun things. Light and slow is key here.

I almost forgot! Yes, I'll try it as soon as possible 

[Gabriel Antonio]

There really is no rule. Make sure you don't get stuck in paralysis by analysis. 

[aurum]

@F A B

I'm going to pick on you a bit and say that your question is way too broad.

I've made out with girls without even talking and I've made out with girls after a long period of getting to know each other. There's really no hard and fast rule here.

Here's some better questions:

1) What is attraction and what is the cause of it?

2) How do I know when a girl is feeling attracted to me?

3) What do women think about sex?

If you answer these questions, you'll have the answer to your original question and more.

[F A B]

@aurum Ok,

I'll try to be more specific. 

Is talking about attraction unattractive?

[Spiral]

13 hours ago, F A B said:

I'm sorry, "emotional" is too general. Maybe "sentimental" is the best word. I mean talking about previous relationships and analyzing some emotions.

I would skip talking about exes in general, unless the girl asks. If she does try to be possitive. Saying that girl was crazy is not going to help you at all. Talking about serious problems and opening up is good but not before kissing the girl.

13 hours ago, F A B said:

What about the place?

Except for clubs and similar, it's better far from prying eyes, Right? Maybe outside if the weather allows it. What do you think?

Yeah absolutely, try to avoid being somewhere where she knows people, like work/school etc. Bonus points for being completely alone with her. I have a nice garden near where I live, it's good if it's a serious date. Although normally most of my first kisses happens at her/my place.

Edited January 19, 2018 by Spiral

[aurum]

@F A B

It could, it could not. It's not that simple.

Realize that there's many different guys who do good with women and many different ways of going about it. So what that means is that there must be underlying principles that explain what is happening.

Start seeking out the principles of attraction rather than trying to figure out what to do in every single scenario. That's what my last response was saying.

Instead of asking "is it unattractive if I do X", ask yourself "what is a girl's experience like? What makes her attracted to some guys and not others?". Keep asking yourself this until you realize there's more to attraction than what is going on the surface.

[F A B]

@aurum

So I should start the self-inquiry from the bigger picture and then move on to the smaller things. Not reverse.

Smaller things can change, the bigger picture cannot.

I hope I got it, thank you so much

Edited January 20, 2018 by F A B

[F A B]

On 1/18/2018 at 10:24 PM, Gabriel Antonio said:

There really is no rule. Make sure you don't get stuck in paralysis by analysis.

Yes I know, Deida helped me a lot, but I should remember what you said more often.

Thank you Gabriel

 

 

On 1/19/2018 at 10:59 AM, Spiral said:

try to avoid being somewhere where she knows people

Bonus if you succeed when she is with her friends ahaha

Thank you Spiral

[pluto]

aww

[Ether]

stop overthinking man

 

no nike, just do it