Intuition or fear? Or both?

[Amadeusz]

Hey guys I've been living with my parents now for like over a year. I came back to them after living in a big city because of some project. Now when the project is over I've been feeling painful sensation in my chest telling me to move to the big city again as I am a musician and you know it's helpful to live in a big city with my vocation. But at the same time I feel huge resistance to do it. I don't know if it's my intuition and I became too lazy so I feel this resistance or maybe that's my ego whipping me to do more and to do what I SHOULD do. I even rent a flat again but resigned from it quickly. I noticed that this itch is negative motivation based i.e. it wants me to move because otherwise I will become lazy couch potato and settle in my parents house forever. It's basically fear oriented. Living here I have my job, practice everyday, meditate and sometimes write songs, even perform at local venues so it's not like I'm rotting here ?

Thanks for reading! Do you have some ideas how to overcome this obstacle? Maybe it's not about moving to another city but it's some nasty ego backlash? It comes in spells. 

Edited January 17, 2018 by Amadeusz

[martin_malin]

You're back in the ordinary world and the status quo doesn't seem to bring you peace. 

Edited January 17, 2018 by martin_malin

[Amadeusz]

Thanks for reply. Hmm actually I find this position quite peaceful. Of course there is this negative emotion coming back. But maybe it's some kind of ego backlash? Leo proposed strategy to question an intuition. If it's fake intuition it will come with justifications, if it's true it will be silent. But I don't resonate with this advice, I can't hear if there is justification or not. How to distinguish 'shoulds' from my intuition? Do you have some strategies?