My Parents

[CuteCornDog]

The way they make my back feel.

I experience back pain daily as a result of mental stress caused by them.

They're divorced by the way.

 

My father.

Mentally abusive and sexually needy by choice.

ESFP.

Dangerous with words, especially regarding food.

 

My mother.

Emotionally demanding and verbally abusive.

ENTP.

Gross with animals, especially regarding food.

 

[pluto]

Meditate and locate the OFF SWITCH

[Nahm]

@CuteCornDog The pain might be from your thinking about what you’re witnessing, not what your witnessing. Try not to judge. It’s hard. 

[star ark]

Protect yourself at all costs but make sure you don't become too estranged because you may think "fuck these people I'm done" and then end up very lonely and messed up a decade or 2 later.

Yours situation sounds terrible and I hope the best for you

[h inandout]

After years of bloody arguments with my family, I've finally accepted them in all their faults (kind of).  Tonight my fat mom got me to agree to let her order a vegetarian pizza (I don't do cheese or wheat, she desperately loves meat).  Then I got her to eat a salad while we waited for the pizza delivery.  I didn't say what I was thinking, I just started making the salads.  This was much more pleasant of an argument than the many years of screaming between us.  Neither of us bring up trigger subjects anymore, which is okay, because I've grown past my neediness for approval, validation, attention, acceptance, because I do all those things for myself.  I have faith now that I can ride the waves of my negative emotions long enough to get curious about what happens if I just watch the whole thing through.  And I can be present with them even in their ignorance, and even when it hurts me (like when they bully me about being a hippie, or like how I still have to make serious personal compromises around them).  I'm not sure I'm ready to do this fully with my biological Dad yet though...

Try feldenkrais to release some back tension.

Edited January 10, 2018 by h inandout

[Adam M]

@CuteCornDog the problem is not that people are making you upset, it's that your mind is upsettable. work on that. - the Buddha

 

you cant change others. 

you can change yourself

you be a diamond

Edited January 10, 2018 by Adam M

[Salcedoop]

@CuteCornDog I can relate completely. Know that you're not alone, that it's not all in your head and that your situation is tough.
In my case what happened was the disagreements with my parents, my mother especially, got to the point where they/she convinced me I was crazy. I almost believed them/her.  
She used my loneliness against me, constantly. It was a hard pill to swallow and it's taken a lot of self-development work to get over but I did.
The best advice I can think of is: do not neglect yourself!!!  take care of you body with exercise and proper food intake. Eat best when you feel the worst, that can really help. Good luck!

Edited January 17, 2018 by Salcedoop
corrections

[alyra]

On 1/7/2018 at 6:43 AM, CuteCornDog said:

 

I experience back pain daily as a result of mental stress caused by them.

you experience back pain because of bad posture and holding stress in your body. maybe your parents stress you out, but it is your bad habits that have given you back pain. 

 

talk with a physical therapist, or a trainer. start working out regularly, in ways that target opening up and freeing your tension, getting your back to a healthy state. chances are you need a stronger core, to give your bod a chance to rest at regular times throughout the day, and to work on your hip flexors. chances are you need to improve your sitting posture, and stand up and walk for 5-15 minutes every hour or so. 

[CuteCornDog]

My mom is only unfunny because she silences me and then smiles as a result of that.

 

Her mouth breathing is something else too.

[Michael569]

Are you able to move out? 

[CuteCornDog]

2 hours ago, Michael569 said:

Are you able to move out? 

I can't because I don't have a job.

 

I wish I could because my house's a house bully and my brother's a house annoyance, and the dog is a house stalker.

[Michael569]

@CuteCornDog are you able to get a job then? Or do you have a severe physical handicap that is preventing you from it?