My major problem wrapped up in a Star Wars analogy

[Ian]

I took the opportunity to watch Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back yesterday. Having been in 'spiritual circles' for two and a bit years now, a lot of the themes of Star Wars seem a lot more meaningful, e.g. Hero's Journey, the unity of all (the Force), etc.

 

The lines that hit me hardest were these ones (important parts in bold):

 

Yoda: "You will know (the good from the bad) when you are calm, at peace. Passive. A Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defense, never for attack."

Yoda: "Yes, a Jedi’s strength flows from the Force. But beware of the dark side. Anger, fear, aggression; the dark side of the Force are they. Easily they flow, quick to join you in a fight. If once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will."

 

Yoda: "If you end your training now — if you choose the quick and easy path as Vader did — you will become an agent of evil."

 

Darth Vader: "The force is with you, young Skywalker, but you are not a Jedi yet."

 

I have noticed (and has been pointed out) in myself that I am "turning to the Dark Side", so to speak. I have a paralyzing fear of choosing the long and difficult path. I have tendencies to use my divinity as an attacking weapon on others. When people stand in my way, I become angry.

The problem is that I have had many insights and revelations along my path, one of them being an 'understanding' that there is no right or wrong. This means I am perfectly free to choose the Dark Side, should I so wish.

How then, do I find the courage to walk in the Light? From where do I find a cause so noble that it is worth dying for?

 

NB: Whilst the analogy is amusing, I am being deadly serious here. I am at THAT point in my own hero's journey.

[aurum]

7 minutes ago, Ian said:

The problem is that I have had many insights and revelations along my path, one of them being an 'understanding' that there is no right or wrong. This means I am perfectly free to choose the Dark Side, should I so wish.

How then, do I find the courage to walk in the Light? From where do I find a cause so noble that it is worth dying for?

That's the beauty of it. The Light side couldn't be the Light side if it said "you must join us!".

No. That would make it no different than the Dark side.

So it's really just a choice you make for your own sake, not because anyone or anything is telling you to do it. And it can't be any other way.

You'll find the courage to move up when you've finally had enough of being in the dark. You'll realize that while there is no "good" or "bad", the Dark side has a major cost. Your own well-being.

Nonetheless, it will keep trying to sneak its way in. That get-rich-quick-scheme, that drug, that criticizing and moralizing. It's all the same shit.

But the good news is that the Light has always been there. You don't have to find it, you have to let it out.

That's when you've found something worth dying for.

[Martin123]

@Ian StarWars system is quite unfortunate to look at.
Its not about Light vs. Dark.
Its about darkness being transformed into light, by light.

The moment darkness enters your field it transforms. So Id encourage you to be arrogant ;-) 

[Nahm]

@Ian “When people stand in my way, I become angry”.  What’s up with that? What’s going on, who’s “standing in your way?”

[Nexeternity]

I say let yourself be dark if you must, but be conscious about it.

You should feel just a little tensión, just a little wrongness, just a little suffering.

Hopefully your own selfish motives to be happy will help you stay off that path.

[Omni]

There is no one 'Standing in your way' metaphorically or physically. You don't own anything, you're not entitled to anything at all, there is no your way - and there are no barriers, only the ones that you create within your mind.

You got to the point of understanding there is no right or wrong, but not far enough to see that's the beauty of it all? It almost goes hand in hand.

Existence, being able to have choices and maneuver through what we call space and time in such a complex yet simplistic way, having the ability to perceive and enjoy the ups and downs of life is all there is. If you cannot find beauty and profundity within that, then you will not find it anywhere.

 

[Ian]

@Omni

Conceptually, I agree with your first paragraph. However, that is of almost zero use to me because it's not my experience. Obviously what I AM experiencing is a dumb victim mindset and can be broken down, but that doesn't change the fact that it's my perception of reality, and it's bothering me. I cannot simply believe something else and have it go away. I can see the beauty in the absolute freedom of choice, but to be honest, it's just overwhelming, rather than exquisite, right now. Thanks for your direct words. Perhaps something will come to me if I think deeper about what you say.

@Nexeternity

I was thinking that the "awareness alone is curative" method would probably be the sensible way. Anakin himself took the entirety of episodes 4,5&6 before he finally got fed up of darkness, so it's clear that it can take a while. It's interesting that you think selfishness can provide the right motivation for the noble path. Perhaps you could clarify what sort of selfishness you mean? If it's just "taking care of yourself, so you can better help others" then I can agree, but I'm wary of going any more self-centred than that.

@Nahm

Anybody who says anything that challenges how I view myself. I don't mind people pointing out my flaws if I've already identified them as flaws. It's when other people say I have a flaw that I don't believe I have that I suffer. It's an inability to accept that other people could possibly have a clearer view of me than I do of myself, in certain domains. Either I'm angry at their very suggestions (I perceive them as being arrogant so my response is righteous anger), or I'm frustrated that I have no idea how to see myself clearly and work out who is correct (if either!).

@Martin123

OK I'm gonna be a little harsh here - sorry in advance. "The moment darkness enters your field it transforms." Is that something you've actually experienced, or are you simply regurgitating Matt Kahn and hoping that he's correct? Do you even know what it means? I'm not saying you should be completely distrusting, but at least toy with idea that he could be a wolf in sheep's clothing. Maybe some of things he says are brilliant, and maybe some are false. How would you know? Just because something makes you feel relaxed and at ease doesn't make it true. It makes it incredibly dangerous and worthy of serious skepticism. Obviously I'm projecting the hell onto you right now, but that's ok right?

@aurum

Your post is the one that resonates with me most - for what it's worth. Whether that's because the truth is singing, or whether it just agrees with what I was already thinking, I do not know. So would you agree with @Nexeternity that I will have to realize for myself the detriment to my well-being that the 'darkness' brings before I might be motivated to choose otherwise? Maybe I don't REALLY think there is no right and wrong and I'm secretly moralizing against myself for being fearful and angry.

 

Thanks for your replies all, sorry if I'm sounding really bitter at the moment

Edited January 13, 2018 by Ian

[Martin123]

48 minutes ago, Ian said:

Obviously I'm projecting the hell onto you right now, but that's ok right?

Yes of course, thats quite ok i dont mind.

Its not even an idea I got from Matt. He did articulate something I felt quite strongly my whole life. I didnt even consider that spiritual but I always had a sense of fearlessness towards any kind of darkness.

 

But let me ask you this. How can you be arrogant when youre aware of your arogance?

Thats the same as wearing a costume of a chicken, knowing youre not a chicken, and being afraid of losing yourself to the idea of the chicken.

[Martin123]

In better words Id encourage audacity to explore your “dark side”.  Not necessarily become a dickhead  

I admire the fact that youre so earnest about your own path and on doing the right thing. I never do that ? im always more like... yeahh whatever.... hope dis works mehh.

Edited January 13, 2018 by Martin123

[Nahm]

@Ian Maybe think about yourself as an everychanging thing, versus definable. Even time you define yourself, you changed. Isolate the catalyst as your anger, not what anyone says. You’re already aware of the triggers, become more aware of the reaction and response, then contemplate on it.

[Ian]

@Shiva

"Darkness is just the absence of light, isn't it?" In this context, I have no idea. Perhaps. Perhaps not.

@Martin123

Thank you for enduring my dickheadery "How can you be arrogant when you're aware of your arrogance?" How can I be a self when I'm aware of my no-self? I guess there are differing levels of awareness. Perhaps noticing something is not really the same as being aware of it? Maybe I have no idea what true awareness even is, or rather what it points to.

"I admire the fact that you're so earnest about your own path and on doing the right thing." Haha thanks mate. I had a little...back and forth...with my mother this morning, where I once again realized that just being honest, open, and vulnerable always leads to better results than aggression. The Dark side sucks major ass, but is always so alluring, and as Yoda says, so quick to join in a fight.

@Nahm

Define myself as a non-definable being, gotcha. Wait...

 

@aurum I just watched Leo's video on The Highest Hero's Journey, which I think has clarified your last two sentences for me.

 

Leo says I need to slay the dragon (the ego), whereas Matt Kahn says the ego needs to be loved and integrated, not destroyed. They both feel right in different ways, but also seem diametrically opposed. I guess this is just yet another expected paradox for me to explore?

I'm also seeing Star Wars Episode 8 tomorrow, so hopefully the screenplay has had some divine intervention, and actually contains some more juicy wisdom for me. To be honest, I can make almost anything seem deeper than it is, so it shouldn't be too challenging to find stuff.

[Nahm]

@Ian Just use the force, even though it’s undefinable. 

[Martin123]

@Ian Ohh now I understand what you mean by darkside. Now it makes much more sense.

Well, what i find helpful in these situations when im about to be a dickhead I like to remind myself that nothing is anyone’s fault and theres noone to blame for anything.

First I try to release self-blame and then In the light of nothing being anyone’s fault lies a choice of, how am I going to treat another, if I choose to see things from a place where noone is to blame.

[Jamie Universe]

11 hours ago, Ian said:

The problem is that I have had many insights and revelations along my path, one of them being an 'understanding' that there is no right or wrong. This means I am perfectly free to choose the Dark Side, should I so wish.

How then, do I find the courage to walk in the Light? From where do I find a cause so noble that it is worth dying for?

There is no right or wrong, except that that's a complete lie. There's no right or wrong as some cosmic force, as some people believe it is. But there is a good and evil that you make, unless your chill with murdering your entire family right now. 

So then what makes a decision? What to choose? In a sense you already have, it sounds to me like you don't really worry about going to the dark-side because of there's "no good and evil" and don't join the Light side because nothing worth that much that you can see. 

 

My point is, you've got to make a decision. And you either choose the one where it seems like its good, but you know its actually bad. Or choose the one where it will seem bad at first but will payoff x 1000000000 later on. But the pay off really is just the fixing of any problem you might have.

And so whenever your tempted to go to the dark side, remember young Padawan, for the dark-side misleads you, this is in its nature, to seem better, whereas its actually a trap.

[Ian]

Episode 8 was a bit...all over the place, but there was one scene that spontaneously moved me to tears and nearly gave me a full blown panic attack, so it seems worth investigating.

* SPOILERS*

During the awesome battle in Snoke's throne room, Kylo Ren and Rey both try to pull Anakin's old lightsaber towards themselves with their Force powers. It is a symbolic clash of the polar opposites in the traditional duality of light vs dark. As they pull harder and harder, Kylo and Rey are actually repelled away from the lightsaber. It then splits in two and releases an intense, pure, light.

The way I interpret this at the moment, is that the traditional battle between light and dark, is really a battle between the false light and the rejection of the false light (and the true light too, I guess). The TRUE light is contained WITHIN ALL things. Any appearance of false light will always create a rejection of it and create 'balance'. The true light itself is beyond the concept of balance. I would LOVE to hear other takes on this.

Edited January 14, 2018 by Ian

[Martin123]

@Ian I think u nailed it bro. Btw I loved ep. 8.

[Ian]

@Jamie Universe

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. THANK YOU. I cannot even begin to express how grateful I am that you created this post.

 

I had never, ever, thought to separate right vs wrong from good vs evil. But they are different words, so they HAVE to mean something different! I understand my internal conflict much better now. The burning desire within me is to DO GOOD, not to BE RIGHT. But because I had these completely confused, I was trying to be right all the time in my attempt to do good. I guess this is why the road to hell is paved with good intentions!

 

As a corollary, my overarching life purpose has suddenly clicked into place. It seems so obvious now. My general life purpose is:

"To create abundance in the most loving way."

 

Why do I want to create abundance? To DO GOOD.

"The object of all life is development; and everything that lives has an inalienable right to all the development it is capable of attaining."

"Life is the performance of function; and the individual really lives only when he performs every function, physical, mental, and spiritual, of which he is capable, without excess in any." - Wallace Wattles from 'The Science of Getting Rich'.

To create abundance is to self-actualize, and to help others to self-actualize.

 

Why do I want to do it in the most loving way? Because creating abundance in ANY OTHER WAY, is to DO EVIL. If you create abundance for yourself at the expense of others, then no true abundance has been created, for you are all things. To create abundance, the total amount of good things must increase. In order to act in the most loving way, it is necessary to self-realize, to become 'enlightened', but NOT SUFFICIENT.

 

To solely persue the creation of abundance or to solely persue enlightenment is to DO EVIL. Donald Trump DOES EVIL. Some enlightened dude in a cave away from society DOES EVIL.

Be like Leo. Leo DOES GOOD.

 

Should I make a new forum topic on this insight, so further discussion can take place?

Edited January 15, 2018 by Ian