Emptiness, Nothingness and Death

[Scholar]

I keep asking myself why I am doing anything at all, and it always seems to come down to trying to avoid or fill the emptiness within myself. I also asked myself what that emptiness really is and why nothing can actually fill it. I had the thought that the emptiness is always there because it is showing me my ultimate destiny, which is death. No matter what is achieved in life, it will always ultimately end in the same way. There is no avoiding it, and maybe the mind somehow knows it.

But yet, the emptiness is precisely what is fueling all of my actions. The emptiness is literally the reason why I do anything at all. The trying to fill the existential dread of eventual non-existence is what motivates everything, even though everything is completely pointless.

From what I have read and heard, everything really is nothingness, and reality an expression of nothingness. Enlightenment happens on death of me, the realization of the absolute is the realization of nothingness. Is it a coincidence that the expression of reality is fueled by the seemingly same thing as the expression of my actions? I do everything to avoid nothingness, and reality really exists precisely because of nothingness, because of the ultimate limitlessness of itself. So reality, by coming into existence, must fracture itself into expressions or consciousness, it is in some way avoiding nothingness, or trying to fill it with absolutely everything.

I also remember that the ultimate goal of buddhism is nirvana, the absence of everything, meaning nothingness itself. The absence of everything means the ultimate absence of suffering. Does that mean that the expression of nothingness, which is everything, is in itself suffering? The avoiding of nothingness seems to be suffering, so doing anything at all is ultimately always suffering. Is that why nirvana is desirable, or not necessarily desirably, but naturally the end product of reality? It's like nothingness is expressing itself and pulling the expression back into itself. All expression eventually dissolves, but the expression exists precisely because it is nothingness expressing itself, so meaning nothingness running way from itself. Because of that it seems to me like existence itself is necessarily suffering, it is almost as if that's the very "point" of existence.

Might that also be why evolution is leading us directly to the acceptance of nothingness? To realizing nothingness into all of existence and see no difference in life and death, in expression and nothingness. If the expression of anything is suffering, the point of expression is to eventually become nothingness. I know from a non-dual perspective the expression and nothingness are the same thing, but it still seems like a fundamental force from the perspective of the human mind.

 

Suffering is like nothingness pulling something back into itself, and something clinging to itself. In other words, suffering is not just the inability to let go, it is metaphysically the object or expression resisting the dissolving into non-existence. That is what suffering is, it is not painful, it isn't bad, it just is what it is, and it is expressed within consciousness. This would be so interesting, because letting go of ego would not just be something happening in the mind, it would be something happening in reality itself. Then again, there is really seems to be no difference, because they both are the same thing.

 

Most importantly, this would mean that creativity is a product of nothingness, and literally equal to suffering itself. The act of creation, or the act of nothingness expressing itself, is equal to suffering, because creation is fundamentally running away from nothingness. The fuel for human desire, for human intelligence, and basically for all of reality would then be nothingness. Suffering is not at all bad, it is just what happens. I think I'm not even using the conventional word of suffering anymore, because it is not just resistance, it is the fragmentation, the discrimination itself. That is why nirvana is the ultimate goal, it is not just the cessation of resistance, but the cessation of expression itself. The cessation of absolutely everything. It is not even really a goal, it is just what is happening. Everything is pointing towards nothingness because everything is nothingness and eventually folds back into itself. It's like god exploding while it is absorbing itself.

 

Does any of this make any sense?

 

[How to be wise]

@Scholar If you haven’t experienced Brahman, then it’s not true for you. When other enlightened people talk about nothingness, you should just leave that. Their words are not at all the truth. Because Brahman can’t be described with words. 

If you want to know Brahman, go and experience it for yourself. Don’t delude yourself into thinking you know it just because you heard or know a good description of it. Because there is none. 

[Faceless]

What is this experience of Brahman like?

Im aware the description is never the described but let’s humor one another.

Edited January 9, 2018 by Faceless

[How to be wise]

@Faceless why not humour yourself with the actual experience. 

I can’t give you a description of Brahman because I’ve never experienced it before. But I meditate every day in the hopes that I will.  Maybe you should too.

[Faceless]

@How to be wise

I’m not much of an experience seeker. I wish you the best friend ??