Looping Through Reality - 4-HO-MiPT, High Dose Trip Report

[Girzo]

***DISCLAIMER: I won't share the dose, as my stuff is partly degraded and every batch is different, let's just say it was high.***

"Everything changes to a point that it stops and it turns around."

SET&SETTING: 

01.2018 // Monday, after school. Plan was to take it, pass the peak at home and go on the walk. It failed terribly, parents came back in the middle of the peak, so I had to wait for it to come down a little bit until I could interact with them and even then it was totally bizzare, like I was talking with some egyptian gods. I wonder how weird I am on the daily basis that they didn't even say a word looking at how I behave. Maybe I was acting normally and it's just a drug that made every action look ridiculous in my eyes. Ingestion: emtpy stomach, glass of lemon juice to dissolve powder. Tip for next trip - wait for it to dissolve completly, otherwise some will be left on the glass. No bodyload throughout the whole trip other than a slight burning caused by vasoconstriction on the come up and off set of the trip.

PART ONE -  TAKES AGES TO LOAD, THEN EVERYTHING TURNS INSIDE OUT:

I have waited for visuals to kick in before drinking water. Turns out I didn't take enough of it, because I was thirsty when parents came home. Listening to music, dancing, etc. When it kicked in, then it KICKED IN. I was sitting on the sofa with music turned off when room started to shrink and expand alternately. I felt my body fully, everything was getting heavily distroted. Everything was vibrant and full of life. Cushions on the sofa started flowing and were hypnotising. Just thinking about it makes my heart shiver. I couldn't have predicted what was going to happen.

Then my reality started looping, muliplying, translating. It was a wisdom overload, I was hardly keeping up with the experience. Actually, there was no I for a moment, then it reemerged, then got lost again. I didn't take it beautifully, there was a lot of resistance, the dose took me by surprise, which sounds stupid when I write this now, considering how ridiculously high the dose was. I tried to meditate, which was so absurd considering what was happening, I was aware of that, nevertheless there was an urge to do something, so I was taking a meditative posture and getting crushed down to the sofa repeatedly, laughing a lot, having insights well beyond thoughts. There was almost no control over the experience.

KEY INSIGHTS:

• Seeing life as an endless, complete loop.
• Everything is inclusive and complete. 
  • Sort of +- polarity kind of thing. 
  • I can't really explain it. 
  • I bet there's a spritiual book or trip report that explains this experience.
• Everything is right just the way it is.
• Death and life is the same thing.

Looking through the window, all the trees felt like a fractal mockup. Like it was an artificial reality. The bathroom was the home of visual patterns crawling up the walls and bathroom utensils, these felt evil and were red-colored. Looking in the mirror my face was resembling a clay frog, emoticon-like symbols of expressions appeared floating in front of my face. Nothing really interesting, I was just passing time and preparing for a walk.

PART TWO - SACRED GEOMETRY OF NIGHT SKY:

I know from where did the notion of astretisms (patterns of stars in the night sky) come from. They were so vivid and unique. I could spin around and looking up into the sky everything got fractalized. I had occasion to do that thanks to deciding to go on the walk. A lot of profound thoughts flooded my mind. On this dose, the comedown was stronger than peak of 25mg trip and lasted for 3 hours. Everything was so wild and obvious at the same time. Very enjoyable experience. I felt urge to rather consume the experience in silence, rather than analyizing it intelectually, which is very encouraged and rewarding on AL-LAD.

I felt other perspectives as bubbles. People in my life, objects, all having a separate bubble of reality. Those bubbles are constantly moving and merging, all affecting each other. I felt a very strong influence of cosmos on how my life looks like. The feeling that everything is right the way it is stayed with me for the whole next day after the trip.

COCNLUSIONS:

• Why would I believe that I exist? That's such a stupid notion. There's no separate I and probably no existing reality, but the second statement needs more proof.
• I should tell parents that I take psychedelic drugs. I live with them.
• Although, I have seen those insights, now they feel distant and unreal. I am figuring a way how to incorporate them in everyday experience.
• Yet, there's a change in how I look at the world, will see if it lasts longer than 2 weeks.

The day after, when I heard lyrics of Infected Mushroom's song "Everything changes to a point that it stops and it turns around." , I instantly knew what they are talking about. A strange loop, which reality is. Those guys know their music.

[Nahm]

@Girzo excellent report man. Thanks for sharing!

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, Girzo said:

I should tell parents that I take psychedelic drugs. I live with them.

Careful about that.

People who are not ready to hear about spirituality are best left alone.

Just because you've cognized a profound truth doesn't mean everyone will understand or treat you nicely for it.

[phoenix666]

wonderful! thanks for sharing your experience! 

how did you manage to stay cool when your parents came? I was always alone when tripping and yet I felt a bit paranoid.. one of my biggest fear was them catching me in such a state. 

that what you wrote about bubbles <3 I had that experience as well!

[Girzo]

@brovakhiin 4-HO-MiPT is a very popular, legal tryptamine in my country. Easily accessible and tested by many people. Those were the main reasons to choose it over something like 4-AcO-DMT or 4-HO-MET. I have read trip reports from all over the internet and decided to give it a go.

@phoenix666 I stayed cool, because I am a cold, non-reactive bad boy. Either that, or I was too high to care.  No, but really I shat my pants a little at first, because my plans got derailed. Leaving house was easy, as I had prepared everything: water, chocolate, reflective band, jacket, etc. I just grabed my stuff, told parents I am leaving and left. 

@Leo Gura Yeah, I have time to reconsider doing that. It's not like I would like to convert them or anything. It would just be convenient if I could store bottles of reagents in visible places, ask for time to trip, so I don't have to lie to them that I was drinking and can't drive, etc. Yet, I am not sure if I want to take a burden of becoming a psychedlic sheep in the family.

[phoenix666]

@Girzo alright you cold, non-reactive bad boy chapeau, seems like you escaped quite nonchalantly. 

I could never tell them. I don't think they would understand. I told some people who I considered to be quite openminded and they didn't react badly.. but not as open as I expected them to. the stigma is huge. 

telling my parents would complicate things. they'd try to control me and wouldn't trust me anymore. but that's my situation.. I don't know about yours. but think it through..you can't take it back once you tell

[gleb]

@Girzo I showed my folks LSD before I tripped the first time and explained to them why I was doing it. It's better to be honest with them than live in fear of them catching you mid-trip which can be traumatic in of itself.

Proactively revealing it makes it to where they can't peg you for lying by omission. That's my strict Mom's favorite thing to gripe about

Edited January 11, 2018 by gleb

[Girzo]

@phoenix666 I have got my best friend into psychedelics. But he is more of a Arnold Schwarzenegger kind of guy, he is tripping not for spiritual purposes, but to find motivation, vision, solution to relationship problems, etc. Yup, he has wasted his whole first trip imagining he is an Iron Man flying through the streets.

But yeah, most people will just look at you in a weird way when you mention psychedelics, because they have their own opinions, even though they know close to nothing about any substance. 

@gleb Thanks for your answer! That's what I would like to achieve. More authenticity and honesty in my life, because I am tired of making up lies, it's almost like a habit.

Edited January 11, 2018 by Girzo

[phoenix666]

@Girzo maybe they're going to open his eyes one day, you never know. I think lots of people came on this path through psychedelics

wonderful, that about authenticity and honesty! <3 I have in fact been more open about my spiritual work and general my inner world in the past weeks. it feels  liberating. 

but I am nowhere near ready to tell my parents about psychedelics let us know how it went if you tell them!

[Shroomdoctor]

@Girzo can you recommend the substance?

[Girzo]

For sure I can recommend it. It's well-known, safe and cheap. 

[Shroomdoctor]

@Girzo Good to know, thanks. 

[Girzo]

Here's a report from my first trip on low-medium dose of this substance if you like to read that stuff and want to know more about it:

SET&SETTING: 

12.2017 // Thursday. Skipped lessons and went home. Being alone XX mg of white powder was weighted and ingested oral route. Using water could have been a bad idea, but I couldn't swallow the paper it was put on in any other way. Next time prepare vodka or distilled water. I was lacking sleep on that day. Prior to the experience I was talking with classmates at school, it has affected a mood of the trip heavily.

PART ONE - QUICK ONSET: 

Bodyload was felt. More intense than on AL-LAD, for sure, but it wasn't not a problem. There was some shaking and feeling cold.

During this phase "The Best of Blackmill" playlist was listened to on headphones. Effects started showing up after 15 minutes. Intensity of psychedelic effects reached it's peak in about hour. It's a very quick acting psychedelic.

It was hard to focus on anything. Very strong OEV and dreamy CEVs. A lot of random stuff happening. Nothing really interesting. I was role-playing a talk with my classmate and imagining prom night. Very photorealistical renditions of humans in winter clothes smiling at me. It felt like watching a movie. In my mind I have also seen some random photo of totally ordinary couple done with a shitty camera at the evening. I will laugh my ass off if I ever see those people in real life.

Chaotic experience. Music didn't really help this time. I was surprised with the quick onset and intensity of it. Yet, I think the dose was too low. Later on everything became more manageable, too much manageable.

PART TWO - NO MUSIC:

I have tried to contemplate nature of reality and failed terribly. Too much thinking. Need to work on it. Went to the bathroom and seen my face in the mirror. Reflection was 3D and I had fun wondering who is more real, reflected or standing me. After that, did some animalistic movements and roared a few times. I still feel blocked and limited inside.

What I did contemplate was social conditioning. How we are setup to live and not really living because of that. I came to conclusion that I haven't started using this life yet. We as the modern people are mass produced and not really developed, each of us individually. I have to start taking action in the world, enjoy life using body and mind.

Started playing songs from my "Songs to Try on Psychedelics" playlist, cried at "Stereo Sayan 3D", although music enchancing effects started to wear off by the time. 

(self-reflection: I write too much)

PART THREE - THE WALK:

Went on the walk. Thought about how cancer is a feature not a bug. That humanity is gambling as a species with it's fast development. That there's balance to everything. And you know what? It was fucking amazing. I have enjoyed every step made in the snow and danced like a crazy motherfucker. After that did some chores with smile on my face.

COCNLUSIONS:

• More preparation.
• Higher dose.
• Start living your life.
• Learn to let go.
• Everything is simple and easy, you just need to go for it.
• Have a vision of how you want your life to look like.
• There are many levels of understanding, prepare for that so you don't end up dumbfounded.