My Best Friend Repels Women

[FinnishJon]

I have a really good and loyal friend, let's call him Fridge, who I've known since 2004 who comes over to my house once a week and once a week, usually Friday night, we also go on a hike in the city.  My only problem with him is that he suffers from OCD and has hygiene issues that cause women to take one look at him and turn around and avoid him.  He's not a bad looking guy, a bit overweight, but extremely shy from lifelong experience of being rejected in this way.

I'm recently divorced and trying to improve my own social life by going out and meeting women, but whenever I'm with Fridge, I end up without any female companionship, and sometimes I get frustrated at the situation.  I love Fridge because he's a good person... very honest, loyal, and smart.  But he is clueless when it comes to emotions, women, self-development, and psychology.  I don't want to hurt his feelings by shunning him, but if I keep up this friendship, I have the feeling I'm going to end up as alone and neurotic as he is. 

Any advice?

[Guest]

Lol, either talk this out with him or simply go without him. 

When you talk with him in a nice way and he won't improve, just tell him that you are feeling like going alone more often. You can do a lot of other stuff with him, while you go out chasing vaginas without him. It's really not that hard. He either wants to improve or not, it shall not be your burden.

Or, what do you want? Do you want to go with him? Or do you rather want to go without him?

Edited February 28, 2016 by The Alchemist

[xXxXx]

Be honest with him, i am sure he understands your concern and if not you've tried at least. Just hand it to him in a sensitive way, to minimize intimidation. Wish you luck!

Edited February 28, 2016 by Locooig

[FinnishJon]

Thanks, all, I followed your advice and told him.  It felt right to do it.  I just hope he doesn't hold a grudge or get depressed about it.

[xXxXx]

@8LanguageStud Just out of curiosity, how did he react?

[FinnishJon]

@Locooig He seemed okay with it, but I talked to him over the phone, so it was difficult to judge without any body language... I have to check again in person.  I hope he isn't upset, and I suspect he isn't.  He's really a good person, just struggles due to inner mental issues.

[Natura Sonoris]

Dont be anyone's luggage. You dont owe anyone anything. We are selfish organisms in general, even tho we should show love and compassion. Just think about ; are both of you moving somewhere ? If not, just stay friends when solo. Try talking to him about his issues, if he keeps telling he cant change, let him be. Btw this should be done in person, it looks like you are cutting him off completely. Thats kinda "coward" approach. 

Edited March 5, 2016 by Natura Sonoris

[ite]

@8LanguageStud

I think in your situation there are to goals from your POV.

A short term goal and a long term goal

 

the short term goal being getting rid of your friend in situations where u know u want to go out and meet women

the long term goal trying to help your friend in a way so he can tag along, maybe be your wingman 

 

Here is a link to an ridicules powerful book called psycho-cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz

I guess just try to pitch it to your friend - I do believe this can be a huge change for ur friend

* There will be an audible version as well a pdf for download *

https://archive.org/details/New_PsychoCybernetics

 

Note: As far as my understanding goes providing the link is within the user guidelines and there are no copyright infringements since its under "CC Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0" 

However if I should've made a mistake please let me know - so appropriate actions can be taken.

 

All credit goes to Maxwell Maltz 

[FinnishJon]

@ite Thanks! I will keep you up to date on how he responds.