Topic About Opening Heart

[MisterMan]

Hello. New here, and never knew there was a place where you could request idea's for video's, fantastic!. Originally i wanted to say how much i admire Leo but i'll leave that stuff at the bottom.  This is long but i promise it'll make sense at the end as there is a bit of info that needs context in order for everything to fit in place with what i'm requesting.

Terrence Mckenna suggested to smoke marijuana once every while and when you do go deep. This can act like a very introspective and powerful psychedelic.  This has been something i have been making a habit of every fortnight and every time i get some deep insights, to the point i can see how people can misinterpret my experiences as a psychotic episode as your ego begins to dissolve if you don't know what's happening and have enough baggage the mind can weave any crazy story to the experience you're having. But i digress Leo,  you beautiful son of a bitch. 

The experience i had was one of going through all of my emotions and perceiving my self to be splitted into fractions of my ego.  This is always an intense and can be a frightening experience, my approach has always been to follow the fear which is terrifying. So i became aware of my angry self, scared self, arrogant self, etc. I felt very aware of all the sides of me and i began to be aware of sides of me wanting more time in the sun to be expressed which i was denying. So there was a process of letting it all out as my ego had appeared to be suppressing some feelings ( i have been addicted to drugs and am on a suboxone program now slowly weaning off so repressing emotions was my daily grind for over 16 years, i've been reading a lot about meditation and mindfulness and a lot of it resonated and made sense so i guess the next logical extension would be to stop repressing my feelings as it's literally one of the first things you need to tackle if you're taking this seriously)

I went through different stages of intense or pure emotional states, like the ones mentioned above. After about 10 of these, the last one was LOVE. I felt as if a crack, a kink in my armor protecting this part of myself began to shine through which i assume was the mechanics of my ego that built up this defence which has completely locked my heart away. Don't love or be compassionate because it will hurt you. It wasn't much of a perceived crack, it was tiny, but it was profound,

The love i felt was endless, infinite, no sense of fearing to love. The love just embraced everything and i cried, whimpering for hours and hours. It was a very beautiful and profound experience. I then began to see the statement "open your heart" which i had heard a lot i find in my life in a different light, as i was able to connect this experience to that phrase. So i looked it up.

Surprisingly there is not a lot of information about opening your heart on the interenet. Not as much as I feel there should be.  Before the emotional stages i experienced. I had initially become aware of how circumstantially dependant i was to be happy. How many hoops or stars that needed to be aligned for me to be happy and how ultimately wether they did or did not allign I was still the one designating/handing down props or punishment to myself based on....circumstance!

Which did not make much sense to me at the time.  All these boundaries and concepts that i had attached happiness or lack of felt completely baseless as they all ultimately felt as if they were the middle man selling me a product i already had , bah! I have no use for this! begone!

I No longer felt the defensive reactions in me reflecting off one another creating a room of mirrrors (in constant conflict, with a set hierarchy of values). Rather you feel whole, everything is the same, it's you!  

There is a  video of yours in question where you said you were meditating for 3 hours and then a bird started chirping which upset you but then you realised you were the bird, then the arbitrariness of all the partitions in your mind became apparent to you (what a brilliant way to explain it). I find your explanation to be the most on point explanation i have had so far of my experience. But it was hidden inside one of your duality video's so it wasn't the most accessible piece of information. Albeit it being very useful.

Is it possible you could extend what you know about the mechanics of opening your heart in greater detail? Because like a lot of my insights i had not started meditating yet and it all fell into the past and the knowledge i had gained was but a memory, a shell of a memory that's core principles which enabled me to truly be compassionate dissapated as time passed. Are there any things we can do to regain insights we have made? I find language to be useful, but at this point i find myself using language as a type of breadcrumbs leading you back to true meaningful experience, but even then i can't seem to find the symbolic smurft village in the forest. No matter which breadcrumb trail i follow, it helps me gain more of an intellectual understanding but that's not enough to really transform my relationship with whatever it is we have relationships with.

I hope you could make a full video about opening your heart, because ultimately this insight had led me to love unconditionally for a few days, without fear of being hurt and then being randomly compassionate to others felt great and free not as if i was doing it to contrast the "opposite" side of me.  Now this feeling or perspective non existent and i feel nothing as opposed to feeling love that i thought was not humanly possible and that i've never experienced prior to this.

I'm sorry if i wasn't clear enough, i have not had as much practice as you and admit you have inspired me by reflecting in me my own inability to properly express my insights. Which you probably are aware of if you have read this far

If you ever tour international, i hope there are enough of us in Melbourne, Australia to make it worth your while.

The below is just a short appreciation from my perspective of what you do. I can't express how much i value the content you put out.
How you are able to articulate a lot of my psychedelic experiences that i just could not translate to words myself and actually thought it not possible! Yet you put forward all these idea's and concepts so succinctly, it put's me in a state of awe. I truly truly admire what you do, and this may be selective of me but i've perceived your video's becoming much more interesting and in depth after your psychedelic experiences that you shared on your channel which I am very grateful for. Partly being the reason that even the existential psychologist i go to isn't of much use when i come back to him with some of my psychedelic experiences which hugely impacted the direction or path i am on. It is frustrating as these substances should be considered as an essential and powerful tool in the western world of psychology to help us understand ourselves and how we relate to reality.

We're not there yet but you're doing a great job of making this information so accessible to us laymen philosophers.

 

 

Edited January 17, 2018 by MisterMan